Recent reviews by Devilmee

Do the people that work in these shops in the airport have any idea what the prices are every place else in the world? “Yeah, $14 a tuna sandwich. We think that’s fair.” Then you get on the plane. The pilot of course always has to come on the PA system. This guy is so excited about being a pilot, he can’t even stand himself. “Well, I’m gonna take it up to about 20,000.” “Then I’m gonna make a left by Pittsburg.” “Then I’m gonna make a right by Chicago.” “And then I’m gonna bring it down to 15,000.” He’s giving the whole route, all his moves. We’re in the back going: “Yeah, fine.” “You know, just do whatever the hell you gotta do. I don’t know.” “Just end-up where it says on the ticket, really.” Do I bother him with what I’m doing? Knocking on the cockpit door: “I’m having the peanuts now.” “Yeah, that’s what we’re doing back here.” “I thought I’d keep you posted.” “I’m not gonna have them all now, I’m just gonna have a few.” “I don’t wanna finish it because it’s such a big bag.” Then the stewardesses have to come out. They have to do their little emergency equipment show. You know, that thing they do. One of them reads it, the other one acts it out. “Hey, we have seatbelts and oxygen masks.” “Things for you to use.” They show you how to use the seatbelt, in case you haven’t been in a car since 1965. “Oh, you lift up on the buckle! Oh!” “I was trying to break the metal apart.” “I thought that’s how it works.” “I was gonna try and tear the fabric part of the belt.” “I thought if I could just get it started…” Then they’re always pointing out the emergency exits, always with that very vague point though, isn’t it? “Where the hell would these places be?”, would you say. The plane’s at a 90 degrees angle, your hair is on fire, you’re looking for this. How you think you’re gonna do there? She’s thinking: “I’m getting out before you’re getting out.” “You’re dead, you’re dead, I’m gone.” Then they always have to close that first class curtain, too. They always give you that little look. “Maybe if you would have worked a little harder…” I wouldn’t have to do this. It’s all a tiny world on the airplane, isn’t it? There’s always that little tiny table there, tiny computer, little cramped seats, tiny food, tiny utensils, tiny liquor bottles, tiny bathroom, tiny sink, tiny mirror, tiny faucet. So, there’s a small problem, there’s gonna be a slight delay, we’re gonna be a little late. I always go in the airplane’s bathroom, even if I don’t have to go, I gotta go in there. It’s nice. It’s like your own little apartment on the plane, isn’t it? You go in there, lock the door, the light comes on after second. It’s like a little surprise party. But I’m always impressed of the amount of equipment that they have in that place. I mean it’s little, but they got tissues, towels, closets, compartments, tiny slot for used razor blades. They always have that. Who is shaving on the plane? And shaving so much they’re using up razor blades? Is this what’s happening? What? Is the wolf man flying in there, for Christ’s sakes? Who could shave that much?