["Meet the Engineer" text appears]
[The Engineer is sitting on his toolbox in front of a blue truck, strumming his guitar. The track "More Gun" plays. Next to him is a kill counter displaying 209]
Engineer: Hey look, buddy. I'm an engineer, that means I solve problems.
[A shot rings out and a bullet hole appears next to the Engineer's head.]
Engineer: Not problems like "What is beauty?", 'cause that would fall within the purview of your conundrums of philosophy.
[Another two bullet holes appear, on the other side of the Engineer's head.]
Engineer: I solve practical problems!
[The shot zooms out to show a level 2 sentry shooting offscreen while the Engineer takes a long drink from his beer.]
Heavy, offscreen: AAAAGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!
[The kill counter ticks up from 209 to 210]
Engineer: For instance, how am I gonna stop some big mean Mother-Hubbard from tearin' me a structurally superfluous new behind? [A level 1 sentry turns around and shoots a sniper who was trying to creep up on the Engineer from behind.]
Engineer: The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work, use more gun.
[Another level 3 sentry fired a salvo of rockets, blowing up someone offscreen.]
Someone, offscreen: MY AAAARRRMMMM!!!!!
[A blown-off hand lands at the Engineer's feet, resembling that of the Sniper judging from the glove. We can finally see the kill counter again, which is now at 214]
Engineer: Like this, heavy-caliber tripod-mounted little-old-number designed by me.
[Engineer kicks the hand off-screen as a level 1 sentry blows it apart.]
Engineer: Built, by me.
[A level 1 sentry shoots offscreen.]
Engineer: And you best hope...
[The Engineer's expression darkens, and he grimaces as he stares right at the camera.]
Engineer: Not pointed at you.
[The shot slowly zooms out, showing the massacre ensuing around the Engineer, while an electric guitar begins to replace the melody of "More Gun".]
[Team Fortress 2 ending flourish music plays.]