Ultimate Muscle Roller Championship Review

[Michael {United Critics}]

This review was made based on my experience playing on a Ryzen 5 3600, 16GBs of ram and a RX 6600, be mindful that my experience can differ from yours depending on the hardware.

Do you like memes? Do you like staring at barely dressed muscular men? And do you love bizarre racing games? Man, do I have the game for you. Ultimate Muscle Roller Championship is all of the above… Please notice that I didn’t say “good racing game”. I understand that there are people who are into “unironically loving bizarre (and kind of bad) games” but if you are not part of this crowd I see little value in this game for you beyond the “I will gift this to my friend to prank him”, which I will admit is something that my friends do, so maybe this is the perfect game for you. The rest of this review is just a formality to explain why I think that this game is not worth it so you can leave now and save yourself some time.

Questions you might have if you're interested in playing it:

• What is it exactly that you do in this game?
  
  It’s a racing game where you pick between 6 characters and play on a cup of 6 races on 6 different maps, every time that you finish a race the last place gets eliminated and the first 3 places get loot that you can sell on steam. This loot, that comes in not quite boxes, contains skins for your characters.
  
  
  Each character has a different theme, from Ricardo Milos, to a Japanese guy that is into BDSM to the monster of the Black Lagoon. All the characters have the same stats on the races.
  
  The driving physics are terrible, it’s hard to turn you “car” around, the “cars” are floaty, it’s really easy to get stuck in the terrain and if you hit the “car” of another AI player, you are the one that experiments the full force of the impact and will lose the race. The feedback for driving is terrible and everything feels stiff. Another thing, this game spams your screen with steam achievements for… everything… And that is the game.
  
  
• Will it make my eyes bleed?
  
  Even for indie standards it looks bland, the animations are stiff, the textures are bland, the lighting is generic and the models are not terrible. I’m aware that the “ugliness” of this game is part of the “joke” but seeing barely naked men racing each other over dumbbells loses its charm after the first 5 minutes.
  
  The cinematics are poorly animated and the music drowns the poorly acted dialogue. As a positive, I like how friendly the configuration settings for sound and graphical quality are.
  
  
• Does it have a good story?
  
  It doesn't apply, you don’t need a reason or premise for playing as Ricardo Milos racing another half-naked men.
  
  
• Does it have a good soundtrack?
  
  I believe that all the tracks of this game are royalty free, I’m not sure. The songs are not annoying but way too loud for my taste, this is something that you can easily fix on the settings.
  
  
• Does it have replay value?
  
  Only if you find the awful racing mechanics and/or you find another poor soul to play on MP… yes this game has MP.
  
  
• Does it run well?
  
  It ran well at max settings at 1080p, no crashes, no bugs.
  
  
• Is it fun?
  
  Only the first 5 minutes.

Is this expansion worth my hard earned money?

I believe that his game has its place on steam, but it will depend on how much the dev asks for this game. As someone that enjoys sending troll games to my friends on their B-days, I wouldn’t pay more than $1 for the joke. So that is my stance for this game, don’t pay more than $1 for this game.

Rating: 3/10
It’s not fun or charming but it works fine and it’s well optimized

Reviewer: Nova