I spent 90% of my money on women and drink. The rest I wasted - George Best

Moving from Wales to Italy is like moving to a different country - Ian Rush

"Only one man ever understood me, and he didn't understand me." - G.W. Hegel (philosopher)

"Only one thing is impossible for God: To find any sense in any copyright law on the planet." Mark Twain. -

"You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest." - Rowan Atkinson.

"The first ninety minutes of a football match are the most important." - Bobby Robson.

"I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally." - WC Fields.

"I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons." - Douglas Adams."

"Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos." - Homer Simpson

"Operator! Give me the number for 911!" - Homer Simpson

"I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman." - Homer Simpson

"I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early." - Charles Lamb.

"As God once said, and I think rightly..." - Margaret Thatcher.

Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.

The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch