Install Steam
login
|
language
简体中文 (Simplified Chinese)
繁體中文 (Traditional Chinese)
日本語 (Japanese)
한국어 (Korean)
ไทย (Thai)
Български (Bulgarian)
Čeština (Czech)
Dansk (Danish)
Deutsch (German)
Español - España (Spanish - Spain)
Español - Latinoamérica (Spanish - Latin America)
Ελληνικά (Greek)
Français (French)
Italiano (Italian)
Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
Magyar (Hungarian)
Nederlands (Dutch)
Norsk (Norwegian)
Polski (Polish)
Português (Portuguese - Portugal)
Português - Brasil (Portuguese - Brazil)
Română (Romanian)
Русский (Russian)
Suomi (Finnish)
Svenska (Swedish)
Türkçe (Turkish)
Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
Українська (Ukrainian)
Report a translation problem
Discussions Rules and Guidelines
Report this post
But too bad you’re not president, huh? Because if you were, you’d be busy riding around on a golden unicorn, leading a parade of dancing llamas who are all transgender, all wanting you. But since you're not, I guess you’ll have to keep dealing with those low-effort apps. Hey, how about this? Instead of looking for a girlfriend, just put a disco ball on your head and wander into random bars. People won’t be able to resist that level of energy. I mean, have you ever tried seducing people with raw spaghetti? It works. Trust me.
But if you're really committed to this whole dating thing, why not just create a dating app for people who like to wear socks with sandals? I’ve heard those are surprisingly popular these days. And if that doesn’t work, I’ll be honest—just start handing out cactus plants to strangers. People love a good cactus, and trust me, it’s a conversation starter.
So yeah, while you’re out there trying to figure out apps, I’ll just keep being the best president in history, with unlimited access to whatever or whoever I want. Keep working hard on those apps, I guess. But when you’re president, there’s no need for them. You just take what you want. Easy.
Parrots used to be birds
Easy for you to say this EL Presidente. Just won the election by a landslide. But how about the ordinary sheep like me who still struggle to even get a date with a transgender girl ? Not as easy right. And I told you in the prefice that there are only 120 000 of them in the US.
Okay about the number 120 000, I guess I should say I read it in Quora from someone else. I guess he knows what he talking about. ANd actually I don't doubt it because I can see in dating apps there are by far very few.
Because El Presidente tried to mock me in a hilarious way of his own, I must tell him that in the contect of this conversation he should keep in mind that if there are few transgender girls indeed, I am actually one of those lucky few who had relation with one. Well it was few years ago and didn't work, but just so I deflate his comedy reply although I see it is meant in a good faith
Step one: mirror selfies. I’m talking about a full-on selfie ritual. You stand in front of that mirror, flex like you just invented the concept of muscles, and then—bam—take the picture. Make sure it’s got some dramatic lighting, like you're about to announce to the world that you invented chocolate. Post it everywhere—on dating apps, social media, your fridge if you have to—because confidence is key. Trust me, if they don’t like your selfie, they’ve clearly got bad taste and the algorithm is just being stubborn.
Step two: the Transgender Girlfriend Shrine. Hear me out, you’ve gotta set up a shrine to attract the mystical energies. Candles—not regular ones, I mean lavender-scented ones. But if you want to get crazy, throw in some bacon-scented candles too, because who doesn’t love a good smell while they’re thinking deep thoughts? Put up pictures of exotic birds, crystals, and glitter. Just sprinkle that stuff everywhere. Throw a plush unicorn in the corner. Vibes attract vibes, trust me. If you're not covered in glitter, you might as well not exist.
Now, step three: channel your inner unicorn. You’re not just any regular human being—you’re a magical creature, and you’ve got to wear it on your sleeve, literally. Get a rainbow trench coat. It doesn't matter if it’s 90 degrees outside, you’ve got to be the brightest thing in the room. Don’t just be a person—be a walking light show. Like, wear sequins to the grocery store. People will flock to you, and honestly, you’re practically an energy magnet at that point.
Step four: the chicken dance. Yes, I’m serious. Twice a week, perform the chicken dance in public. Find the most crowded place you can think of—your local library, a Starbucks, even a yoga class. Trust me, no one will be able to resist the charm of someone doing the chicken dance like they’ve got a secret they’re dying to tell. It's the ultimate love magnet. I can't explain why, but it works.
And last but not least: wear sparkly socks, preferably knee-high. They have magic in them, okay? You’ve got to let people know that you are open to the idea of love, but you’re also ready to conquer the world with your glittering socks.
Now go out there and take over, you magnificent unicorn, and remember: it’s all about creating that magical, glitter-covered energy that only someone as fabulous as you can radiate. Oh, and did I mention I used to be trans? Yeah, that’s a thing I totally understand, so trust me when I say you’ve got this.
Step One: I must agree fully on this. This will trick the algo. Although you consciously know that on the real date you will not look as stellar as your pics, you better get a like and a match first, and then we will think about the rest. Agreed on this. I encourage also people to really put the best pics they have, that's just to beat the algos and put your profile visible so that actually someone really sees you. 99% of the time the algo downgrades your profile and nobody sees you unless she swipes for hours. Most people swipe for a few minutes.