Scared of giving compliments to people?

[ImSoCool599]

Does anyone ever get embarrassed of complimenting another person, even when you genuinely like them and want to compliment them? Feels like I am too shy of telling a girl I really like how pretty she sometimes looks simply because I have convinced myself she will find it cringe/gross. This happens a lot more especially on text. Any advice?

[Q-T_3.14.exe]

Hey OP, you got some big arms. Do you work out?

I feel compliments have a time and place.

[DarkCrystalMethod]

I enter the friendzone with extreme caution. If I can just get a handle on their feelings for me then I'll be far more open about my own feelings. Unfortunately I don't get out much (Curses! Foiled again!)

[Barney, from Black Mesa.]

Not when it isn't forced.

[AlienTestosterone]

If you're that insecured most females will already picked up on it. You'll be fine.

[craigsters]

I was mouthed off at today on the city bus for no damn reason, I was sitting at the front returning home with my granny cart with my air mattress I just exchanged at Canadian tire and the lady said to me f_uck off, my cart wasn't blocking the aisle and pulled tight to my legs, she was Inuit and there a lot in Ottawa, but I don't think her race had anything to do with her ignorant behaviour

[Pocahawtness]

The reason you do this is because you are frightened of a negative response. Rejection is painful so you won't take the chance of it happening. But if you don't take chances in life then you will always regret missing so many opportunities. Ask your doctor for a good book about it.

[livinggg]

Nothing wrong with telling a man/woman he/she is pretty/handsome. Sure you will get a better response if you are tasteful and honest, but some people do this gaslighting thing where they act like they are repulsed by your compliment but then spend days wishing everyone would give them compliments like you did. You just can't win sometimes, and knowing that is how you deal with rejection. Eventually you will win someone's heart and that is when you love them <3

[BlackBloodGhost]

Not at all, I always give great compliments. For example, I think you are all great disgraces to your people and heritage.

Don't take this seriously

[Fake]

Just go up to her and tell her about your gamer score.

[Lupa]

Sometimes I see someone wearing such cute boots and I want to tell them but I am too shy! The worst is when I want to know what perfume/cologne someone is wearing because idk saying "you smell good, where did you get it" sounds kinda weird to me.

[ImSoCool599]

Originalmente postado por 2024😸Pocah:

The reason you do this is because you are frightened of a negative response. Rejection is painful so you won't take the chance of it happening. But if you don't take chances in life then you will always regret missing so many opportunities. Ask your doctor for a good book about it.

Yep, I think you might be right. The fear of rejection is something that really makes me anxious. Something I should fix because it can make me hard being honest. Thanks.

[livinggg]

Originalmente postado por Lupa:

Sometimes I see someone wearing such cute boots and I want to tell them but I am too shy! The worst is when I want to know what perfume/cologne someone is wearing because idk saying "you smell good, where did you get it" sounds kinda weird to me. :CryingGhost:

Its probably the least weird way to come on to someone. Complimenting the things a person does to project an image outward validates their identity. From my experience, it is the most reliable way to break the ice with someone.

[DarkCrystalMethod]

I kind of expect rejection, but what I fear is if they accept me.

[videomike_Ultimate_Plushie]

I can sympathize. For me the issue is more political and legal threat against my person for trying but I do get it otherwise. Without practice to gain confidence it can be hard to make the bigger moves on more strangers, and given todays environment good luck getting practice if you didnt get lucky with being attractive in high school

[videomike_Ultimate_Plushie]

Originalmente postado por bisder:

Originalmente postado por Lupa:

Sometimes I see someone wearing such cute boots and I want to tell them but I am too shy! The worst is when I want to know what perfume/cologne someone is wearing because idk saying "you smell good, where did you get it" sounds kinda weird to me. :CryingGhost:

Its probably the least weird way to come on to someone. Complimenting the things a person does to project an image outward validates their identity. From my experience, it is the most reliable way to break the ice with someone.

Agreed, I would also add in complimenting clothing or accessory choice which would build up an active choice they're aware of, with physical excellence being useful in settings where that's being tested(like complimenting someone's workout.) Either way make notice of what they've chosen to do. If you're lucky you might touch on something emotional. I recently got that, by accident in my case, complimenting someones necklace. Turns out it was a major family heirloom and she only just started wearing it and had been worried it looked cheap.

I'd say another key part if not the most important part is to understand these compliments as a skill and service(for lack of a better worse) that's worth giving regardless of reward. Even if that compliment begins and ends there with no further discussion it trains confidence and personal observation, which can create more situations to try and read for conversations and learn that skill as well.