Yo mah niggaz, some motherfucka has been stalking me n shit. He uploaded a video of me doin everyday shit on tha Youtube! Fuck! We need to find him n blast him, ya feel me?

Video of me IRL = https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON-3I315hcE

Happy Beastbass and New yearz, my niggaz! After a long time with no updates, I have good news and also a bad as fuck one.

Firstly, SCG got to platinum in UGC! Fuck yeah! But that's where the bad as fuck news comes to play, we can't fucking play! Because of that bitch ass ULCSUX and his boyfriend bork that fucked our team and stole Daan like I knew they would (tried before). F0 real, take Daan but none of us? I understand that he is in need of an ego trip or something and wants to lead a team (even though he told me he quit because he was tried of comp, lying ass nigga), but why give us the F? I thought we was homies, but I guess not. I wouldn't actually care who was leader and play with him if I was invited, but he apparently doesn't like us, fag.

Anyway, it's been a long ass time since ULCSUX fucked us and I think it's time for a comeback. We've been just fucking around for too long, fightin' over faggy robot parts and mothers while the next ETF2l season is in 9 days! (sign ups) But f0 that we need homiez. You feel me?

Make sure you get real homeboyz, none of the shit we had before. If they are more gangsta than bork, take 'em. Make sure they ain't snitches or bitches. They need to handle the hood unlike O lry and they need to have the time to support us and shit. Train with us so that we can grow together. None of that "hurr. I only log in to play match durr" - O lry 2013 bullshit. Get subs too, cuz niggaz might be busy on EZ, you fizzy?

You need to get the word out, that SCG is back on the row! Write tha application to get homies (I know that's not actually what an application is, fuck you). And, woggz, stop eatin' that pizza, stop playin' dota 2 and get back to business. Ft0e already found some niggaz, you didn't find shit, nigga.

Also, I'm going to make a complaint box for the new homiez, cuz the old ones just said, "fuck u n yo team, u sux because x. goodbye fag." without giving us any chance to improve, hell, they didn't even show any signs that there was something they disliked, fags. Hopefully this box will stop that shit. So whenever you thinks something sux in SCG, just write it in the box and we try to fix it, aight? No need to leave on us, dayum, chill.

So we got to the playoffs and I didn't think we actually would. One big ass problem though. O lry hates us and thinks we are too fag and left us to die, and even if he'll be cool with us again, the roaster is locked during play offs and we have no chance of getting him back.

So, we got our original set up back and are basically fucked. That also means that if one of us can't come one day, we are done. So you have to do everything to come. We don't have any subs and no, the other 5 players aren't real subs, they are just pubfags and don't really know anything about this shit and they are there for desperate situations only. So if we use them, we are still fucked. The teams in the playoffs aren't newb enough. What happened in Metalworks last season won't fucking happen here.

Make sure you check if you can come every Wednesday for the next 4 or so weeks. http://www.ugcleague.com/maplist_tf26.cfm Check here if you're not sure of the time.

The only way to do this now is to play with the original set of Gz. But Ft0e is mad because we didn't let him play as much before and doesn't give a Madd F about us. So it is our job to motivate him and make him play with us, make sure he doesn't play other shit like GTA vee or Mafia 2.

Ft0e needs to be back in shape, and so do we. From now on, at least 3 lobbies (I know lobbies are shit but what else do we got?) every day and everyone need to know the exact strats, like how we did in Gravelpit, and as always, make scrims, nigga. Sorry for cheating on you, Ft0e. You're the only one for us! <3.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q57qB6Kwroo = I expect this to be Ft0e in the following days, got it?

ULCSUX fucked up B.I.G. time once again. Did he explain any of the starts to you? Probably not, because he doesn't even know the fucking rollout. So I'm taking it on to myself to do it because ULCSUX is being a lazy fag (Not writing the strats, not explaining the strats, not actually even being here, at least not until 21:00 when everyone left already.)

Okay, so for those who actually want to know what the strats are and not be insulted by ULCS for not knowing them even though he doesn't know or tell them himself, I've written down what tha fuck you gotta do. So actually read it this time, ULCS wouldn't be telling you shit. Half of you didn't even know what map we are playing!

I just realized that it's a fucking waste of time to write anything because you faggots won't read it. *cough* Gravelpit *cough*.

So just watch these videos, because it's basically the same.

Part 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIjJfEscM94
Part 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n3eyXOxpixU
Part 3: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-cWBPf-L4XI

MAKE SURE YOU WATCH THESE (AND MEMORIZE IT!) BEFORE THE GAME ON WEDNESDAY 20:00 CEST! I know it's long, But if you don't watch it, we are 100% FUCKED! If you don't have time, watch it during recess on a smartphone if you have one or something. We need to know this shit before the game (also do it in a game, which reminds me, be here early on Wednesday for the scrim!)

I will be review everything tomorrow and see if everyone understands, so you better watch the videos! Don't fuck up this time or I will be forced to do a disciplinary action because you fags are starting to get lazy!



Man, I miss the days when we all were on the same server to do the rollouts, don't you?


inb4: ULCS reads this, cries, stops wanting to be a medic and begs Borkkana to do it, that or he will say something in the likes of "faq u ivan! im busy! ican't do everythin! i have a life unlike you, you fucking faggot!".

Okay so I talked to ULCS and he should know what we are going to do with the next battle, make sure you tell (spam) him about it because he gets amnesia or doesn't care sometimes (becomes left handed, plays with some fag named Berend, masturbates or translates Latin). Once you know the strats, test it in lobbies, scrims or pickups and see how well it goes, then we can all refine it if it's fag.

Also, be here early on Wednesday, because ULCS said he made a scrim, but don't fuck it up like you did before, otherwise ULCS will get sad and not bother to do anything.

Man, we should have done this long ago and for every game.