The Church of the Based

We shall now recite the prayer of the Based:
Oh Based God, of California, Swaggered be thine name. There is nothing that thou fears, because thine heart is made of diamonds. Please, give us our daily swag, our daily testaments, our daily you feel me?

Based God, grant me the powers to command the trees, the ocean, the sun, the sky and the Miley Cyrus. Oh Based God, when thou transforms into Cyrus, or Tim McGraw, or Barbara Walters, grant me the wisdom to know the difference, and still witness thine divine godliness.

Based God, lead us into temptation, and teach us to embrace all that was previously forbidden. There are no more rules Based God, for thou hast destroyed them all.

Thank You Based God, for murdering Hip-Hop, and reanimating the corpse in thine divine likeness. Thank You Based God, for exposing the false idols, vampires and zombies that long to destroy us. Thank You Based God, for the power of thine holy Testaments. And finally Based God, Thank You for fucking my bitch.

FuckBrooklyn. Amen.