I think my girlfriend is cheating on me and I don't know how to ask.

[SQUIID]

Let me rephrase, because I have told my girlfriend these feelings that I have a couple of times now.

I have been with my girlfriend for a year now, but we've known each other for about 2 years, for the last couple months maybe about 6 months i will say i have had doubt about her "love" for me and believe she is hiding something from me.

I have told her many times that I feel like something is going on behind my back, or I would simply ask if she still "loves" me and want's to continue to be with me, she always says yes and that she "doesn't want anyone else" and that no one can compare to me.

I have gone through her phone once, I did this behind her back because I didn't want her to know I was going to go through her phone, I didn't know I would either, we woke up one morning and she left the room and i'm not sure why but I woke up in a bad mood and felt sad or mad or confused about something, I don't know what, so I went through the phone but didn't notice anything suspicious, BUT she told me before about this guy named allen, which she used to do stuff with and I went on her snapchat and saw this one guy named frozone or something weird, no name of him anywhere, I went through the chats and see that they hung out before, and he texts her goodnight and stuff but in a more friendly way, not in a way that seems like they are simply just normal friends.

She told me she doesn't talk to anyone she used to talk to and I don't know what this frozone guys name is but I can only make an assumption because she tells me i'm not allowed to talk to anyone I did before her *girl* ofc and I say okay i respect that and I believe that's how it should be in a relationship anyway, I told her I wouldn't feel comfortable with it either and that would be breaking for me and the relationship or trust for me with her, I went on her instagram the same morning while she was gone and went to her following and saw some guy named frozone or whatever and his name on there appears as "Big Al" and tell me if i'm, crazy or not but I don't know any "Al" that she knows, unless ofc he uses it short for "allen".

I have not mentioned any of this and i'm also scared to do so, because maybe she will find this disrespectful that I went through her phone and will try to make herself seem like the victim, because she be asking me if I'M CHEATING and i always tell her you have my passcode, go through my phone whenever you want, BTW I'M NOT CHEATING AND NEVER HAVE.

When I Ask her stuff like this though she tends to say to me *Are you sure you're not talking to anyone else because you know what they say the accuser is always the one doing shady ♥♥♥♥ man I swear" no literally, she said that to me 20 minutes ago because I asked her a similar question to what i'm feeling right now.

Maybe i'm crazy, maybe i'm stupid or maybe i'm just overthinking, because I can be pretty good at that, but i'm scared to ask my girlfriend about this guy for one, and two I don't know if or how I can make sure she's being loyal to me, because I don't want her to think i'm insecure, or controlling, in this situation, what should I do? and how?

ALSO ONE THING TO NOTE, SHE HAS TOLD ME BEFORE IF YOU THINK I'M CHEATING THEN GO THROUGH MY PHONE SO YOU SEE I'M NOT TALKING TO ANYONE ELSE. but that doesn't mean she can't just simply delete stuff..

also a few months back I noticed on her phone *before I went through it fully for the first time* some random unsaved number was texting her and she replied "it's been 2 years bro" and the person replied "ok my bad I wont bother you no more" I don't know if this flew over my head, or if i'm stupid and letting all this happen to me, should I run? should I confront and if everything is good then just stay? idk..

[Alliesaurus]

Frankie の投稿を引用：

Who cares it's better than most 'serious' threads :-)

In what way? It's just the same bait with different words in place. It's also a pure book.

[Ȼħⱥꞥꞥēł8753452]

TC you need to get out of there! The mole-people have taken her and put a doppelganger in her place!

Run! Run while you still can!!

[Frankie]

sausage roll の投稿を引用：

Frankie の投稿を引用：

Who cares it's better than most 'serious' threads :-)

In what way? It's just the same bait with different words in place. It's also a pure book.

In the way that some troll threads are more interesting than supposed 'serious threads'

Not sure I should need to repeat it but please try to understand what I said and not what you think I said.

[Alliesaurus]

Frankie の投稿を引用：

sausage roll の投稿を引用：

In what way? It's just the same bait with different words in place. It's also a pure book.

In the way that some troll threads are more interesting than supposed 'serious threads'

Not sure I should need to repeat it but please try.

Some people find trivial interesting? Thanks, I never would have thought.

[Frankie]

All I was saying is I thought you had misinterpreted my post and replied 'off the mark :-)

And I still do. No need to get arsey dude

[Bunnei Bealla]

tmwfte の投稿を引用：

Twist: She's not real. And OP is having a relationship with a cold breeze.

plot twist: he's cheating on his right hand with his left hand
uwu

[Evil Masses]

Next time one of you brings it up, offer to show her your conversation history in return for her showing you yours. If you and she truly have nothing to hide, then neither of you should care and she'll share it with you.

Either that or she's an exceptionally clever liar and she'd share it with you because she's 5 steps ahead of you.

Honestly, though, I know how maddening it can be, but don't assume until you've seen something more concrete. Jealousy can be a poison on the rational mind, and only cruel people would take advantage of that.

Just don't go following any guys around without proof of an affair because that's how you look stupid and creepy.

A lot of people would see asking as a sleight because they'd perceive it as not trusting them or they'd just get mad. But any decent person would share for the sake of proving their good intentions, assuming they have nothing to hide. It is technically true they don't have to share. I'd personally see it as a mild red flag if you or her wouldn't share, it'd be up to you if it's forgivable or not. If they have nothing to hide they have no reason to say no or maneuver around.

I have never personally cheated on any man I've ever dated.

[brain stew]

Frozone sounds like the kinda guy that doesn't even kiss when layin' da pipe...

[Evil Masses]

tmwfte の投稿を引用：

Twist: She's not real. And OP is having a relationship with a cold breeze.

Seems a bit rude to assume it's fake.

[Lilly]

Reddit posts bees like.

[A&A]

Go and ask the Allen guy.
He knows better.

[Fake]

Does she goes out on girls night or take girls trips?

[Evil Masses]

NoRain :( 🗕 🗗 🗙 の投稿を引用：

Squiid の投稿を引用：

Let me rephrase, because I have told my girlfriend these feelings that I have a couple of times now.

I have been with my girlfriend for a year now, but we've known each other for about 2 years, for the last couple months maybe about 6 months i will say i have had doubt about her "love" for me and believe she is hiding something from me.

I have told her many times that I feel like something is going on behind my back, or I would simply ask if she still "loves" me and want's to continue to be with me, she always says yes and that she "doesn't want anyone else" and that no one can compare to me.

I have gone through her phone once, I did this behind her back because I didn't want her to know I was going to go through her phone, I didn't know I would either, we woke up one morning and she left the room and i'm not sure why but I woke up in a bad mood and felt sad or mad or confused about something, I don't know what, so I went through the phone but didn't notice anything suspicious, BUT she told me before about this guy named allen, which she used to do stuff with and I went on her snapchat and saw this one guy named frozone or something weird, no name of him anywhere, I went through the chats and see that they hung out before, and he texts her goodnight and stuff but in a more friendly way, not in a way that seems like they are simply just normal friends.

She told me she doesn't talk to anyone she used to talk to and I don't know what this frozone guys name is but I can only make an assumption because she tells me i'm not allowed to talk to anyone I did before her *girl* ofc and I say okay i respect that and I believe that's how it should be in a relationship anyway, I told her I wouldn't feel comfortable with it either and that would be breaking for me and the relationship or trust for me with her, I went on her instagram the same morning while she was gone and went to her following and saw some guy named frozone or whatever and his name on there appears as "Big Al" and tell me if i'm, crazy or not but I don't know any "Al" that she knows, unless ofc he uses it short for "allen".

I have not mentioned any of this and i'm also scared to do so, because maybe she will find this disrespectful that I went through her phone and will try to make herself seem like the victim, because she be asking me if I'M CHEATING and i always tell her you have my passcode, go through my phone whenever you want, BTW I'M NOT CHEATING AND NEVER HAVE.

When I Ask her stuff like this though she tends to say to me *Are you sure you're not talking to anyone else because you know what they say the accuser is always the one doing shady ♥♥♥♥ man I swear" no literally, she said that to me 20 minutes ago because I asked her a similar question to what i'm feeling right now.

Maybe i'm crazy, maybe i'm stupid or maybe i'm just overthinking, because I can be pretty good at that, but i'm scared to ask my girlfriend about this guy for one, and two I don't know if or how I can make sure she's being loyal to me, because I don't want her to think i'm insecure, or controlling, in this situation, what should I do? and how?

ALSO ONE THING TO NOTE, SHE HAS TOLD ME BEFORE IF YOU THINK I'M CHEATING THEN GO THROUGH MY PHONE SO YOU SEE I'M NOT TALKING TO ANYONE ELSE. but that doesn't mean she can't just simply delete stuff..

also a few months back I noticed on her phone *before I went through it fully for the first time* some random unsaved number was texting her and she replied "it's been 2 years bro" and the person replied "ok my bad I wont bother you no more" I don't know if this flew over my head, or if i'm stupid and letting all this happen to me, should I run? should I confront and if everything is good then just stay? idk..

Neither of you sound healthy, and if you had any sort of foundational trust, you'd be fine going through each other's phones together. The fact that you did it in secret only tells me that you guys are terrible at communicating. Bad communication will always lead to a bad relationship in ANY context.

Take a break, or have a conversation about trust. Admit that you undoubtedly ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up by violating their trust and using their phone without their knowledge or consent. If they break up with you then and there, you deserve it because you breached trust. If she wants to continue, you work on ways to be open and communicative. Otherwise, as I said before, take a break. Neither of you sound like you're in a good head-space

How often has this worked for you?

[R-S!N]

just a "girlfriend".

yup, be thankful you didn't marry her and/or have kids.

[Evil Masses]

xDDD の投稿を引用：

OP I gotta be honest, if she isn't cheating then your actions are going to push her to cheating. Or maybe just outright leaving you. Insecurity is not a good look.

Is she cheating? Who knows. The only thing I could conclude from your story is that Al is still around in some regard. Does that mean she is cheating? Not necessarily. It's definitely a red flag if she is still talking with her ex, but you shouldn't assume the worse or accuse her. If anything, you should step up your own game so she gets over that loser.

If you really need a bit of closure, which it does seem like you desire that, wait for an instance where Frozone pops up on her phone when you happen to be looking and then make a joke about her texting superheroes or liking dudes in tights or something.

But for crying out loud man stop accusing her of cheating unless you have solid evidence. Not only will it upset her and make you look insecure, but also if you keep doing that or thinking this way you will literally manifest it into reality.


P.S. I definitely wouldn't worry about that last "2 years" note. That is probably just some rejected/formerly-friendzoned dude hitting her up or something.

Only a moron would cheat because their girlfriend or boyfriend is insecure. How the f you expect to last longer than 2 months with someone you can't even be understanding with and comfort? Secure people just break up, not cheat. So, no, being insecure doesn't do that for people who have any level of maturity. If a person cheats because of that they likely already wanted to and it's just the excuse they use to blame others for why they are incapbale of loyalty.