Dodo 18 FEB a las 17:12
Will i ever get married or get a girlfriend?
I am 16, and just got diagnosed with stage 1 aspergers, i spoke to 6 girld and went out with 1 so far but my Aspergers is getting worse by the years and because of this, i isolate myself and no longer can speak or go out with girls like i used to when i was young. Is it over for me?
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Mostrando 46-55 de 55 comentarios
天使マナ 21 FEB a las 20:42 
not with that attitude.
Emurinus 21 FEB a las 21:23 
Publicado originalmente por 케이 vancia:
Publicado originalmente por Dodo:
I am 16, and just got diagnosed with stage 1 aspergers, i spoke to 6 girld and went out with 1 so far but my Aspergers is getting worse by the years and because of this, i isolate myself and no longer can speak or go out with girls like i used to when i was young. Is it over for me?
What does this disease does? I never heard about this one.
It's high functioning autism. Generally you still have a good level of independence, but you often have troubles with social/emotional cues and don't respond as well to change. I have it myself and it feels like a curse more often than not.


Publicado originalmente por Dodo:
Do you guys suggest I just sit and wait, if jt happens then god meant it to happen and if it doesnt well too bad? I will always expect the worse, but one thing, why do some of yoy think om trolling? Like im not trolling im really a 16yk with Aspergers struggling with stuff like this
I wouldn't worry about dating until college or even later. Give yourself more focus until your life is more stable.
Publicado originalmente por Dodo:
Will i ever get married or get a girlfriend?
I am 16, ...
lol, getting some real Burgerpants vibes from this, like quote :
* You've still got time. * Don't live like me. * I'm 19 years old and I've already wasted my entire life.

Publicado originalmente por Dodo:
But does me having aspergers stage 1 stop me from getting a wife and kids when I become older? Or ever even get a girlfriend in my life?
Have you even been diagnosed?
As far as I'm aware, it's really really difficult to get a diagnosis at a young age (like around 5 and such) especially if you're actually stage 1, and not just like stage 2 but good at masking.

They don't use the diagnosis "aspergers" in the USA / DSM anymore, just autism spectrum disorder, so if you are actually diagnosed as such then you were diagnosed quite young...
It hasn't been "aspergers" for at least 10 years.

Anyways, autistic people are wired differently and communicate differently - people from very far apart places on the spectrum will still have problems with each other but generally speaking, autistic people understand other autistic people better than autistic & neurotypical people understand each other.

There's plenty of autistic women in the world, and as long as you can respect their boundaries, maybe you'll have the same sensory interests, such as cuddling with plushies, playing with spinny-light toys, and hanging out in or doing your work in dimly lit rooms.

Publicado originalmente por Dodo:
... i spoke to 6 girld and went out with 1 so far ...
You went out with ONE?!
Do you know how far ahead you are of many autistic people twice your age?! lol

Publicado originalmente por Dodo:
... Is it over for me?
Are you going to die of cancer next week or something?

Publicado originalmente por Arvaos:
... Don't worry or obsess over funding a girlfriend ...
I think she can fund herself. :P
I'm willing to clean up after her, and occasionally give gifts, but I'm not a bank or ATM.

...and unfortunately for me, life hasn't worked out so that I could even be a bank or ATM if I wanted to be ...but I don't want to.
Última edición por Kiddiec͕̤̱͋̿͑͠at 🃏; 22 FEB a las 0:33
Yungplague 21 FEB a las 23:49 
It’s over boyo, it’s okay though you’re Definitely not alone in this.
Publicado originalmente por Schrobes:
Publicado originalmente por 케이 vancia:
What does this disease does? I never heard about this one.
Aspergers isn't a disease. it's a Mental Disorder. It isn't anything too complicated but it does have a detrimental effect on Social Discourse.
Depends on your definition of complicated...
Publicado originalmente por 케이 vancia:
...
What does this disease does? I never heard about this one.
It's a disorder, not a disease. It's not contagious and it's also something you're born with - you don't get it from a diet or drug or anything. Some research suggests that it may be a result of mothers being exposed to pollution during pregnancy but the results are inconclusive, last I read about this.

I think the channel, "I'm Autistic, Now What?" on YouTube does a pretty good job of explaining it (at least in the videos that are actually explaining it rather than criticizing celebrities), although, I assure you, that's not where I got most of my information about it.

Neuropsychologists may claim that talents which one has are not part of the condition, but it entails a completely different wiring of the brain, so it's not unrealistic to think that some talents may emerge as a result of that, in addition to the disabling factors.

Some of the common disabling factors are :

(I'd just like to extra-emphasize that these are common, not universal - the exact nature of the condition varies from person to person; many "on the spectrum" share these symptoms, though. Hopefully I've made that super clear.)

- extra difficulties with communication,

- being drawn to or focusing on different patterns than the ones that they're expected to,

- difficulty expressing the emotions that they're actually feeling, usually failing to actually express what they're feeling at all and not even realizing it,

- hypersensitivity of both emotions and the 5 main senses (and other senses too, such as temperature awareness); autistic people often actually feel emotions deeper than they're supposed to (or at least deeper than other people do) even though they're usually not expressing what they're feeling. Additionally, they'll probably be easily overwhelmed or hurt by sounds, smells, or bright-lights, but sometimes it works in different directions and they either really really like some specific smell or bright lights, and for some of them, they actually they're actually hyposensitive to some of these things instead of hypersensitive.

(Hyposensitive is the opposite of hypersensitive. Hyposensitive means that someone is pretty close to unaffected by something at all, and may even lack awareness of it.)
iirc, there's an NIH study talking about the hypersensitivity and hyposensitivity, with some actual data. iiirc, hypersensitivity is far more common than hyposensitivity, especially among autistic women.

- they might be long-winded and detail oriented. This will often be mistaken for being angry and argumentative when it's usually just coming from a place of passion, and being detail oriented, and sometimes just being kind of bad at communicating succinctly.

- they have a bunch of behavioral quirks, most of which they won't even realize they're doing until it is pointed out to them, even if it has been pointed out to them before, and this very very unfortunately leads to visible indicators that makes it so that others are more likely to discriminate against them, and most of the time (especially if they didn't get non-abusive ABA therapy at a young age) there's nothing that they can do to stop this from happening other than to just hide away from the rest of the world in order to protect themselves.
(The heil isn't one of the behavioral quirks, especially when it is done twice and followed up with Nazi jokes the next day.)
(Autistic people are capable of making intentional actions, in addition to their unintentional behaviors. The unintentional behaviors tend to be things like rocking back and forth or swaying quite significantly while standing or sitting, hand flapping, unusual blinking when uncomfortable, among other things.)

Publicado originalmente por Dodo:
Do you guys suggest I just sit and wait, ...
Well, that's certainly safer than approaching them and risking getting false accusations, which is at least slightly more likely with autism, since there's plenty of women in the world who will use this as a basis for discrimination.

One of the things you can do if you don't mind more assertive, outgoing, women, is to try and put yourself in places that would have women that are more likely to ask you out instead of the other way around. ...but uhh... that's still kind of rare because society conditions them to be submissive and wait for men to ask them.

...but according to you, you've already gone out with one, so... you should probably just keep doing what you've been doing and you'll probably be fine.

Publicado originalmente por Pocahawtness:
... I would advise you to spend some time really, deeply, thinking about what you want out of relationships, ...
:steamthis: This is good advice. Even if you're absolutely sure that you want a relationship, there's a lot you can do to prepare by considering what your expectations and preferences are, and that will help you find a stable and lasting one more easily (unless you'd rather just have a bunch of flings or hookups but even there it will be helpful to know what you're expecting / wanting).

I disagree with what she said about short-term relationships, though.
You should seek short-term relationships if short-term relationships are what you'd prefer to have.

Autistic people shouldn't be limited / relegated to only short-term relationships.
Most people are bad at communication, it's just that autistic people struggle a lot more when communicating with others, especially with neurotypical people - this is something you can practice and if you get actually good ABA therapy, and not the historically bad kind, then such a program will try to teach you people oriented skills. The point of the dolls exercise is not supposed to be to teach you how you're supposed to play (although if the therapy is bad then they'll do it that way) but rather, it's supposed to teach you how to communicate with others more effectively.
Última edición por Kiddiec͕̤̱͋̿͑͠at 🃏; 22 FEB a las 4:43
Looks like someone is going to use the last resort of booking a flight to South East Asia.
"Aspergers Syndrome" is outdated terminology, you should not even know this word at your age because it is that old in medical terminology (which is incorrect). :badluck:

The correct terminology in this modern world today is, "High-functioning Autism (HFA)". :csd2smile:

Hobbies are much needed but sometimes, antisocial behavior can be crippling; however, HFA can also benefit you by correcting the focus towards education than partying (which the latter gets you nowhere in life).

The trick is to keep your mind busy with anything, although it is best to work on yourself (and your own future) than to play countless games all day long.

Surround yourself with good people and disregard the bad people and you will be fine (but coming onto OT is not a great start to find those said good people). :yetuhappy:

Keep your head up and your stick on the ice. :chirp:
Última edición por Phénomènes Mystiques; 22 FEB a las 4:16
Publicado originalmente por WinterSorrow:
... antisocial behavior can be crippling; ...
Since we're talking about autism, I believe you mean asocial behavior.

Anti-social behavior entails doing things that are directly opposed to being social (getting into fights and destroying things that people share).

Asocial behavior, on the other hand, entails being withdrawn and reserved / alone.

iirc, someone with autism can have anti-social behavior, but it's rather uncommon, but asocial behavior on the other hand is very common for the condition, in part because autistic people often WANT to be alone (temporarily often for the person, not permanently often for the demographic) whether it be because they want to focus on a special interest or because they're just overwhelmed and need some along time.

It's a bit different than being introverted but is highly similar ...although, being introverted is also apparently misunderstood (I also mix it up sometimes) - being introverted seems to entail people who find social interaction emotionally and mentally draining, which is what an autistic person will be feeling if they're overwhelmed.
Publicado originalmente por Kiddiec͕̤̱͋̿͑͠at 🃏:
...being introverted seems to entail people who find social interaction emotionally and mentally draining, which is what an autistic person will be feeling if they're overwhelmed.
Yes. :csdsmile:
Publicado originalmente por Dodo:
and no longer can speak or go out with girls like i used to when i was young. Is it over for me?
tf do you mean "when I was young" you're 16 brother 😭, getting more anxious around girls as you hit puberty is perfectly normal, you're just a kid going through major hormonal changes
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Publicado el: 18 FEB a las 17:12
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