I'd rather be a dwarf than like Steve, who's almost a giant. 'Cos the world's not made for a giant.

"He had a helmet on but his head came off"

Whether it's on a council estate in Manchester, London, in the jungle, there's always one nutter, isn't there, who doesn't wanna join in

When you're born, you're a little baby, you're wrinkly and stuff, when you get older you sort of morph into a baby again

Ricky might be good at all the acting and all that, but I'd probably survive longer.

People say I'm a div but Dolphins are intelligent. It baffles me.

You only need seven mates in life. Snow White with her midgets had it sorted in one go.

The other day I was in the park an' there was a goose just sat on the edge of the pond an' I just wanted to run up and kick it.

I don't really like going to bed cos I'm rubbish at sleeping and the slightest noise wakes me up

Bird noises are normally quite relaxing...but not for the worm.

When the three wise men gave baby jesus preasents, was it for his birthday or because it was christmas?

If I was Noah, I would have gone, "Hang on a minute, I've just seen somethin' that looks a bit like this, let it drown", have a bit of a clear out, but he was messin' about savin' everythin'

Why didn't evolution make a giraffe good at carpentry so it could build a ladder?

Stay in the woods, Stay green, Stay safe.

They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?

If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about