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the phone bit is only really needed to be used a single time. so just asking "hey mom, know i moved out of yhe house 3 years ago, but can you receive a sms from Steam for me one single time to help me out? please!?" or something...
then after that you can just use the app on your own tablet.
My brother also does not own a phone.
I'm a hermit, so I don't really have any friends outside of school.
My vote torch and pitchfork.
I mean I would think plenty of Blackberry users (good god, they don't give up a product easy!) would be unable or unwilling to upgrade...