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Civilization games might have a hot seat option as well.
And someone else who does not understand hotseat MP.
As for the OP:
Lego series
Worms series
Trackmania
Heroes and Civ as others mentioned, plus MOO II and SMAC
Plus all that crap EA just dumped on Steam through PopCap, but you would be better off with the free on-line versions of Scrabble, etc.
Also, Jamestown is fun but might be too difficult. It gets hard very quickly due to being a short game.
She liked Minecraft, but it's not really what I was looking for.
I will keep looking into your suggestions, thanks everyone!