What is the Funniest Joke You Know?

[Frightman]

Good day!

I am bored and tired, so tell me your funniest jokes!

Moose Hunting

George was out hunting when the moose of his dreams showed up in the woods. George aimes and fires. After the bang the moose was suddenly gone. George scratches his head... Suddenly someone knocks on his back and the moose says with a threatening voice:

- Now strum up your pants and put up your ass, for now I'll turn on you, otherwise you're dead...

Ten minutes later staggers George down to a village and to its weapon store.

- Give me the best machine gun you have for now I shall shoot!

The very next day George sits waiting for the moose to show up and it does not take long until he sees it. George aimes and fires until he is out of bullets... The smoke is gone and so is the moose. Then, someone knocks on his back and there he is again. He bends his neck and hisses:

- You know what's comming, f*cking hunter.

A painful moment later, George drags himself down from the mountain and stands soon in the weapon store again...

Early at dawn the next day he gets the moose in his aim, but now in the aim of his self-seeking missle-granade-I-don't-know-WTF-weapon that he fires with an deafening blast...

Several minutes later when the smoke sets he sees that the moose is gone. George starts realising that he defeated the king of the forest. Then he hears a voice behind him:

- You're not here for the hunt, eh?

Give us your best jokes!

[MentallyillGamer(Kaddam)]

What is the difference between Congress & a condom? Give up, you can only put 1 ♥♥♥♥ in a condom. (A very inappropriate incorrect political joke.)

[tmwfte]

Christian Science.

[yote]

Equality.

[Umbran]

What did the volcano say to the other?
I LAVA YOU

[lol]

the other day i spilled spot remover on my dog...
AND NOW I CANT FIND HIM!!!

[Cornflakes]

Politicians are like dirty diapers. They need to be changed often, and for the same reason.

[Wrench]

Whats one hillbillys compliment to another, "nice tooth".

[Cordax]

Want to know how I got these scars?..... I forgot. :|

[Yuri Bezmenov]

Two people in a prison:

"Hey, why are you here?"
"If I told you, you won't sleep ever again."
"C'mon, man, tell me. We are cellmates!"
"By raping people while they sleep."

[SgtEmissary [Kane's Will]]

"Roses are red, violets are blue and so is your face when I'm done with you."-Simo

"You know you're a redneck if you use your shopping cart for a grill"-Simo

"You know you're a redneck if you go through the Northern states b*tching every step of the way about them and Yankees"-Simo

"You know you're a redneck if you use your beer boxes for a briefcase"-Simo

Another GREAT joke: Gun control.

Criminal: I know you're unarmed and all but I'm still gonna have to use my gun that I got illegally and rob you anyways. *Troll face*

Law abiding citizen (Who got screwed): Okay... *Okay meme face*

Criminal: F*ck yeah... *F*ck yeah meme face*

A person with a brain: Why you no let him have gun to defend himself politicians? Cop can only do but so much... and eat their donuts. *Why you no do this meme face*

Know how you can tell the difference between a Democrat and an ordinary guy? One doesn't have an a-ss for a face. *Looks at their donkey symbol*

What's wrong with that Republican? He can't find the peanut in the 'trunk' of the car. He was looking for it so it can go a long with his 'peanut' sized brain.

... Most well thought out jokes ever.

[APerfectCircle]

What the hell is OP's joke??

How can you go from spelling 'aime' to aim???

[APerfectCircle]

Why did the Redneck cross the road?

Because his ♥♥♥♥ was stuck in a chicken

[Blingie]

Knock knock

whose there?

Ipe

Ipe who?