I accidentally made my cat gay and he thinks I’m his lover

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trullzlul Jan 28 @ 11:15am

So my cat, Franki, recently came down with a pretty severe stomach virus. The vet gave me some anti biotic drops to put in his food but when I’d do that Franki wouldn’t touch it. So, the vet suggested using a small dropper tube to insert the medicine directly into his anus. The first time was absolute hell, my cat fought me the whole time but once the tube was in and the medicine pushed out he seemed to calm quite a bit. Well the next day he was acting strange, he has always been an independent cat, rarely coming around, never wanting to be held, but as I sat on the couch he started walking back and forth meowing and rubbing my leg. He then went and jumped up on the table where we’d done the application the night before and meowed louder and louder until I decided I guess we will go ahead and do the medicine treatment. This time he didn’t fight me though, and when I inserted the tube he closed his eyes, stretched his neck, and let out a noise that can only be described as a moan of pure ecstasy. Maybe the medicine made him feel better, I supposed. That night he slept on my bed curled up right next to me, which he had never done before. For the next week he’d do the same thing every day, meow on the table until he got his ‘fix’... But then the medicine ran out. Even though I had no medicine he’d still cry and beg for it, I thought maybe if I insert it without medicine he will realize it doesn’t make him feel better anymore and forget about it. Well that was 2 weeks ago and he is only getting worse. He walks around me all day with his tail up presenting his rectum and trying to entice me. He is demanding insertions more and more often. Yesterday I caught him looking longingly at the turkey baster... When I sit he jumps in my lap purring and rubbing me affectionately. It was then in horror I realized my cat thinks I’m his gay lover, and that I’ve been sexually pleasing him for weeks now. Needless to say the sexual tension between us is palpable. How do I let my cat know that I’m not gay, but still like him as a friend?

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Originally posted by agu:

I don't think they've found a cure yet, you might have to euthanize him.

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Showing 1-11 of 11 comments

Abaddon the Despoiler Jan 28 @ 11:18am

Originally posted by trullzlul:
How do I let my cat know that I’m not gay,

The animals know, you can't fool them.

Last edited by Abaddon the Despoiler; Jan 28 @ 11:19am

The author of this thread has indicated that this post answers the original topic.

agu Jan 28 @ 11:25am

I don't think they've found a cure yet, you might have to euthanize him.

ْSmoke™ Jan 28 @ 11:27am

damn man you expect people to read this article.

lailaamell Jan 28 @ 11:28am

oh my how dumb is this guy

Last edited by lailaamell; Jan 28 @ 11:28am

£ Jan 28 @ 11:29am

Did your cat eat your enter key?

trullzlul Jan 28 @ 12:55pm

Originally posted by Vx:
Did your cat eat your enter key?

No, it went in the other hole 😢

PaulKrawitz Jan 28 @ 12:58pm

What... in the... by the goddess... 😐

I regret having been in this thread.

Last edited by PaulKrawitz; Jan 28 @ 12:58pm

SapphireSong Jan 28 @ 1:28pm

thank u for the laugh, rly made my day
i wish u and ur future husband a happy life together

WarHeRo Jan 28 @ 1:33pm

Originally posted by PaulKrawitz:
What... in the... by the goddess... 😐

I regret having been in this thread.

ask OP to check ur toy collection

trullzlul Jan 28 @ 3:40pm

Originally posted by WarHeRo:
Originally posted by PaulKrawitz:
What... in the... by the goddess... 😐

I regret having been in this thread.
ask OP to check ur toy collection

I just looked at their link tree