Advice for Lonely Men?

[Arvaos]

I see a lot of topics criticizing lonely men but what about some advice?
What advice do you have for lonely men?

I'll start
1. Eat clean and get a healthy body
2. Wear nice fitting clothes
3. Go to the barbers and get a respectable hair style
4. Learn about gentlemens dating etiquette
5. Join groups, sports, martial arts, music, art groups, etc

[Pierce Dalton]

6. Forget about dating apps and go out.

[full of aura]

Originally posted by Plaid:

You'll get over it.

[Animus]

My first and most important bit of info is "get comfortable being alone, if you can be happy being alone, you'll be better for it."

I know, it's a bit of a hypocritical thing for a married man to say. But...you don't need to hinge your happiness on a relationship, because that would make the partner feel responsible for your mood. Which is a VERY good way to sabotage a relationship.

So, get comfortable in being happy alone. Whether it be something silly that brings you joy, like saturday morning cartoons like you were a kid. Or hiking, or bowling, or whatever.

Do what bring you joy, regardless of pressure from elsewhere.

[Apollo702]

That is a good list.

Those are exactly the kinds of things that can turn it around.

[Elation]

Spend less time on Off Topic being bitter about women.

[Animus]

Originally posted by Elation:

Spend less time on Off Topic being bitter about women.

To add: Be wary of "gurus" who proclaim to have perfect relationship advice, you're nothing but a mark to them to sell their "program" to.

[Rumpelcrutchskin]

Don`t be a ♥♥♥♥.

[Apollo702]

Sometime in the near future when full health is back one of countless YT video topics will be (typically a ~10 minute talk condensed into a few sentences):

Guys, forget about nonsense like pickup lines. That is all a bunch of hooey.

Work on one's self inside and out and do things exactly like the original list.

In time, one will improve enough that if perhaps they went out on Saturday, the things they did all week before that will set it into stone. Before they have even set foot out of the house they are going to be on a completely different trajectory.

Before they have met anybody for any social reasons it really was decided before it ever started.

[Animus]

Everyone should know how to do basic cooking and cleaning, a cooking class is actually a good way to kill a little time and pick up a useful skill in the future.

[Pierce Dalton]

Originally posted by agnes1:

if one was truly happy being alone they wouldnt engage in forum discussions to begin with

Boredom makes you do a lot of stupid things, whether you're a man or woman

[Animus]

Originally posted by agnes1:

Originally posted by Animus:

My first and most important bit of info is "get comfortable being alone, if you can be happy being alone, you'll be better for it."

I know, it's a bit of a hypocritical thing for a married man to say. But...you don't need to hinge your happiness on a relationship, because that would make the partner feel responsible for your mood. Which is a VERY good way to sabotage a relationship.

So, get comfortable in being happy alone. Whether it be something silly that brings you joy, like saturday morning cartoons like you were a kid. Or hiking, or bowling, or whatever.

Do what bring you joy, regardless of pressure from elsewhere.

some people may not ever experience that, they need others to exist as humans are social creatures and not everyone is an introvert

if one was truly happy being alone they wouldnt engage in forum discussions to begin with

It's okay to not be happy alone, or need connection, what I mean is don't hinge your happiness on a relationship. Don't make the relationship the SOLE cause of your joy, because your partner will resent you for it, or you'll obsess and spiral if you don't find it.

For a long time young adults have been socially pressured to be married and have kids by early 20's, to the point it's caused extreme anxiety/distress if they haven't.

Taking time to work on oneself, or enjoy their hobbies, without hyperfixation of "finding the one" can overall help not just center oneself, but help prevent sabotaging a future relationship.

[Animus]

After my first fiance I got a little neurotic, and hyperfixated on my worth in context of relationships. As in, I wasn't valuable UNLESS I was actively dating someone.

It's a very unhealthy and self destructive mindset.

[doug]

Don't read incel forums, don't listen to Jordan Peterson, don't listen to Andrew Tate, don't listen to Joe Rogan, don't listen to "looksmaxxing" advice, don't listen to literally anyone for dating or mental health advice on youtube, reddit, 4chan, steam, tik tok, instagram, facebook...


This is all good advice for anybody regardless of loneliness or gender.

[always superspecial]

Originally posted by Pierce Dalton:

Originally posted by agnes1:

if one was truly happy being alone they wouldnt engage in forum discussions to begin with

Boredom makes you do a lot of stupid things, whether you're a man or woman :holly_happy:

That is not a excuse, there are a lot of better things to do than being in a forum.

[Animus]

Don't be afraid to seek mental health help should you feel you really need it, there's a stigma that needing to see a professional means you're "broken" that frankly, needs to be done away with.