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Looking back should have said screw it and gone for it. - in that particular thing.
i do believe u r confusing it with one sided love or obsession
I watched Excalibur the film a lot growing up and it heavily influenced some of my values which naturally interconnect with the rest.
The betrayal of Guinevere and Lancelot to Arthur and the fall out / repercussions.
Being able to look back at what happened to things anyway the dynamics of the people including myself.
ie it was not going to last anyway. They had little concept of loyalty to anybody anyway as things turned out.
So one would have had an affair with a very attractive friend she was hot.
is that a thing irl?