How did Rihanna find out Chris Brown was cheating on her? She found another woman's lipstick on his knuckles.

How do Ethiopians celebrate their kids first birthday? By putting flowers on the grave.

What did the boy with no hands get for Christmas? GLOVES! Nah, just kidding... He still hasn't unwrapped his present.

What's got 5 arms, 3 legs and 2 feet? The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What's the worst thing about breaking up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

Jesus Christ fed 2,000 people with 5 loaves of bread and 2 fish, but Adolf Hitler made 6 million Jews toast.

What do you call a five year old with no friends? A sandy hook survivor.

My Grandpa said, "Your generation relies too much on technology!" I replied, "No, your generation relies too much on technology!" Then I unplugged his life support.

What's the difference between Paul Walker and a computer? I give a ♥♥♥♥ when my computer crashes.

What do you call 5 black people having sex?

A threesome.

If only Africa had more mosquito nets, then every year we could prevent millions of mosquitoes of dying needlessly of AIDS.

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ appendix out!

What is the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?
I dont know, I just fly the drone

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape