The Steam Controller sucks, and you know it!

[[GO]SkidMaRk]

Just to clear things up a bit. I have been an avid video game nerd since I was a little boy. I am now twenty nine, and I am currently serving in the armed forces. I mostly play PC games when ever I have free time. I have also played on every mainstream console to date. I do prefer to play games on a PC rather than a console. I am pretty good with a controller, but I am best with my keyboard and mouse combo. That's enough about how awesome I am. I will now move on to the NON-PHYSICAL review of this terrible game pad/nipple areola Steaming pile of ♥♥♥♥.

This controller is the worst controller since the controller that came with the Jaguar console in 1993. It makes zero sense. If I was the boss of the guy who was in charge of the design team for this controller, I would have fired his ass on the spot as soon as he uttered the words "Touchpad" and "controller" in the same sentence together.

Experiment number One: Try to run while jumping, crouching and aiming while changing a weapon at the same time.

-Result = Impossible.

Since the left touch-♥♥♥♥ on the left side is always "movement" these precise actions can not be performed when called upon. Those "X" and "Y" buttons just became pointless because you have to lift your left thumb up of the direction pad to use them!

Experiment number Two: Try playing a first person/third person viewed shooter and win online.

-Result = Nearly impossible.

Quantum leaping back in to the past to punch yourself in the face, right before you buy this monstrosity will be the only way that can result in an actual win.

Experiment number Three: Try using it to scoop up the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the back yard.

-Result = Awesome.

This thing really scoops up those turds well. Even those dry crunchy white one's that smell the best. My rating for the controller: 5 sledge hammers to the hands of the person who designed it.

[jvp]

I don't think anyone here can argue with this factinion.

Lord Gaben has betrayed the master race with these controller shenanigans.

[blackout24]

So for how long have you used it?

[Frazzlet]

Clearly games are simply unplayable with this controller and Valve hasn't tested it at all...

[O Cap'n! My Cap'n!]

The best part of PC gaming: ignorant a$$holes who rant and criticize things they know nothing about (i.e. the controller hasn't even come out and yet you claim to have perfect knowledge of why it sucks).

[TheGreatDamorian]

Originally posted by GOSkidMaRk:

Experiment number One: Try to run while jumping, crouching and aiming while changing a weapon at the same time.

-Result = Impossible.

You have just as many buttons available as you would on current console controllers. http://i.imgur.com/YJxQZaN.jpg

Originally posted by GOSkidMaRk:

Experiment number Two: Try playing a first person/third person viewed shooter and win online.

-Result = Nearly impossible.

I'm assuming you suggest this because, with conventional controllers, aiming is significantly more difficult. This is one of the many reasons why you don't see a lot of cross platform games, or people playing pc games with a controller. The reasoning behind this is while aiming with a mouse you control the POSITION of the screen, whereas with a joystick you control the VELOCITY of the screen's movement. A trackpad can be used for either, but will likely be used like a traditional touchpad with this controller. I'm optimistic because this controller totally solves that. A similar experience could be had playing FPS games on the Nintendo DS, where some games used a thumb on the bottom touch screen to pan around.

Additionally, you gain the analog movement that you would have with a controller that you don't get with a keyboard, allowing for finer control. This controller provides the best of both worlds.

[Chaz]

I haven't even tried it yet, but it's design looks good. Don't knock it til you try it.

[paulcd2000]

I would just point out that with, say, an xbox 360 controller, you also can't really jump, crouch, aim, and switch guns at the same time. well, not unless you do ungodly contortions with you right hand to manipulate the stick and the buttons at the same time, and then your hand will almost certainly be off the trigger. You will probably need to bind weapon switch to something near the right hand, but since this controller is designed to be customizable, that should be totally doable.

Also, as for winning online, I think we're just going to have to wait until it comes out to know for sure how usable it is.

[Kan-el]

What about the avenger for PS3 and XBOX controller?

[[GO]SkidMaRk]

Originally posted by TheGreatDamorian You have just as many buttons available as you would on current console controllers. http://i.imgur.com/YJxQZaN.jpg[/quote:

You just proved my point of not being able to lift your thumbs.

Originally posted by TheGreatDamorian This controller provides the best of both worlds.[/quote:

Not in my world of logic.

Originally posted by O Cap'n! My Cap'n!:

The best part of PC gaming: ignorant a$$holes who rant and criticize things they know nothing about (i.e. the controller hasn't even come out and yet you claim to have perfect knowledge of why it sucks).

I do have perfect knowledge, thank you good sir.

Originally posted by Chaz:

I haven't even tried it yet, but it's design looks good. Don't knock it til you try it.

You have a grammar error. Merit not given.

[Booker DeWitt]

"Experiment number One: Try to run while jumping, crouching and aiming while changing a weapon at the same time."

experiment number one: please, don't be a cod fanboy. this thing u said, it only happens at cod.
experiment number two: tell me how many hours have you played with steam controller so far.

[TheGreatDamorian]

Originally posted by GOSkidMaRk:

Originally posted by TheGreatDamorian You have just as many buttons available as you would on current console controllers. http://i.imgur.com/YJxQZaN.jpg[/quote:

You just proved my point of not being able to lift your thumbs.

Not sure how... did you look at that image? On an Xbox controller, without removing your thumbs from the sticks, you have 6 available buttons (both sticks, both triggers, both bumpers). On this controller, you have 8 (see screenshot).

[[GO]SkidMaRk]

Originally posted by Booker DeWitt:

experiment number one: please, don't be a cod fanboy. this thing u said, it only happens at cod. experiment number two: tell me how many hours have you played with steam controller so far.

Resorting to name calling? Nice tactic. I'm not a fanboy of anything. It happens in a vast majority of games.

[paulcd2000]

Originally posted by GOSkidMaRk:

Originally posted by TheGreatDamorian You have just as many buttons available as you would on current console controllers. http://i.imgur.com/YJxQZaN.jpg[/quote:

You just proved my point of not being able to lift your thumbs.

If you look at a 360 controller, you can actually only hit 6 buttons without lifting your fingers; L3, R3, LT, RT, LB and RB. So this one should, in theory, actually be *better* just in terms of buttons.

[[GO]SkidMaRk]

Originally posted by paulcd2000:

Originally posted by GOSkidMaRk:

You just proved my point of not being able to lift your thumbs.

If you look at a 360 controller, you can actually only hit 6 buttons without lifting your fingers; L3, R3, LT, RT, LB and RB. So this one should, in theory, actually be *better* just in terms of buttons.

This has some truth to it, but you are forgetting about the "aiming with a touchpad" subject.
Try gaming with a laptop touchpad. It will make you angry enough to snap the whole device over your knee while screaming loudly at the neighbors.

[bloop]

Originally posted by GOSkidMaRk:

Resorting to name calling? Nice tactic. I'm not a fanboy of anything. It happens in a vast majority of games.

I mean I don't know why you're still talking, you've been proved wrong on all counts already.

tl;dr
STFU until you get hands on you ignoramus.