Listen to me you rotten fucking prick.

You leave me the fuck alone, and you leave me the fuck alone right the fuck now. Do you fucking understand me, you subhuman mongrel?

What the hell is the matter with you anyway? All you do is sit on your ass in Phoenix living off of daddy's money and contribute nothing to society. You are truly the lowest form of life I've ever encountered. You're not even a human being.

If you think you're so tough, come to Dallas. It would be my pleasure to curb stomp your ass. Maybe that would teach you to close that goddamn mouth of yours.

I was goin' through a really HARD porn-addiction phase. I was a porn-fiend, and one day before class

I wanted to see some vaginie, I wanted to ejaculate. I wanted to just bust a fat nut real hard before class, but I couldn't.

I watched a lot of porn for the better part of 25 minutes, which for me, that was a bender and a half. Usually I would've

cummed three times during that period back then, but on this cursed day my well was dried up and I had no more semen left

to give my boxers. It's also worth noting as an important detail during this time, I never needed to jerk off and never even knew how.

I'd always just ejaculate after getting an erection sometimes I'd try some different techniques like slapping it around or something to

see if that helped the sensations or anything but I never really jerked off, that's the point here. I could ejaculate using just

the power of my intellect and euphoric gamer senses, I was able to propel cum when I was stimulated visually or mentally. Alright so take that little

nugget of wisdom and put it your back pocket and save it for trivia night. So, I wanted to stay home and just ejaculate because i thought something was wrong with me

I thought my dick malfunctioned or God banned me from ejaculating. I just thought something was awry and I wanted to stay home but my parents wouldn't let me because

that day we had a school play to perform, it was Hamlet and I was playing the role of fucking P Diddy, who's the character with the P in his name? Palpatine? It's like P-Polonius

Polonius. I was playing Polonius and he gets stabbed and that's crucial to the story maybe? So i couldn't miss it, my parents didn't want me to miss it they'd already planned on going to see it

So i couldn't skip school that day to ejaculate. Plus, it's not exactly a strong reason, I was very forward with why i didn't want to go to school. I was telling my parents, "Look, i just want to cum"

And you know no sane parents can be like, "You know, that's a good excuse Harold. Let's not send him to school today". I get sent to school. I go through school per usual and the play was supposed

to take place right after school ended. So yeah, y'know I was able to push back the y'know desire to ejaculate and all that for the entire school day and up till the play I was rehearsing my lines

or my actions and all of a sudden, all at once. It was like a light switch went off. It was like I was having a fucking Jimmy Neutron Brainblast™ in like, the costume room and all I was seeing was porn

like my eyes just rolled into the back of my head, and all I was looking at was porn like I was Professor Xavier who just jacked into Cerebro and I was seeing all of the porn that I'd ever seen in my life

all at once. and I.GOT.HARD.AS.A.FUCKING.ROCK and I knew that that was dangerous because like I said earlier, I never needed to like, physically stimulate to ejaculate. So I'm sitting there in my Polonius costume,

on the verge of just blowing a hard load into it right before going on stage. And I'm panicking. Because we're about to perform this play and I have some shit I got to do in the play. I'd hate to be the guy that gets stabbed

in the play, the curtain rolls back and then all of a sudden I'm just laying on the floor with a boner and a wet spot in front of the whole school and all the school's parents. That'd be terrifying, for all of them and myself.

So, I'm trying to brainstorm ideas, I didn't want to just go blow a load into the toilet cuz that tought never really occured to me then. So, my plan was to just start chugging water as quickly as I could and just try and PEE OUT MY ERECTION

I thought that would work if I just kept urine flowing the best I could. I only had like t-minus 20 minutes till show time, So i killed like two water bottles, and the plan worked and I was able to like, basically piss out of my boner and I was able to perform the play

the best I could.

So, the lesson here is : No half-measures, If you feel like you need to ejaculate. Then, fucking do it. Get it out of the way cuz you never know when it might come back to haunt you.

You might be in the middle of a school play and then all of a sudden you're spitting out Baby Gravy™ into your costume and trying not to cry in front of the whole class.

Just don't edge for like 9 hours, just get it done, get it over with and then be productive for the rest of the day. That's the lesson, i guess the lesson is jerk-off when you need to. That's it, see ya.

Początkowo opublikowane przez ComputerCraftr:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Cipherpasta:

its beautiful

And more chapters are still being added

I love it

Początkowo opublikowane przez ComputerCraftr:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Cipherpasta:

isabelle is too pure for this

Nothing is sacred

Isabelle is sacred

Początkowo opublikowane przez ComputerCraftr:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Cipherpasta:

what the fuck

Here's the original

Holy fucking shit. I want to bang the animal crossing dog so goddamn bad. I can't stand it anymore. Every time I go to the town hall I get a massive erection. I've seen literally every rule 34 post there is of her online. My dreams are nothing but constant fucking sex with Isabelle. I'm sick of waking up every morning with six nuts in my boxers and knowing that those are nuts that should've been busted inside of Isabelle's tight dog pussy. I want her to have my mutant human/dog babies.

Fuck, my fucking mom caught me with the neighbors dog. I'd dressed her in my sister's skirt and went to fucking town. She hasn't said a word to me in 10 hours and I'm worried she's gonna take away my 3DS. I might not ever get to see Isabelle again.

isabelle is too pure for this

Początkowo opublikowane przez Foster:

Początkowo opublikowane przez ComputerCraftr:

A meme turned into the real deal

A no effort throwaway joke I hated to an extent turned into something I actually give a crap about

its beautiful

Początkowo opublikowane przez Foster:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Cipherpasta:

no, not really.
i wish i
could do anything

So what you're
saying is that
you can't do
anything at all
Much like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8h1S4b6PN3w

oh my god
i love this
this is me

Początkowo opublikowane przez Foster:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Cipherpasta:

holy shit Panzertale brings back some memories

deltapanzer was born of those memories.
In other words, me and Computer were digging around in Village of Posters, reminiscing about it, and it somehow lead to this

the only acceptable spin-off of any franchise.

what the fuck

this is tactically epic