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Play Deponia he said, it will be fun he said. Now I've gone crazy with moon logic trying to feed pelicans coat hangers, brutally ruined the lives of multiple people and listened to over 10 hours of pointless, completely random egotistical developer commentary.
He said to try TF2, well what could go wrong? After kicking 2341 bots I think I've found the answer. Clearly it's random crits, because even blind demoman can oneshot you with a little blue pill while you have full uber. I'm not mad, I'm livid.
Play Hand of Fate Mushu, the final boss is so cool! Little did I know how realistic a game could be as all of my food, gold and clothes stolen away from me until I starved to death, with the dealer even trying to steal from you when YOU HAVE NOTHING.