How are you today, sir?
How you doing, man?
I'm good, man.
What can I get you to drink?
Uh, let me start off with a Sprite.
Ooo we have Mellow Yellow.
Mellow Yellow?
Yes sir.
Who's drinking Mellow Yellow over sprite?
Literally everybody sir!
No...no... uh let me just a Coke then.
We have RC!
RC?

Yes sir, both the red and blue cans.
You didn't have to say that, I don't even know what RC is. You don't have to tell me the colors of the cans...
but uhh let me- I'm just being rude, I'm sorry. Let me just get a Dr.Pepper, I know y'all got that.
Is Dr.Thunder fine?
Who the f*ck is "Dr.Thunder" man? Who is that??
It's just like Dr.Pepper just a little more kick to it!
I don't care what type of kick this ♥♥♥♥♥ got man! This fake ass superhero man! You telling me people drink Dr.Thunder??
Yes sir! Everybody drinks it!
Everybody drin-? No not everybody, stop saying that! You- before you go home, you go home and drink Dr.Thunder??
I have a 12 pack at home man.
Man quit f*cking playing on me bro. Look, go get me a water before I leave the restaurant for real.
We have tap.
Y'all giving ♥♥♥♥♥♥ water out the sink?
Why wouldn't we?

I used to roll half a bottle of laxative pills into a Crunch wrap supreme and then leave cow pies on peoples door mats. People in my town installed porch cameras to catch the "Phantom S hitter" they said it couldn't possibly be one man, the hits were too frequent and too large. It had to be a whole gang of city punks coordinating and making planned precision strikes. I felt like a god among lesser beings in my town. Every time i was at the local diner and i overheard someone screaming about the black slop they found on their porch i felt powerful and unstoppable. I became too arrogant, started striking during the day. That's when they caught me and strung me up in the streets and hit me with rocks. I barely escaped with my life and i had to leave town. Now after all these years, I'm in a new town and I behave well enough. But I've got this nagging feeling, the urge is back, and I'm starting to think that my new town is about to experience a storm