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Lilly (已封禁) 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 7:51
Is kissing cheating?
So, one of the girls I work with has a boyfriend, but she hangs out with and even kisses, like making out kinda kissing, this other girl from work. So to her it's not a thing, it's just a natural part of friendship, I guess? But I don't understand. If you're SO is making out with someone, regardless of gender, isn't it kinda cheaty? I mean, it seems to me like it is just because the girl is really trashy, so I feel bad for the boyfriend who has to kiss her after that.
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Lilly (已封禁) 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 8:35 
引用自 Pietro
引用自 Lilly
Poor hygiene, emotionally out of control despite being a full grown adult. Stuck in a high school fashion phase from 30 years ago. Goes after guys that look like wizards on meth.

Regressive indicators, all of which spell doom. Monitor it from afar and see how it unfolds. Might learn something.
Yeah but it's that old cliche' of watching a trainwreck, but you feel like you can intervene and save lives, even though you can't.
Tonepoet 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 8:55 
引用自 Angel
Passionate kissing i.e. lips then yes it's cheating.

But hugging, cheek kisses are OK, especially if they're European (cultures are diffeernt).

Lip kissing can be kinda borderline actually, but we are past the point of establishing what kind of kisses are okay since we have been talking about "makeout" style kisses since the start of the thread, which definitely crosses the line without some sort of exception.

引用自 Wumbo
it is not only cheating but a crime

Not necessarily: What constitutes a crime depends upon the jurisdiction, and often times adultry laws factor in whether or not the couple is married. We are talking about a boyfriend, a girlfriend and a single woman here, so there is no marriage involved. Also, even when adultry is against the law, such laws almost never enforced in the modern era anyway.

引用自 Lilly
So it's definitely like an attempt at intimacy on the part of the girl who's not in a relationship. Or at least that's how it seems because she's in a state of arrested development and is very desperate to be in a relationship.

Perhaps, but you can't cheat on somebody if you're not in an exclusive relationship with them though, and sometimes people just casually make out. On the other hand, by the time you're making out, that kind of implies a relationship unless otherwise stipulated.

Does the single girl know the girl she is making out with is dating somebody? 'cause it's also possible for the girl in the relationship to be leading her female makeout partner on and be cheating on her.

引用自 Lilly
Well sure for her, but I would assume the boyfriend isn't cool with his girl kissing other people, especially trashy kinds.

That's not cool, if so.
最后由 Tonepoet 编辑于; 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 8:58
permanent name 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:05 
Relationships are contractual entities defined by the participants' mutual agreement.

Broad strokes questions like this are only relevant if one of the participants bases their identity on outside perceptions and/or would find themselves inconvenienced profesionally or poersonally by being perceived as a 'certain type of person,' such as one who lets their loveslave kiss other owners.

A peck on the cheek is a social norm in half the world, most of which the English world has a lot of dealings with.

In other parts of the world merely making eyecontact with someone else's wife could result in a duel to the death.
最后由 permanent name 编辑于; 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:06
Lilly (已封禁) 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:06 
引用自 Tonepoet
Does the single girl know the girl she is making out with is dating somebody?
Yeah, so it's a whole work thing, like even the boyfriend is a coworker, and everyone at work knows they're dating and everyone thinks it's cute. Boyfriend is the type who seems to be just a nice guy, but when brought up, his response is just "She's not my girl, it's just my turn". Which I assume is joking as he seems like the more caring type. But I dunno, could be stoic. And the trashy girl just is awkward around him like she doesn't know if he knows or something.
permanent name 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:10 
引用自 Lilly
引用自 Tonepoet
Does the single girl know the girl she is making out with is dating somebody?
Yeah, so it's a whole work thing, like even the boyfriend is a coworker, and everyone at work knows they're dating and everyone thinks it's cute. Boyfriend is the type who seems to be just a nice guy, but when brought up, his response is just "She's not my girl, it's just my turn". Which I assume is joking as he seems like the more caring type. But I dunno, could be stoic. And the trashy girl just is awkward around him like she doesn't know if he knows or something.

Sounds like a fledgling relationships which could go either way.

Maybe he'll start cheating and she'll start feeling a type of jealous feeling she never before knew in this context; maybe she'll just take it as a reason to move on. Maybe she'll take the next relationship in a different context. Maybe something will change, as a result of this thing which went nowhere. A small nothingness that changed the shape of things she thought were superflous, and are not valuable still but somehow their changing changed something in her.

Maybe the jealous boy starts this whole thing off because he isn't sure if he feels for her but wants her to change or something, and oh no

tragedy!

Who knows!
最后由 permanent name 编辑于; 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:11
Lilly (已封禁) 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:13 
引用自 permanent name
引用自 Lilly
Yeah, so it's a whole work thing, like even the boyfriend is a coworker, and everyone at work knows they're dating and everyone thinks it's cute. Boyfriend is the type who seems to be just a nice guy, but when brought up, his response is just "She's not my girl, it's just my turn". Which I assume is joking as he seems like the more caring type. But I dunno, could be stoic. And the trashy girl just is awkward around him like she doesn't know if he knows or something.

Sounds like a fledgling relationships which could go either way.

Maybe he'll start cheating and she'll start feeling a type of jealous feeling she never before knew in this context; maybe she'll just take it as a reason to move on.

Maybe the jealous boy starts this whole thing off because he isn't sure if he feels for her but wants her to change or something, and oh no

tragedy!

Who knows!
Ha ha, yeah, I suppose anything is likely. But it's all very confusing and is a part of why relationships terrify me. I feel like this kinda stuff is just the way modern relationships are and people are just cool to do whatever with whoever, which to me is like, what makes it a relationship then? Spending money on eachother?
permanent name 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:32 
引用自 Lilly
Ha ha, yeah, I suppose anything is likely. But it's all very confusing and is a part of why relationships terrify me. I feel like this kinda stuff is just the way modern relationships are and people are just cool to do whatever with whoever, which to me is like, what makes it a relationship then? Spending money on eachother?

Everybody relates to one another. So a lot of people have relationships and don't even know it.

I think it depends on what kind of a relationship you want it to be.

Realistically, you're exchanging knowledge about eachother and your preferences in a controlled environment to see what sticks and what doesn't. Most of it won't.

In that sense it is kind of like spending money.
最后由 permanent name 编辑于; 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:33
Lilly (已封禁) 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:34 
引用自 permanent name
引用自 Lilly
Ha ha, yeah, I suppose anything is likely. But it's all very confusing and is a part of why relationships terrify me. I feel like this kinda stuff is just the way modern relationships are and people are just cool to do whatever with whoever, which to me is like, what makes it a relationship then? Spending money on eachother?

Everybody relates to one another. So a lot of people have relationships and don't even know it.

I think it depends on what kind of a relationship you want it to be.

Realistically, you're exchanging knowledge about eachother and your preferences in a controlled environment to see what sticks and what doesn't. Most of it won't.

In that sense it is kind of like spending money. Most of it is wasted on false choices that lead nowhere, but which might be nice either way.
Huh, that's a very mature way of looking at it.
Tonepoet 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:41 
引用自 Lilly
Yeah, so it's a whole work thing, like even the boyfriend is a coworker, and everyone at work knows they're dating and everyone thinks it's cute. Boyfriend is the type who seems to be just a nice guy, but when brought up, his response is just "She's not my girl, it's just my turn". Which I assume is joking as he seems like the more caring type. But I dunno, could be stoic. And the trashy girl just is awkward around him like she doesn't know if he knows or something.

Well, although some couples use monogamy as a way to strengthen their bonds, I doubt that being being polyamorous and caring are mutually exclusive traits, so I am a bit more inclined to take that statement at its face value given the situation. Granted, I wasn't there to hear the intonation of his voice or anything.

The way this whole situation is described also sounds to me like it is open knowledge to everybody in the office, and everybody is happy with the arrangement. My tentative ruling is that no cheating is going on here as such.

The only way to know for sure is to independently interview each of them about the matter though.

引用自 permanent name
Relationships are contractual entities defined by the participants' mutual agreement.

Broad strokes questions like this are only relevant if one of the participants bases their identity on outside perceptions and/or would find themselves inconvenienced profesionally or poersonally by being perceived as a 'certain type of person,' such as one who lets their loveslave kiss other owners.

I disagree somewhat. Knowing what the broad strokes are does matter.

If we are treating this like a contract, then it is important to know to what terms you are agreeing and there are a certain set of default assumptions that come with a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship based upon the common understanding of those terms.

If you ask somebody to be your boyfriend or your girlfriend, then the common understanding is that this relationship is going to be monogamous by default, in which case you should not be making out with other people if you agree unconditionally.

However, with that having been said, the terms of a contract can be modified with bilateral assent.
最后由 Tonepoet 编辑于; 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:43
permanent name 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:41 
I think as one gets older their preferences become more clear, and their relationships more set in stone from circumstances. So a lot just stop shopping around, for friends or otherwise.

So it's much easier to see the failures and pitfalls involved in retrospect.
TwisterCat 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:43 
I was just going to get a cup of coffee, and I slipped, and I got somebody pregnant as I was falling! :crying_yeti:

Did I cheat, or is the blame on the slippery floors?
Tonepoet 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:46 
引用自 TwisterCat
I was just going to get a cup of coffee, and I slipped, and I got somebody pregnant as I was falling! :crying_yeti:

Did I cheat, or is the blame on the slippery floors?

The blame is on the mangaka who wrote this stupid plot right out of a doujinshi. It doesn't quite sound like the sort of story bkub would write though, so who was it?
TwisterCat 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:47 
引用自 Tonepoet
引用自 TwisterCat
I was just going to get a cup of coffee, and I slipped, and I got somebody pregnant as I was falling! :crying_yeti:

Did I cheat, or is the blame on the slippery floors?

The blame is on the mangaka who wrote this stupid plot right out of a doujinshi. It doesn't quite sound like the sort of story bkub would write though, so who was it?
This guy
https://youtu.be/aDdOchBejcc
最后由 TwisterCat 编辑于; 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 9:47
Q-T_3.14.exe 2023 年 10 月 13 日 上午 1:19 
Europeans be like
Agent 2023 年 10 月 13 日 上午 1:25 
Open relationships are great for sharing pie. Every guy needs to provide a filling once in a while.
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所有讨论 > Steam 论坛 > Off Topic > 主题详情
发帖日期: 2023 年 10 月 12 日 下午 7:51
回复数: 107