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The systems are on the same subnet, but because of my VPN setup, the IP address that Steam uses to connect to the Internet is not the same IP address that the LAN uses. At first, I noticed Steam sends a UDP packet to 255.255.255.255, which causes it to be routed to the VPN, and not the local network. I explicitly added 255.255.255.255 to my route table:
route add 255.255.255.255 dev eth0
and that got Steam to at least show the other system in the list. Monitoring all traffic between the systems using Wireshark shows that system 1 sends discovery to 255.255.255.255:27036, then system 2 responds with a unicast packet to the same port, and nothing else.
Hopefully that is actually the solution and not just a coincidence...
If you still have problems, might be a port issue. Try turning off the firewall on your router temporarily and see if it works then.
Hooray, Progress.
But still, BigPicture didnt help me, double clicking didnt do it either :/
Make sure all steam apps are participating in the Beta, if one is not it will show the in home streaming but will not allow you to actually see "not connected" as if you are in the beta on that computer.
Occasionally I have to just restart the steam apps for them to see each other, no logic i've fund yet as to why.
Lastly in one of the official steam posts it does say to have a certain internal port open (sorry I cant find the post and about to head to bed) but that also could be causing an issue.
Hope one of these help.
It happens to me now and then between different computers and the trick I found is the one you described. Always work for me. Restarting steam on the host computer also gets it to "publish" its online status to others I guess and they usually see it afterwards.
The network setup is main machine to a WiFi router to another machine each with its own subnet.
O and have tested it wireless.
Host was connected wireless client wired.