Are you a jealous person?

[Schamyl006]

Do you envy others?

[Shiro♌]

Publicado originalmente por Here is my card:

Publicado originalmente por Shiro♌:

If I were to stop being jealous, I'd no longer be as competitive, and I'd have had no motivation to improve - I'd have become a loser, literally.

Well, sort of. I wouldn't call one a loser. That would be too hard and harsh. But seeing others do it and succeeding in it, could be a way to focus your own doing. Then of course there will become a question of motives ahead in this discussion and we would have to go deeper in the matter.

But all-in-all, I think when you feel that jealousy feeling, it might be a time to ask yourself Why am I feeling this? Is it because I can't and he can or Why I am not something something and he is? and such and reflect the feeling itself.

Then - if you bare the moment, and think the phrase Don't be jealous because you'll never know the price they have paid for getting there. You can see this thing in another light.

I don't mind being called the loser if they're on-point and I do see myself that way aswell.
Giving up early, getting kicked outta school.. That's what I'd call out without any regrets, even if I was aware of hurting the person.

Like I've mentioned and explained in my response, the reason for that is because I do compare myself to other people. The moment I focus on myself and do no longer care about the World around me, there's no jealousy anymore.
It can be motivational, it can ruin my entire day.. Depends on how huge the differences are and the result, the mere possibility of achieving the same or better than them being realistic or unrealistic for me.

I do definitely disagree that there's always some price to pay. That's not true and can't be always applied, although.. Hard to tell, really..
The stuff I'm jealous of are usually and mostly as following;
~ Having a way with words, being the center of attention whenever desired;
~ Being born into a very rich family without being forced to be as successful as its predecessors;
~ Being healthy and beautiful without even working for it;
~ Being lucky. Yes, lucky.. No matter how or in what kind of regard;

Those things and topics do merge with each other, so it's not like I can claim that only one of them applies.. It's always more of them at the same time.

[s w e k]

Publicado originalmente por L1qu1dator:

Publicado originalmente por s w e k:

Envy and jealousy aren't the same thing,

They're not? :ooh:

Jealousy is feeling threatened that someone is "taking" your position from you, for example, a sister might feel jealous of her newborn baby brother because he's taking her mom's attention away from her. Envy is the desire for what someone else has - you don't really have to know this person to feel envy. That's how I'd put it, anyway.

[Shiro♌]

Publicado originalmente por s w e k:

Publicado originalmente por L1qu1dator:

They're not? :ooh:

Jealousy is feeling threatened that someone is "taking" your position from you, for example, a sister might feel jealous of her newborn baby brother because he's taking her mom's attention away from her. Envy is the desire for what someone else has - you don't really have to know this person to feel envy. That's how I'd put it, anyway.

If you're actually right..-
Damn, this is embarrassing..

[kbiz]

Publicado originalmente por s w e k:

Publicado originalmente por L1qu1dator:

They're not? :ooh:

Jealousy is feeling threatened that someone is "taking" your position from you, for example, a sister might feel jealous of her newborn baby brother because he's taking her mom's attention away from her. Envy is the desire for what someone else has - you don't really have to know this person to feel envy. That's how I'd put it, anyway.

Lots of people use jealousy and envy interchangeably even though there are differences - kinda like OP did.

jealous adjective
1 : hostile toward a rival or one believed to enjoy an advantage : ENVIOUS

1. feeling resentment against someone because of that person's rivalry, success, or advantages.

[Grynn]

I'm jealous of Envy's acrobatic skills.

[aqua star]

I have too many people in my life who stick to me. I mean don't care most of the time, but it's really hard for me when almost everyone is judging me. All I just want to do is live my life.

[Birds]

Maybe a little bit.

[Muhyoui]

No, only once have I been jealous and that was minor (literally a game)

[Li77lehorn]

I was jealous with my first few girlfriends. Mainly because they cheated on me which sent me down that road. Now days though I'm the complete opposite. I guess my relationships went down the opposite road, which taught me to overcome those feelings. I don't think I've ever been jealous of anything else. Money, looks, abilities, experiences or whatever. None of that has mattered much to me because I look at it as not very important anyway.

I don't like it when people use those types of things as a form of weapon though. Or as a way to judge the value of another. But just because I don't like that, doesn't mean I'm jealous of it. Which I think can sometimes confuse people.

[Li77lehorn]

Publicado originalmente por Eréndira:

Publicado originalmente por Li77lehorn:

I was jealous with my first few girlfriends. Mainly because they cheated on me which sent me down that road. Now days though I'm the complete opposite. I guess my relationships went down the opposite road, which taught me to overcome those feelings. I don't think I've ever been jealous of anything else. Money, looks, abilities, experiences or whatever. None of that has mattered much to me because I look at it as not very important anyway.

I don't like it when people use those types of things as a form of weapon though. Or as a way to judge the value of another. But just because I don't like that, doesn't mean I'm jealous of it. Which I think can sometimes confuse people.

I should remember to watch it anytime I say “I’ve never” because now I have.

As this is a new experience for me, can I ask you, after you’ve been cheated on how long it takes to go back to being your old self, in the sense you’re not PTSDing in your next relationship and expecting the worst out of them?

It was a long time ago for me. Around 25 or so years ago. But I don't think I ever did get fully over it. It was always in the back of my mind that it might happen again. Even after a long break in relationships I felt those feelings(worry) again when I restarted. So I have a different type of relationship now in order to not feel those feelings anymore. Which I think helped overall.

[Apollo702]

There are few things that bring me more joy than seeing others doing well. When I see goodness I tend to do the following:

If it is a social situation and talking about it is called for then congratulate them. In other situations just keep on keeping on.

Observe and possibly harvest ideas, get in on the action... Again, it's situational.

Either way, I like to be surrounded by positive people trying in life and relentlessly cut out negative people, places and situations. It's vital!

[Ramonkey]

Jealousy is the path to the dark side

Jealousy leads to anger
Anger leads to hate
Hate leads to suffering

[secuda]

I would be lying if i said no, but i get over it.

[Li77lehorn]

Publicado originalmente por Eréndira:

Publicado originalmente por Li77lehorn:

It was a long time ago for me. Around 25 or so years ago. But I don't think I ever did get fully over it. It was always in the back of my mind that it might happen again. Even after a long break in relationships I felt those feelings(worry) again when I restarted. So I have a different type of relationship now in order to not feel those feelings anymore. Which I think helped overall.

Thank you. Can you explain “different kind of relationship” though please? If you don’t want to, I understand if it’s too personal.

I have a more open style relationship. We separate the sex so it doesn't really mean anything other than a physical thing. So sex doesn't equal love. If either of us want to be with someone else for a few hours, it's no big deal. We draw the line at anything too emotionally attaching though, to avoid any negative feelings potentially arising(for her sake tbh. If she fell in love with someone else I would just be happy for her, as she has chosen).

And I think if I was to ever go back to a more traditional style relationship, I wouldn't worry anymore.

[harley]

sometimes, yeah.