[DATING] Where does *real* dating happen in 2024?

[Shlim Sady]

I'm a recovered addict- I was talking about this in some other threads, and I don't really know where to go or what to do seeking a proper relationship now. Online dating has only resulted in unstable relationships, me getting cheated on, and unintentional hookups.

The bar? The mall? The club? It feels strange for me to go to the bar or club without smoking or drinking- primarily because that's what the majority of people are going there to do in the first place. Approaching women at the mall as a stranger feels like a taboo thing to do now, as the internet just ingrains fear into women about the whole "stranger danger" campaigns being forced on people at large. It doesn't help that I'm 6'1", dress in all black and wear an overcoat. Though, I'm not really interested in not being me, so I don't know what the real solution is.

My friends often describe my appearance as intimidating, especially as far as first impressions go. They say as soon as they started talking to me, that whole preconception drifted, but it is one of the first things people usually say about me. I don't really smile- I smirk. If I do smile, it's rare, and I unfortunately have the male equivalent of resting-♥♥♥♥♥-face.

Any solutions that don't involve using dating apps that devolved into hookup apps?

[BunnieBealla]

I'll date you :3
I hear it's best to happen naturally in environments you're use to or spend time alot such as at work or a local park
sorry I don't know how to give better advice on this uwu

[the vampire of time and memory]

everyone I know met their partners in educational institutions or work

[Mega Ultra Chicken]

It doesn't happen on dating apps.

[Shlim Sady]

Messaggio originale di BunnieBealla:

I'll date you :3
I hear it's best to happen naturally in environments you're use to or spend time alot such as at work or a local park
sorry I don't know how to give better advice on this uwu

Wanna make a marriage pact? By 2030 if we're both unable to find love, I reckon we tie the knot.

I thought about all of that, but I live in a relatively small town outside of a major city. I'd be driving an excess of 40km to chill somewhere and essentially fish for women lmao

Also, with work, I'm a freelance programmer which is just a fancy term for "unemployed". My work is my home-office; the water-cooler is lonely :(

I just don't wanna be the creepy guy who approaches women, probably scaring them. Used to be, or so I've heard, that young people actually went to the mall to socialise. Now, it's really just people trying to get home as fast as possible- or going to the food-court in groups.

I really don't wanna have to resort to Tinder or whatever other apps- there's already some gross statistic like 8 men for every 1 woman on those apps- your chances of meeting someone you want to fall in love with is really slim from my experience

[Shlim Sady]

Messaggio originale di the vampire of time and memory:

everyone I know met their partners in educational institutions or work

Yeah, I had a high-school sweetheart going into university/college, but I broke things off cause my life was going downhill fast before I corrected course. Now, they're with someone else, so I can't really try to revive that relationship as it stands.

It feels like unless you're in some sort of forced-interaction environment like school or work, your options are limited to swiping on a screen

[Chaosolous]

Messaggio originale di Shlim Sady:

Wanna make a marriage pact?

Haha, I made a marriage pact with a lady I used to be close with about 8 years ago. She ended up joining a cult and I never heard much from her after that.

I got good tastes.

Also, dating has always been a ♥♥♥♥ show, modern dating isn't different than it used to be, it's just painted another color.

[Utiviroo]

If you have a hobby that involves being physically in person, with a small/medium sized group of people, on a regular and frequent basis, in a setting where you can actually converse.

That would be your best bet.

If you don't have such a hobby, go find one and be prepared to shop around for a good crowd to work.

Friendships are based on convenience and practicality mostly, long term relationships are not much different, its easy to drift into the beyond, all to easy.

[BunnieBealla]

Messaggio originale di Shlim Sady:

Messaggio originale di BunnieBealla:

I'll date you :3
I hear it's best to happen naturally in environments you're use to or spend time alot such as at work or a local park
sorry I don't know how to give better advice on this uwu

Wanna make a marriage pact? By 2030 if we're both unable to find love, I reckon we tie the knot.

I thought about all of that, but I live in a relatively small town outside of a major city. I'd be driving an excess of 40km to chill somewhere and essentially fish for women lmao

Also, with work, I'm a freelance programmer which is just a fancy term for "unemployed". My work is my home-office; the water-cooler is lonely :(

I just don't wanna be the creepy guy who approaches women, probably scaring them. Used to be, or so I've heard, that young people actually went to the mall to socialise. Now, it's really just people trying to get home as fast as possible- or going to the food-court in groups.

I really don't wanna have to resort to Tinder or whatever other apps- there's already some gross statistic like 8 men for every 1 woman on those apps- your chances of meeting someone you want to fall in love with is really slim from my experience

I reckon we've got ourselves a deal :P
and I can see where you're coming from, the dating landscape is frustrating nowadays because there are still women who are eager to be approached and don't make the first move because that's against what we've been brought up to believe, about the man doing the chasing I mean
but I agree do not go down the dating app route, especially Tinder, that's hookup central lol uwu

[Shlim Sady]

Messaggio originale di Utiviroo:

If you have a hobby that involves being physically in person, with a small/medium sized group of people, on a regular and frequent basis, in a setting where you can actually converse.

That would be your best bet.

If you don't have such a hobby, go find one and be prepared to shop around for a good crowd to work.

Friendships are based on convenience and practicality mostly, long term relationships are not much different, its easy to drift into the beyond, all to easy.

That's what I thought AA could be for me- finding someone who understand the whole addiction struggle through experience of their own- but it's just boomers in a church basement from my experience. The group I was in, while I was in it, told me that I was by far their youngest member in decades. Seems the wisdom I had to stop isn't exhibited by most people until they're at least in their 40's... a shame, that.

It's not like I'd shame a partner who did drink, smoke, etc. to stop because of me- but I don't know how to insert myself into environments without being the odd-one-out; y'know?

[Shlim Sady]

Messaggio originale di BunnieBealla:

Messaggio originale di Shlim Sady:

Wanna make a marriage pact? By 2030 if we're both unable to find love, I reckon we tie the knot.

I thought about all of that, but I live in a relatively small town outside of a major city. I'd be driving an excess of 40km to chill somewhere and essentially fish for women lmao

Also, with work, I'm a freelance programmer which is just a fancy term for "unemployed". My work is my home-office; the water-cooler is lonely :(

I just don't wanna be the creepy guy who approaches women, probably scaring them. Used to be, or so I've heard, that young people actually went to the mall to socialise. Now, it's really just people trying to get home as fast as possible- or going to the food-court in groups.

I really don't wanna have to resort to Tinder or whatever other apps- there's already some gross statistic like 8 men for every 1 woman on those apps- your chances of meeting someone you want to fall in love with is really slim from my experience

I reckon we've got ourselves a deal :P
and I can see where you're coming from, the dating landscape is frustrating nowadays because there are still women who are eager to be approached and don't make the first move because that's against what we've been brought up to believe, about the man doing the chasing I mean
but I agree do not go down the dating app route, especially Tinder, that's hookup central lol uwu

Y'all hear that? I'm engaged!

[Chaosolous]

Messaggio originale di Shlim Sady:

Y'all hear that? I'm engaged!

See, Steam solved your dating problem in under 30 minutes.

This is how you make change people, take notes.

[AerSilver ♞]

Messaggio originale di Shlim Sady:

I'm a recovered addict- I was talking about this in some other threads

I'm interested, never seen your posts about addiction before.
What were you addicted to?

Regarding your question, I hate dating apps as well and only use them as a secondary way to meet new women. The best ways are social circles, local events, mutual friends, hobbies that you're passionate about and also have female audience, regular walking paths where you take your dogs out for a walk/jog, parks, the options are there. If you'll go to cheap bars/pubs or pick up women from dating apps, then your chances of finding a good one aren't great.

[Shlim Sady]

Messaggio originale di AerSilver ♞:

Messaggio originale di Shlim Sady:

I'm a recovered addict- I was talking about this in some other threads

I'm interested, never seen your posts about addiction before.
What were you addicted to?

Regarding your question, I hate dating apps as well and only use them as a secondary way to meet new women. The best ways are social circles, local events, mutual friends, hobbies that you're passionate about and also have female audience, regular walking paths where you take your dogs out for a walk/jog, parks, the options are there. If you'll go to cheap bars/pubs or pick up women from dating apps, then your chances of finding a good one aren't great.

I'll give you a VERY heavy post, but also one that's a bit comical, and easier to read through imo.

Heavy post: https://steamcommunity.com/discussions/forum/12/4328600722523763673/

[Shlim Sady]

Messaggio originale di AerSilver ♞:

Messaggio originale di Shlim Sady:

I'm a recovered addict- I was talking about this in some other threads

I'm interested, never seen your posts about addiction before.
What were you addicted to?

Regarding your question, I hate dating apps as well and only use them as a secondary way to meet new women. The best ways are social circles, local events, mutual friends, hobbies that you're passionate about and also have female audience, regular walking paths where you take your dogs out for a walk/jog, parks, the options are there. If you'll go to cheap bars/pubs or pick up women from dating apps, then your chances of finding a good one aren't great.

Pain:

Okay. We might have to burn this post once I'm done writing it. For the sake of this post, "I've only ever done this once," and by a God I don't believe in, it was the most unholy thing I might've ever graced this Earth with as an avid in-problem alcoholic.

Step 1) It's 07:00 - you work at 12:00 - 20:00

Step 2) Make pancakes (preferably blueberry)

Step 3) Strategically relocate your emergency 750ml bottle of Blue Agave Tequila

Step 4) Empty ALL of the contents into a 1 litre Tupperware container.

Step 5) Marinate until work

Step 6) It's 12:30 - your coworkers know you don't drive under the influence, but know Tequila becomes a part of your soul when working a miserable job (since gone)

Step 7) Ć̵͕̝̕ ̶̲̓̇O̷̡͐ ̸̼̬̑N̸͚̮̏͋ ̸̢̥͠S̶͙̈͠ ̸͈͈̾̓Ŭ̷̻̤ ̸͎͆̆ͅḾ̵̬ ̷̯͇́̋Ḛ̶̢͗

7)a) There's no right way. At this point, you're in it for the long-haul; everything that was once solid has now been emulsified into an eye-stinging sludge. You can do it with a spoon, you can chug from the bowl- just get it down

7)b) The purpose of the pancakes are to act as a sponge and keep it in your system for the longest amount of time possible

Step 8) Ramifications

8)a) Do not attempt this- I was a high-functioning alcoholic who could only be bested by God himself if I had allowed it

8)b) Work while wearing near 2 containers of antiperspirant and a pleasantly fragrant cologne

8)c) Talk to both customers, coworkers, boss, whoever winds up in your Captain Jack Sparrow walking path with the utmost possible charisma that would put D&D5E Human Rogues to shame. Flirt, chat, negotiate, all immediate Nat 20's.

8)d) With a full bottle of tequila in your stomach, park as many 26' trucks as humanly possible while blaring the Initial D soundtrack bangers such as Gas Gas Gas, Deja Vu, and Running in The 90's

8)d)1) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=atuFSv2bLa8

8)d)2) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dv13gl0a-FA

8)d)3) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJ0xBCwkg3E

8)e) Steps 8)d) are only to be performed under strict coworker supervision where they fearlessly encourage icy round-lot donuts around the beat-drops with an unwavering confidence in my ability to pilot a vehicle clutch locked in 1st/2nd gear

Step 9) Get out of vehicles, put on cracked, heavily damaged mirror-glassed aviators with silver-frames, stylishly light cigarillo with matte black Zippo lighter to match your all-black drip (black jeans, black hoodie with sleeves exposing forearms, black Timberland boots, a general acceptance of management and coworkers that you won't wear the company uniform which is some gross Canadian cigarette packaging forest mucus green)

Step 10) Throw up EXCLUSIVELY WATER (keep instant coffee in system) in company bathroom specifically at 18:00 post-cigarillo (20 minute burn smoked in 10 minutes at 17:45)

Step 11) Move an excess of 120lbs without mechanical aid, coworker aid, or will to live past 30 years of age to buy silence among coworkers

Step 12) After consuming an amount of water, nicotine, instant coffee caffeine, Redbull caffeine and tequila that'd kill a lesser-man, you are now entirely sober and ready to enjoy a DUI free drive home listening to Jazz

12)a) Jazz: Start a radio off of the song Take Five by Dave Brubeck https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmDDOFXSgAs

Step 13) Enjoy what is still to this day the best sleeps I've ever had the pleasure of enduring

13)a) Get hangover if you're a beta ♥♥♥♥♥- which I never had to endure due to the exceedingly lethal amounts of nicotine and caffeine in my system

[AerSilver ♞]

Addiction is a pain, I feel you. There's always the looming risk of relapsing into an old habit and the constant feeling of temptation. Either way, I hope you find one of my suggestions for finding places to meet women helpful, and if you still take the dating apps route, then take anything there personally or let it negatively affect your self-esteem. Detachment is key.