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85 of 85 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Spring Fresh

Clean any map adequately
Unlocked Oct 25, 2014 @ 6:08pm

Employee of the Month

Get the Employee of the Month reward for your office
Unlocked Oct 26, 2014 @ 6:54pm

You're Fired!

Get fired!
Unlocked Oct 25, 2014 @ 6:36pm

Blood Soaked

Spill 100 dirty buckets
Unlocked Oct 28, 2014 @ 4:54pm

Blaze of Glory

Incinerate 2000 items
Unlocked Oct 28, 2014 @ 7:43pm

Bloody Hell!

Mop up 10,000 splats
Unlocked Oct 28, 2014 @ 4:22pm

Who's for Dinner?

Get eaten
Unlocked Nov 15, 2014 @ 5:35pm

Top Brass

Pick up 800 casings
Unlocked Nov 15, 2014 @ 10:40pm

Taking Out the Trash

Pick up 1000 pieces of trash
Unlocked Nov 15, 2014 @ 9:28pm

Ubermensch

Speedrun a map with at least %25 par time to spare
Unlocked Sep 24, 2017 @ 8:03pm

Pedestrian

Track over 20,000 footprints
Unlocked Oct 24, 2015 @ 5:33pm

Janicide

Blow up a fellow worker with the help of an ominously bright-red explosive charge
Unlocked Nov 27, 2014 @ 4:26am

Need a Hand?

Receive a total of 35 helping hands from the Slosh-O-Matic
Unlocked Nov 4, 2015 @ 2:59am

Bins? Limbs!

Suffer the wrath of the Bin machine 75 times
Unlocked Dec 3, 2014 @ 4:53am

First Aid

Restock a total of 50 medkits over your cleaning career by punching out of levels with medkits
Unlocked Dec 12, 2014 @ 4:20am

The Nose Knows

Use the Sniffer for a total of 2 hours
Unlocked Nov 27, 2014 @ 11:37pm

Chew on This!

Throw 100 items into sand traps
Unlocked Nov 27, 2014 @ 1:35pm

Disintegrator

Fry 500 items with the plasma welder
Unlocked Nov 28, 2014 @ 7:00pm

The Mops Of Wrath

Complete Athena's Wrath Level
Unlocked Oct 10, 2015 @ 3:28pm

Anti-Virus

Complete Caduceus Level
Unlocked Oct 16, 2015 @ 11:34pm

Ice-Cold Cleana

Complete Cryogenesis Level
Unlocked Oct 28, 2015 @ 1:58pm

Sandblasted

Complete Unearthly Excavation Level
Unlocked Nov 1, 2015 @ 6:25pm

Pine Fresh

Complete Hydroponic Hell Level
Unlocked Oct 2, 2015 @ 7:53pm

Surgical Sweeper

Complete Evil Science Level
Unlocked Oct 27, 2015 @ 2:13am

Deep-Sea Dry-cleaning

Complete Paintenance Level
Unlocked Oct 10, 2015 @ 4:56am

Operation Brownwash

Complete Waste Disposal Level
Unlocked Jun 13, 2015 @ 5:09pm

Refined

Complete Unrefinery Level
Unlocked Nov 3, 2015 @ 4:04am

One Mop To Rule Them All

Complete All major Official Levels
Unlocked Nov 3, 2015 @ 4:04am

Pass The Torch

Take a lit flare from a fellow Janitor
Unlocked Nov 7, 2015 @ 3:38pm

Louis and Clean

Complete Gravity Drive Level
Unlocked Oct 22, 2015 @ 9:11pm

Big Banger Burnout

Tame the uncontrollable fury of the Big Banger by incinerating it
Unlocked May 4, 2015 @ 4:02am

Clean Freak

Cleanup your own personal Office by removing any Trash, Viscera and Blood; excluding trophies, then leave
Unlocked Jun 13, 2015 @ 5:14pm

Employee of the Year

Receive 12 Employee of the Month awards
Unlocked Oct 28, 2015 @ 2:27pm

Identity Theft

Steal 30 or more Personal Identification Devices (P.I.Ds) from cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked Oct 12, 2015 @ 3:50am

Bring the Thunder

Take the Big Banger Supernova out of Unearthly Excavation and into another work-site and turn it on
Unlocked Nov 1, 2015 @ 6:43pm

Master of the Beats

Turn off the Big Banger while it's playing loudly(keep your music volume up too) in zero-gravity during a Solo game
Unlocked Oct 22, 2015 @ 4:41am

Plague Bearer

Transfer a Goo-Jar to another work-site and infect something
Unlocked Oct 16, 2015 @ 11:47pm

Head Hunter

Collect a head from each species in cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked Nov 5, 2015 @ 2:33am

Brushed Steel

Complete Revolutionary Robotics Level
Unlocked Oct 24, 2015 @ 3:12pm

Bushwhacked

Complete Overgrowth Level
Unlocked Oct 12, 2015 @ 3:50am

Bob's Legacy

Find Bob
Unlocked Oct 28, 2015 @ 10:11pm

"Red Keycard"

Unlock Bob's super secret secret stash room
Unlocked Nov 1, 2015 @ 6:31pm

Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe

Find all the unique and hidden collectibles and return them to your office
Unlocked Nov 1, 2015 @ 6:31pm

Eggregious

Find all the hidden painted eggs and return them to your office
Unlocked Oct 18, 2015 @ 9:06pm

Lost in Space and Time

Get consumed by an inter-dimensional crack in space-time
Unlocked Oct 29, 2015 @ 7:47pm

Wicked Unliving

Collect the chainsaw, boomstick, cursed hand and the evil book and return them to your office
Unlocked Oct 31, 2015 @ 1:42pm

Thursday the 12th

Collect the mask and machete and return them to your office
Unlocked Oct 31, 2015 @ 1:42pm

Bad Dreams on Helm Street

Collect the clawed glove and return it to your office
Unlocked Oct 31, 2015 @ 1:42pm

Harroween

Collect the white mask and butcher knife and return them to your office
Unlocked Oct 31, 2015 @ 1:42pm

The Shimmering

Collect the axe and return it to your office
Unlocked Oct 31, 2015 @ 1:42pm

Never Put It On

Collect the ring and return it to your office
Unlocked Oct 31, 2015 @ 1:42pm

House of Honor

Clean the entire House of Horror level
Unlocked Oct 31, 2015 @ 1:42pm

Back From Whence It Came

Destroy the Bad Banger
Unlocked Oct 29, 2015 @ 5:31pm

Not Quite a Lumberjack

Destroy 200 items in the woodchipper
Unlocked Oct 30, 2015 @ 2:46pm

Cleanliness is Godliness

Completely clean all mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 9:08pm

Christmas Crisis Corrected

Completely clean Santa's Workshop without breaking any Christmas items and clock off
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 9:53pm

Sanitized Earth

Completely clean all mess and destroy every item in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 10:04pm

Bloody Incompetent

Prove your incompetence by leaving a worse mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 1:45pm

St. Nick's Boomstick

Collect Santa's shotgun and bring it back to your office
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 9:08pm

The Red Nose Knows

Collect the iconic reindeer nose and bring it back to your office
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 9:08pm

Rooks Kept

Collect the different Rooks Keep figurines and take them back to your office
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 9:08pm

Ballistic Weaponry

Collect the different Ballistic Weapons toys and bring them back to your office
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 9:08pm

Thunder Candle

Requisition a new replacement janitor through the use of TNT
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 1:43pm

Head Hunter

Collect elf heads and bring them back to your office, you freakin' psycho!
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 9:08pm

Santa Hats Must Die!

Incinerate 50 Santa hats, the symbol of everything you hate
Unlocked Dec 9, 2015 @ 2:53am

Tower of Babel

Build a stack of 10 stools
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 10:16pm

The Day the Funk Died

Bring about the sad meeting of Ice-Cold Banger and fire
Unlocked Dec 8, 2015 @ 1:48pm

Cold Storage

Complete Frostbite Level
Unlocked Dec 23, 2015 @ 4:06pm

Biomassive Breakdown

Complete Incubation Emergency Level
Unlocked Aug 9, 2016 @ 8:49pm

Sanitary Supremacy

Completely clean the entire Shadow Warrior temple level
Unlocked Jul 23, 2016 @ 3:52pm

Mr. Two Million Dollars

Collect the two million dollars of cold hard cash from the Shadow Warrior level all at once and bring it back to your office
Unlocked Jul 23, 2016 @ 3:52pm

Swept Under The Carpet

Complete Uprinsing Level
Unlocked Dec 19, 2017 @ 9:34pm

Crystal Clear

Complete Core Sample Level
Unlocked Jan 2, 2019 @ 4:12pm

Pest Control

Complete Pestilent Penitentiary Level
Unlocked Jan 5, 2019 @ 7:24pm

Bleach and Clear

Complete Penumbra Level
Unlocked Jan 6, 2019 @ 8:54pm

Audacious Oddities

Find all the unique Collectibles in the Vulcan Affair and return them to your office
Unlocked Jan 9, 2019 @ 1:39am

Lair Care

Clean the entire Vulcan Affair level
Unlocked Jan 9, 2019 @ 1:39am

Teeth for Tunes

Bring about the unfortunate meeting of Double-Oh Banger and Shark
Unlocked Jan 6, 2019 @ 10:21pm

Blood in the Water

Go for a swim with Sharks
Unlocked Jan 6, 2019 @ 10:28pm

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Tank

Feed the ever hungry Sharks 500 items they can either devour or destroy
Unlocked Jan 9, 2019 @ 1:09am

Double-Oh Dumbass

Foolishly activate the Death Ray
Unlocked Dec 20, 2018 @ 2:59am

Locked In

Lock another player inside a holding cell where they belong
Unlocked Jan 6, 2019 @ 10:37pm

Death From Above

Get turned into mist by an orbital beam weapon
Unlocked Jan 6, 2019 @ 10:25pm

Cat-astrophe

Using an orbital beam weapon, destroy the symbol of your most hated overlord; cats!
Unlocked Jan 6, 2019 @ 10:25pm

Orbital Bang-bardment

Allow the Banger to ascend to its rightful place among the heavens through the use of an orbital beam weapon
Unlocked Jan 6, 2019 @ 10:27pm