Modern Dating, what is it exactly men who aren't 8+ supposed to do? (Venting)

[KingAce]

Below average middle age guy... am I just meant to go die in a ditch? Tinder is a meat market for hook ups for the good looking, Legit dating sites are full of bots and only fans thots... so... what exactly am I supposed to do? hope I live long enough to see Blade runner and Joi become reality? super exciting I may one day get to buy a super expensive hologram that will tell me what I want to hear... Society really ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up. I hate this.

[Arvaos]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Arvaos:

Try bumble.

It's better than tinder.

The ladies on there are serious.

Tried, never got a single message in 3 months of premium. same for Tinder, minus got like two messages, and one awful date.

That's a sign you have to work on yourself.

Try professional photos by a modelling agency and a stylist.

[Commander Makara]

Definition of workaholic isn't someone who is addicted to work or enjoys it a lot or does it more than necesssary.

Etymologically rooted as with 'alcoholic' in which the subject (( alcohol, work or whatever )) becomes so prioritised and a focal point to the detriment of other areas of life and wellbeing. Many people get this wrong.

If you truly enjoy and are passionate about your job, that's not necessarily making you workaholic.

[Lilim]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

shame I was born hetero huh

Get a femboy boyfriend .

[WarHeRo]

Początkowo opublikowane przez Commander Makara:

Definition of workaholic isn't someone who is addicted to work or enjoys it a lot or does it more than necesssary.

Etymologically rooted as with 'alcoholic' in which the subject (( alcohol, work or whatever )) becomes so prioritised and a focal point to the detriment of other areas of life and wellbeing. Many people get this wrong.

If you truly enjoy and are passionate about your job, that's not necessarily making you workaholic.

ya we already had the definition. but thx again

[WarHeRo]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Lilim:

Get a femboy boyfriend :tamaki_wink:.

hard pass

arent u attracted to femininity if u r hetero? fembois are quite feminine. so isnt that straight?

[WarHeRo]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

Początkowo opublikowane przez WarHeRo:

arent u attracted to femininity if u r hetero? fembois are quite feminine. so isnt that straight?

I'm gonna be real here.
I have seen maybe 2 femboys feminine enough to make me consider it, and they were model level looking. I ain't winning that war.

oh... well, u never know. u might see urself as a 3, but someone u rate as 7 or 8 might see u as a 10. its all about what ppl been thro. i know plenty of hot girls dating more moderate looking guys, cuz they learned their lessons (immature guys). so its best if u have a positive attitude and take care of hygiene. thats all that matters rly

[Arvaos]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Arvaos:

That's a sign you have to work on yourself.

Try professional photos by a modelling agency and a stylist.

TOKEN YOU ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ STOP LOOKING AT THE CAMERA! Cool guys don't look at the camera they stare off in the distance.

Well, it's quite obvious you're not going to make the effort to become presentable to women by working on your image and it seems you are only here to blame them.

[Puggly the Grey]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Puggly the Grey:

Well, first off, chur negative and hateful attitude will chase jus aboot any good peeps away.

I has, or had, a great uncle who was quite ugly, but he was also super sweet, thoughtful, and kind. He had a beautiful wife who loved him, she even stayed by his side as the cancer slowly made him perish. So bein’ beautiful on le inside can absolutely offset outward ugliness.

However, some peeps are so broken and useless, dat no one will ever love dem, and no one should ever love dem, cause it’s jus le natural order of fings.

Take me fir example, I has permanent brain damage and 4-5 unrelated mental illnesses at le same time, I’m permanently disabled and utterly useless.

I am, borderline, not even a human bein’, I’m more like a hollow shell dat jus tries to imitate human behavior wifout actually understandin’ it or its meanin’.

The only peeps dat love meh, are my parents and my brudda, no one else does, and dats good, cause no one else should.

Now I don’t know chu, but it’s possible dat chu might be a peep who’s essentially meant to be alone, like me. In which case, I recommend learnin’ how to be happy and at peace wif churself.

Dat, or find a good psychiatrist to diagnose whatever is wrong wif chu, and take legal and prescribed medication until chu can’t feel anyfing anymore.

Well first of all, in 4 days is my ma's anniversary of dying of cancer... so that sucks to hear about another cancer death, my condolences.

I don't think youre useless btw, you seem articulate and nice.

But your Great Uncle came from a time before Tinder, so theres that.

Like i told the last guy ill go kicking and screaming i will never go gracefully into the night.

already holding back the want to abuse my diazepam so...covers the drugs...

I appreciate chur kind sentiment, and chu has my condolences as well, my great uncle was like le Santa Claus of le family, he was super nice to meh and never got mad at me fir bein’ brain broken neither, so I do feel like le world is a lil’ worse off wifout him. I certainly am, at least.

However, I feel obligated to inform chu dat I am neither nice nor articulate, I has jus spent many years observin’ how peeps who are dos fings behave, and try to imitate dem as best I can.

When I was smol, my mum told meh dat bein’ kind is good, so I try as hard as I can to behave in le way dat I fink a kind peep would, but I don’t really understand kindness on a deeper level.

I do dis, cause I desperately want to be good, it’s teh only fing I want, aside from Hotseat mode, and one other fing dat I don’t know how to describe.

[Angel]

Just out of curiosity, did you ever approach women in person and how did that go? If you don't mind me asking.

I only mention it because it seemed like apps aren't working for you.

[Puggly the Grey]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Puggly the Grey:

I appreciate chur kind sentiment, and chu has my condolences as well, my great uncle was like le Santa Claus of le family, he was super nice to meh and never got mad at me fir bein’ brain broken neither, so I do feel like le world is a lil’ worse off wifout him. I certainly am, at least.

However, I feel obligated to inform chu dat I am neither nice nor articulate, I has jus spent many years observin’ how peeps who are dos fings behave, and try to imitate dem as best I can.

When I was smol, my mum told meh dat bein’ kind is good, so I try as hard as I can to behave in le way dat I fink a kind peep would, but I don’t really understand kindness on a deeper level.

I do dis, cause I desperately want to be good, it’s teh only fing I want, aside from Hotseat mode, and one other fing dat I don’t know how to describe.

consider yourself nice. you are.

I will never believe dat aboot myself, and der is nuffin’ anypeep could say to change my mind, but fir what it’s worth, I hope chu find happiness and peace in chur life, and dat chu find someone who will loves chu.

[Angel]

The other thought is if you have reliable friends who knows suitable single people that can introduce you to them. It's basically acts as an initial way in or a "foot in the door" along with having a wingman. It has a higher probability of something happening however does have the risk of fallout if things fail.

[Altimely]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

Początkowo opublikowane przez BunnieBealla:

not be a doomer and act normal uwu

normal is subjective, If you had to deal with half the dating issues, you'd see Doomer as "normal".

True, but it's less subjective based on the time, place, and culture. Right now, the bar is pretty low. If you're not a self-loathing crypto bro that hates abortion and watches the "intellectual dark web", you're a safer pick than a lot of men. Gaming is also more common than ever so you're good.

You said you want someone that's fun to be around: you also need to be fun to be around. Have interests, at least enough that you can talk about more than one subject.

Be endearing. This requires some effort but all it means is caring about people other than yourself. Getting a dog or cat is a good start but is costly. Volunteering somewhere like a food bank only costs you time and energy.

Don't project loneliness. Loneliness is a spiral because the only thing that can cure it is connecting with other people but people don't want to be around it. You have to "fake it till you make it". That doesnt mean lie, you can tell someone you're lonely, but if you don't seem desperate for their time they won't be put off by you.

From there, go to a brewery and look for a bulletin board with social events. Pick the one that looks the least awkward, and show up. Depending on location, table top gaming or board game clubs can be common.

[the vampire of time and memory]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

Początkowo opublikowane przez Breathe:

If you think so low of yourself, no one else is going to see you for anything but that low version. You're just proving even further how much you need to work on loving yourself first and working on being the best you that you can be.

I guess in this case, 'modern dating' means wanting someone else in your life and focusing on what they bring to your life while not even taking into care and consideration what you're bringing to theirs.

and I COVERED THIS TOO. I see some of the lowest ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ scum garbage criminals druggies and the dependant, the type of guy that makes a woman provide the house and cash and pay for everything with women, and somehow me not being ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ jacked to the gills is the issue? no. ♥♥♥♥ no.

the difference is they probably don't hate themselves, so they can love and be loved

ik it seems impossible now but until you stop talking yourself down like this and look at yourself more positively nobody will be interested in entangling their lives with all that

how do you start on the journey of self acceptance? no idea, honestly, but therapy will be a good start, and I'll pray you have more positive life experiences as well

[Andros]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

Below average middle age guy... am I just meant to go die in a ditch? Tinder is a meat market for hook ups for the good looking, Legit dating sites are full of bots and only fans thots... so... what exactly am I supposed to do? hope I live long enough to see Blade runner and Joi become reality? super exciting I may one day get to buy a super expensive hologram that will tell me what I want to hear... Society really ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up. I hate this.

I’m a solid 5 but mentally and put together I’m a solid 9 and I’m married.

It ain’t about looks brother.

[90054321564584560]

Początkowo opublikowane przez XKingBaneX:

Początkowo opublikowane przez stupid cool:

therapy, self care, reading books, staying away from toxic places on the internet, journalling, new hobbies and positive vibes.

and don't tell me you're 35 years old and cannot read books like u did previously.

I read, I have read would be the proper actually. Problem is, nothing keeps attention, I drop them.
same with games, same with anime, even music is just noise to fill silence. nothing is fun anymore, nothing is enjoyable.

Tried Journalling, didnt really help, the whole internet is toxic, what new hobbies? i have said twice im waiting for therapy, i dont expect much, and self care...so what jerking myself off mentally that everything is a ok?... positive vibes even so seriously pretending its not all a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

You just knew too much from overconsuming so it becomes boring like me. Socalization is the only thing interests me in this life