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You don't have to like "pay to win" games; I don't either. But there are free games that aren't like that, and they certainly don't deserve to be looked down on because some other developers have made games you don't approve of. The generalising is unhelpful; just don't play the games you don't like.
I never did anything multiplayer, though. I solo-ed through the games, which means no peer-pressure and no need to be "better" than the other guy.
I like to BUY my games, and then Play them so that I may get better with others that do the same thing.
It's like the US Presidential election with those things. You may not be the best guy for the job, but if you spend enough, you will still win.
Those aren't games in the video game sense, more of a metagame about who can spend the most money and get the publisher rich.
Now, I've been playing a lot of Loadout lately, which narrows the real money transactions down to purely consmetic stuff, so those that don't pay are not really at a disatvantage.
Because playing =/= winning.
Free to play means Free to play. No one promised anyone of winning.
I'm not saying there aren't tendencies to give advantages to people who pay. But the developers/publishers can't just do it to any full extend without getting stomped by their communities. And so this whole "P2W" issue is not as bad as some make it look like. I don't know any genuine P2W title where your success is granted by the things you buy. Skill and teamplay often matter more. If two equally skilled guys or teams face each other the one with the better gear will probably win, but you will never see 100 % equal skills so it's kinda silly arguing that way.