For SCIENCE!.

Bread? Check. Bacon? Check. Plate? Check.

Laser cannon? Check. Interdimensional portal? Check. Seven metric craptons of explosives? Check. Backup explosives? Check. Cannon fodder? Check. Evil nanobots? Check. Evil mamobots? Check.

Life insurance? We'll deal with that later. First, we need to make this sandwich... *powers up laser*