I go in to a restaurant and ask for two raw potatoes. The staff looks at one another in confusion, but comply with my outlandish request. Potatoes in hand, I take a seat in a secluded booth in the back corner. The staffers are stealing furtive glances at me; never have they seen such an occurrence. I can see them looking, but I do not care. Slowly, I bite into one of the potatoes. A young waitress bends over the garbage disposal and retches. I set down the potatoes on the table, leave a $100 bill, and make my exit. The entire restaurant erupts in confusion; no one can understand what is going on. Neither do I. This is how I win.