Blacksheep in a HALLMARK Family

[𝔈𝔩𝔊𝔯𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔬]

Not being rich or popular enough in a family who prayed on your downfall and declined your inclusion. Didn't like my father, so even as a baby, most people defaulted to not liking me. Never got the social and financial support throughout the years (kind of like a dog at the dinner table) and my parents didn't have generational wealth and freedom like most other people in the family. Not single, not childless, not talentless, I just don't own a camper, haven't been to the Bahamas or have a large frat group to call my own, so my family doesn't accept me and my kids.
On one hand, it's nice not being bothered, on the other it sucks even knowing your own blood is too monetary to be real and doesn't even care about children who are innocent and don't know why they don't receive love and support.
My best friend is adopted and has been better to me than most people outside of my parents.
I see many of the worlds issues, because I've basically had to live in them my entire life.
Curious if anyone else is kind of in the same boat. Just there.

The problem with America is that we have a very weak sense of community.
We practise socialism as a society and people don't realize that, they just see that our government doesn't operate that way. We as people kind of do though.

[Morkonan]

Publicado originalmente por 𝖠̶̶̅𝖨̶̶̅𝖬̶̶̅:

..
Curious if anyone else is kind of in the same boat. Just there.

Similar... Let's just say that everyone out there has had worse experiences or better ones. The common factor is that "stuff happens and it sometimes sucks."

The thing about people who have had similar experiences like yours is that people who have not don't really comprehend what such an experience is like. Some would even go so far as to suggest they'd love being in such a situation.. until they were actually in one. I have friends that, when faced with family drama, tell me how great it must be not to have any relatives...

I was told i was moving out when I was 18 years old. GG me. I had an open invitation for lunch on Sundays, but that was it. All my relatives/family are now deceased, so it's the unanswerable questions that bother me the most. My family was severely messed up... I won't ever know enough to answer "why." I was decidedly not wanted, but I don't know "why," either. So... eh, life is full of mysteries.

I decided at a very early age that instead of becoming the monster I was practically being trained to become.. I would become the opposite of that. I rebelled, but in a positive direction. :)

I grew up very fast and learned that if there are truly questions that can't be answered. That's just the way reality "is." It's not satisfactory, but then again... that's the way things.. "is," too, right? :)

The problem with America is that we have a very weak sense of community...

We actually have a pretty strong sense of "community," whether or not some people feel part of it. And, that some don't feel a part of it can be seen today with everyone seeming to join whatever social "group" that's the current flavor of the month. (Today's young people are in a severely messed up situation in this regard and it will not turn out well.)

What we don't have that some other nations/cultures do is a "multi-generational family unit" cultural model. IOW - In a lot of other regions, nations, and cultures, the "family unit" is more than just the immediate family as in parents and children. Grandparents, uncles/aunts, cousins, etc... In a lot of places, these familial relations live together. If it's not a home with three generations living in it, it's enclaves where relatives are nearly in walking distance of each other.

Outside of certain rural areas, that's just not the norm in the US.

Well, it wasn't... It still isn't, but multigenerational families are on the rise: https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2022/03/24/financial-issues-top-the-list-of-reasons-u-s-adults-live-in-multigenerational-homes/

And, they're on the rise not largely as a return to some previous cultural norms, but largely based on financial concerns, healthcare, and with some impact from immigrants with cultures that favor multigenerational family units.

Among those in my generation, it was not unusual for children to only have loose ties with immediate and certainly with extended families. It was/is not unusual for them to be on opposite sides of the country, without any other common ties. They don't shop at the same stores, see the same movies, experience the same weather, live within the same population, commute to work on the same highways or do much more than send a Christmas card or graduation gift... if that.

I am still confounded by friends who have extended family that show such disdain, contempt, or anger towards some members. Not for deeply meaningful reasons, either, bu just because... of weird conflict crap nobody ever bothered to try to resolve because there wasn't any kind of firm foundation based on "family" to work with.

It's apparently easy for large families to throw away family members for little or no reason in certain cultures.

[xAlphaStarOmegax]

I feel ya. My late mom, who passed away, was the black sheep of the family and so am I. We never really fit in because we weren't into gossiping, being envious, or trying to outdo one another like the rest of the family.

I know it's hard not fitting in with your blood relatives, but sometimes one is better off without them in your life. Life is too short to be around people who don't appreciate your presence, so instead, seek out people who do try to make an effort, people who do care.

I haven't been close to my family in years, some I don't even talk to due to how abusive they were towards me. If I can make it through it, you can too. Keep your head up. You got this.