Hey, my name's Rick. I'm a new friend of the show.

Just kidding, I can't lie to you guys. It's me, Jay Spobious!

The video you're about to see is gonna be really funny, class A, 100%, the dopest bomb shiznet that Snoop Dogg ever made. However, before we get started, there's a little disclaimer we have to go over.

In the video you're about to watch, you will see a professionally trained actor, portraying police officers. Now, when you see it, you're probably going to think, "Geez, police officers? They're cool guys, just like me!" That's probably the same thing you thought when you watched Paul Blart Mall Cop or Observe and Report with Seth Rogan, which are attempts by the Illuminati shadow government to desensitize you to authority and make you think that enforcers are cuddly cool people that you can just hang out with and have fun. Maybe when they declare martial law and there's police officers everywhere in tanks, they're cool guys! No they're cool! They smoke weed, they're cool!

No! It's actually not like that at all! Police officers are ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, they're horrible people. The reason they become police officers, 89% of the time, is because they're ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and they want authority and they wanna kick your ass! You should respect them! They went to an obstacle course for six months, and they sit in a car all day or behind a desk. Oh!

*cop* Yeah right kid, you'll be thanking us when you get in trouble. Yeah, if you got mugged or killed. Well you'll be begging for a police officer then, huh?

That makes a lot of sense! Hold on, let me go cut my penis off so I don't get an STD! Oh wait, let me go put my head in the microwave so nothing bad happens to my kids! Oh! I understand, I'm gonna go burn all my money so I don't lose any of it. Oh wait, let me rub ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ all over my self so I don't smell bad. Oh!

True story, here's how to go make your very own police officer. For very cheap and it's pretty easy to do, anyone can do it!

First, kick your self in the nuts, strip an angel of its wings, and kill a baby kitten. All that's left to do now is call a black person boy, or beat up a skateboarder. Now you've got a police officer.

And remember guys, let your kids know that daddy's a hero, and not a glorified DMV employee.

Okay? Uhh, that's all. Enjoy!