While most of The Collective have been sitting about being as lazy and fat as fat lazy people - at least three of us have been actually doing something productive!

"Who are these three scabs?" I hear you scream in outrage - and I'll tell you.

First off the Pistol King as been busy making his new website: www.cake-me-up-baby.com

Another of our number has become a mysterious ecological super hero who spends his time saving glaciers from lumberjacks and turning off wind farms to save electricity. No one knows who this ultra brave caped crusader might be - but one thing is for sure - he's obviously a fantastic amazing person with bulging trousers.

And finally, the terrifying Taek has created another compilation showcasing his awesome skills, any nubs might want to go and hide behind the sofa right about now:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NtiKyBXBC4

Word has it that the military tried to capture Taek, planning to drop him behind enemy lines where he could wreak unholy havoc, but apparently when the swat team got within 500 metres of him they all wet themselves and went off crying like little girls. On the evidence of this footage - it's not hard to see why.

Smokers have other talents than licking their neighbours stamps, lollypops and women folk from long distance – as this video, lovingly crafted by the terrifying Taek shows:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P6wc-XgcPsY

GASP as the smoker drags people about all over the shop! HOWL with laughter as he comes back again and again to haul his victims around the place, and finally SCREAM with delight as the hapless survivor is poached through a wall, out the window and sucked down to his deadly doom!

The lesson to learn here is of course not just to stay away from the window when going in that house – but to stay away from that side of the building completely!

Collective members will know Taek as the mild mannered, often silent, gun-toting sharp-shooting rudeneck who enjoys killing people.

But imagine if you were a member of the wretched public? The first meeting you would have with him - would be when he dropped out of the sky to land on your face and began to tear your arms off!

What would that be like I wonder? Well thanks to his technical ability - his industry - and his desire to show everyone what a complete lunatic he is; we can now put ourselves in the filthy stinking shoes of the miserable public scum by watching this wonderful film he has made:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8iKvoOTXMc&fmt=18

If you find yourself feeling sorry for the public at any stage - give yourself a slap in the mouth, and remind yourself that they are the public - and they suck - hard.

Yes everyone knows we here at The Collective rock like no others - with passion, fury and dangerous skill. And yet it is often hard for normal folk to visualise the heights that we do actually reach when we are in full uber-flow.

Thanks to the industry of Sepsys though, it can now be demonstrated for all to see - just why clan leaders tell their underlings that if they do not do as they are told, The Collective will get them:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_D24BDLe4rI&feature=channel_page

Put that in your pipe and smoke it - before we mercilessly bust you up beyond all repair!

Which Sepsys has been kind enough to work his magic on:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OLKf6VHJ0M

Howl in fear all!