bro your profile is totally lynchian

he's the GOAT

i had a dream last night where i put a paul mccartney and the wings cd into my ps1 to unlock clear suezo in monster rancher 2, but that cant be right... can it?

When I shut my eyes, all I can think about is Garfield. What adventures am I missing? What quips of utter genius are being crafted at the very moment I lazily try to sleep? How will we show through complex mathematics that Nermal is the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ character in the strip, even more so, all of literature?

I peruse my leather-bound 1970's Garfield omnibus morning, noon, and night, eager to uncover the countless gems and pearls of wisdom waiting to be unlocked. Garfield is the greatest MMORPG I have ever taken part in. Amazing graphics, gameplay, and lore. Jim Davis is constantly keeping us on our toes with evolving content.

Thank you, Garfield.

Ever since I started reading Garfield, I've slowly descended into madness in real life. I will see things that aren't there. Like dates, geometric means, complex theologisms written...on chalkboards that are empty. I see morons at the Barnes and Noble with the audacity to fanboy about "Peanuts" or "Calvin and Hobbes" as if Snoopy-dog has anything to contribute to the post-modernist discussion. I see the ghost of Christmas past (who looks like 1970's Garfield), the ghost of Christmas present (Bill Murray's Garfield) and the ghost of Christmas future (a hologram Garfield with laserbeam eyes). Nobody else sees these people, but I talk to them nonetheless. They tell me things. Important things.

My public speaking skills? Gone. Everything needs to be presented in 3 panel formatting with a Universal Press watermark. All I can think about are lasaga, Mondays, and I feel a constant, crippling apprehension about just where my pipe could be...

King Dice: Hot dog! These fellas can't lose!
The Devil: Nice run, boys,
[Cuphead and Mugman look shocked, King Dice bows to The Devil]
The Devil: Now, how about we raise the stakes?
[The Devil takes out two dice]
The Devil: Win one more roll, and all the loot in my casino is yours! But if you lose, I'll have your souls! Deal?
[Cuphead, who has fall for The Devils trap, has his pupils turn into $$]
Mugman: [Worried expression] Good gosh, Cuphead, no!
[Cuphead throws the dice. it rigged-ly landed on snake eyes]
The Devil: Snake Eyes! You Lose!
[Cuphead And Mugman Are Shocked]