Where would one find a "shy" person?

[Kestrel]

I see a lot of self-professed shy people complain about not being able to meet other people. But how would one go about encountering one of these people in their natural habitats?

I have a few guesses of their most likely locations (aside from home and their jobs):
1. College (Self explanatory, only the younger ones)
2. Game/hobby stores (because they are usually nerdy)
3. Walking their dogs (or themselves)
4. Gym (for some)
5. Library (maybe)
6. Steam Discussions

Any ideas on the best way to capture talk to a shy person to force entice them into friendship?

[Shiro♌]

Oh, that's easy.

You do need to be comfortable enough around the person to make them feel comfortable around you aswell.
I wouldn't call myself a shy person, but heading outside generally stresses me out a lot, and that's all the more intensified the more responsibilities are placed onto me.
Some people would call me shy, but I think that a shy person is trying a lot more to avoid socialization, whereas I do seek it.

Your guesses, regarding the places, are mostly correct.

If there's something that I find absolutely comfortable, it's being on the same wavelength.
That's a bit vague term, but it's more or less about having the same or related experiences allowing me to understand the other person a lot better and vice-versa, sometimes even coming up with similar thoughts and the thought processing, too.

[Phénomènes Mystiques]

Nguyên văn bởi Kestrel:

Where would one find a "shy" person?

Your local tavern, sitting in the corner alone writing in a notebook or on a laptop.

[steven1mac]

Church, Hiking Trails, Fishing, Paddling on lakes or Rrvers, Off Topic, Golfing.

[𝕎𝔸𝕃𝕋𝔼ℝ]

https://youtu.be/WtR2m20C2YM?si=HIPffslTbxHjq4uH

[Phénomènes Mystiques]

Nguyên văn bởi 𝕎𝔸𝕃𝕋𝔼ℝ:

https://youtu.be/WtR2m20C2YM?si=HIPffslTbxHjq4uH

Since 1984, they no longer allow inexperienced or "rookie" ninjas at the parade.

[Siluva]

Nguyên văn bởi Kestrel:

Any ideas on the best way to capture talk to a shy person to force entice them into friendship?

You can't.

[Phénomènes Mystiques]

Nguyên văn bởi Siluva:

Nguyên văn bởi Kestrel:

Any ideas on the best way to capture talk to a shy person to force entice them into friendship?

You can't.

You can but you need to be on their level.

[Tonepoet]

Finding a genuinely shy person is difficult by nature because they prefer to avoid other people by definition. You're likely only going to find them when they're cornered in situations where they're forced to be around other people, like it or not.

It's probably too late for you to meet a shy person your own age. You meet shy people mostly while you're still in grade school, largely because the compulsory education system forces people to be there even when they'd rather not. College is optional and filled with rambunctious young adults, so a particularly shy person seems likely to abandon ship on the educational system.

I'd feel like a shy person is more likely to keep one of any number of pets that can be kept indoors for their entire lives. Cats, hamsters, birds, fish, gerbils, mice. Dogs are more extroverted and appeal more to extroverted people.

Being nerdy isn't shy. If anything it's generally considered a mildly repulsive trait. The nerds aren't shying away from society. They've been outcast from it. That's a pretty huge difference.

It's kind of hard to ignore that you can easily have a home gym, and don't even technically need exercise equipment to exercise. People who're going to the gym are more likely to want a workout buddy if anything. Kind of not particularly shy in my opinion.

The library is a bit more likely because you need to get reading material somewhere, and the library offers it for free, but the shy person in the library is the sort of person who is more likely to borrow the books and take them home than stick around. Also, this likely doesn't work as well in the modern era where most people have access to an internet connection which gives them broad access to reading material.

Internet forums are probably the worst place to try and find a genuinely shy person. Whether we'd admit it or not, we all reaching out to other people for some form of social interaction. That's antithetical to shyness. Granted, there's possibly a specturm of shyness, but the most shy people are likely to be lurkers anyway, so you would never even detect their presence.

Your best bet at meeting a shy person as an adult is to luck out on finding a shy co-worker, largely for the same principle reason that people are generally forced to sustain themselves somehow and end up cornered in the work place, whether they'd like to be there or not. However, there are two very significant reasons why this is much harder than meeting a shy person in school.

The first is that your pool of co-workers is likely to be smaller than the number of fellow grade schoolers, meaning that you're less likely to meet any particular sort of person in general. The second is that shyness is a trait that most people try to overcome both because it feels bad and because it creates life difficulties, so somebody who might have been shy as a child may have emboldened themselves by the time they became an adult, making shy adults proportionately rarer than shy children.

I'd guess that your best bet is probably to take up temp. jobs in office buildings. Preferably ones with cubicles. That way you're meeting a high volume of people who are forced into a quasi-public setting who are offered some semblance of privacy.

I imagine another type of job that'd likely put yourself into contact with shy people is food delivery. A shy person might order food to avoid going out in public on occasion. It doesn't seem like a very good way to make friends though since you're just supposed to hand off the food and go, without much opportunity to strike up a conversation.

Another good place to meet shy people might be a church. Since it's sinful not to attend church, a particularly pious person might feel compelled to attend church during the sabbath in spite of not wanting to be around very many people.

The grocery store might be another such place since everybody needs to eat, most people aren't independent enough to farm their own food, and ordering out all of the time is expensive enough to be unsustainable.

However, part of the problem with many of these settings is that a shy person will shy away from you if given the opportunity, so you not only need to find one but find one in an environment where they need to stick around long enough for you to stand a chance of actually befriending them.

Church isn't good for that because while they're stuck during mass, you can't disrupt the sermon just to strike up conversation with the shy person siting in the corner and they're going to leave the premises pretty much as soon as the sermon is over. The grocery store can be evacuated until the weirdo trying to strike up a conversation goes away.

The only thing I can think of at the moment is the work environment, so yeah, I think you're going to need to take up some part time temp. jobs in office buildings where people are forced to cooperate with others in group projects from time to time.

It's better if you're higher up the hierarchy for at least a couple of reasons.

The first is that obviously it's the hardest to avoid your immediate superiors in a workplace situation. You'll be leading group assignments, getting papers handed into you, giving feedback, et cetera. The second is that if you can be afforded your own private office you can offer a shy cubicle worker refuge.

Finding a shy person is only half the battle though. The other half is actually befriending them. The crux of the issue is that you're never going to befriend a shy person by forcing yourself on them. You'll scare them away like a frightened bird doing that. You have to work yourself into the situations where they must naturally interact, and hope that they start to warm up to you, which by the way, isn't even something that's necessarily guaranteed to happen even if you find yourself in the proximity of a shy person. It's against their nature to warm up to people, and the sort of person who would want to reach out to them is also possibly the type of person they would fear most.

[Uncle Sam]

Nguyên văn bởi Tonepoet:

Finding a genuinely shy person is difficult by nature because they prefer to avoid other people by definition. You're likely only going to find them when they're cornered in situations where they're forced to be around other people, like it or not.

It's probably too late for you to meet a shy person your own age. You meet shy people mostly while you're still in grade school, largely because the compulsory education system forces people to be there even when they'd rather not. College is optional and filled with rambunctious young adults, so a particularly shy person seems likely to abandon ship on the educational system.

I'd feel like a shy person is more likely to keep one of any number of pets that can be kept indoors for their entire lives. Cats, hamsters, birds, fish, gerbils, mice. Dogs are more extroverted and appeal more to extroverted people.

Being nerdy isn't shy. If anything it's generally considered a mildly repulsive trait. The nerds aren't shying away from society. They've been outcast from it. That's a pretty huge difference.

It's kind of hard to ignore that you can easily have a home gym, and don't even technically need exercise equipment to exercise. People who're going to the gym are more likely to want a workout buddy if anything. Kind of not particularly shy in my opinion.

The library is a bit more likely because you need to get reading material somewhere, and the library offers it for free, but the shy person in the library is the sort of person who is more likely to borrow the books and take them home than stick around. Also, this likely doesn't work as well in the modern era where most people have access to an internet connection which gives them broad access to reading material.

Internet forums are probably the worst place to try and find a genuinely shy person. Whether we'd admit it or not, we all reaching out to other people for some form of social interaction. That's antithetical to shyness. Granted, there's possibly a specturm of shyness, but the most shy people are likely to be lurkers anyway, so you would never even detect their presence.

Your best bet at meeting a shy person as an adult is to luck out on finding a shy co-worker, largely for the same principle reason that people are generally forced to sustain themselves somehow and end up cornered in the work place, whether they'd like to be there or not. However, there are two very significant reasons why this is much harder than meeting a shy person in school.

The first is that your pool of co-workers is likely to be smaller than the number of fellow grade schoolers, meaning that you're less likely to meet any particular sort of person in general. The second is that shyness is a trait that most people try to overcome both because it feels bad and because it creates life difficulties, so somebody who might have been shy as a child may have emboldened themselves by the time they became an adult, making shy adults proportionately rarer than shy children.

I'd guess that your best bet is probably to take up temp. jobs in office buildings. Preferably ones with cubicles. That way you're meeting a high volume of people who are forced into a quasi-public setting who are offered some semblance of privacy.

I imagine another type of job that'd likely put yourself into contact with shy people is food delivery. A shy person might order food to avoid going out in public on occasion. It doesn't seem like a very good way to make friends though since you're just supposed to hand off the food and go, without much opportunity to strike up a conversation.

Another good place to meet shy people might be a church. Since it's sinful not to attend church, a particularly pious person might feel compelled to attend church during the sabbath in spite of not wanting to be around very many people.

The grocery store might be another such place since everybody needs to eat, most people aren't independent enough to farm their own food, and ordering out all of the time is expensive enough to be unsustainable.

However, part of the problem with many of these settings is that a shy person will shy away from you if given the opportunity, so you not only need to find one but find one in an environment where they need to stick around long enough for you to stand a chance of actually befriending them.

Church isn't good for that because while they're stuck during mass, you can't disrupt the sermon just to strike up conversation with the shy person siting in the corner and they're going to leave the premises pretty much as soon as the sermon is over. The grocery store can be evacuated until the weirdo trying to strike up a conversation goes away.

The only thing I can think of at the moment is the work environment, so yeah, I think you're going to need to take up some part time temp. jobs in office buildings where people are forced to cooperate with others in group projects from time to time.

It's better if you're higher up the hierarchy for at least a couple of reasons.

The first is that obviously it's the hardest to avoid your immediate superiors in a workplace situation. You'll be leading group assignments, getting papers handed into you, giving feedback, et cetera. The second is that if you can be afforded your own private office you can offer a shy cubicle worker refuge.

Finding a shy person is only half the battle though. The other half is actually befriending them. The crux of the issue is that you're never going to befriend a shy person by forcing yourself on them. You'll scare them away like a frightened bird doing that. You have to work yourself into the situations where they must naturally interact, and hope that they start to warm up to you, which by the way, isn't even something that's necessarily guaranteed to happen even if you find yourself in the proximity of a shy person. It's against their nature to warm up to people, and the sort of person who would want to reach out to them is also possibly the type of person they would fear most.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ntPN3v0dTI

[videomike_Ultimate_Plushie]

if I might be a bit nosy, is there a point to this question?

[Felonious Punk]

Nguyên văn bởi videomike_Ultimate_Plushie:

if I might be a bit nosy, is there a point to this question?

I'd like to ask the same of yours.

[Shiro♌]

Nguyên văn bởi videomike_Ultimate_Plushie:

if I might be a bit nosy, is there a point to this question?

Yes, of course.
The curiosity, the genuine interest in knowing more sounds just fine to me.

[Uncle Sam]

Nguyên văn bởi Kestrel:

Nguyên văn bởi BuniBealla:

I've come to the conclusion smol cute gamer girlfriends are not attractive to guy gamers uwu

this is a tragedy. they don't know what they are missing. SMH...

That reminds me of an old spanish lyrics song back to the 50's
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E82nc_sU85M
This video has the english subtitles.

[Kobs]

In a shy person convention

[Electric Cupcake]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoNBT8lY1-I