Is it normal that I’m sick of living?

[replika]

Just asking.

[kingjames488]

Цитата допису Sly Succubus:

Цитата допису kingjames488:

oh ****... don't talk to a "professional" then... they're literally trained to hide it.

For all that it is worth, I had hit the lowest grade of depression roughly 4 years back as a result of collage stress, it was so bad that I had to get medical help and my doctor ORDERED, not requested, yes, ORDERED an immediate suspension of all classes, thankfully I did not get to the point of self-inflicted harm, but my mind was as deep as it got, to the point I was hearing psychosis voices in my head.

I managed to recover but since those days I've held a bleak take on life, I'm not as sour as I sound, I enjoy being around others and having fun, but after also seeing the nearly bottomless pit of disrepair, I've come to terms with both my own mortality and how held together this world is.

Sounds insane because honestly when I think on it, my own depression resulting in a new outlook on this planet that displays its real face makes me feel more cynical then joyful yet people say I've become more happy around others. *shrug*

oh ya, their solution to everything is to tell you to just forget about it and if you refuse to ignore the obvious issues facing you they destroy your life to give you something to worry about...

you know, rather than being concerned with the issues of how everything is ****ed up...

[❤ Sly Succubus ❤]

Цитата допису kingjames488:

Цитата допису Sly Succubus:

For all that it is worth, I had hit the lowest grade of depression roughly 4 years back as a result of collage stress, it was so bad that I had to get medical help and my doctor ORDERED, not requested, yes, ORDERED an immediate suspension of all classes, thankfully I did not get to the point of self-inflicted harm, but my mind was as deep as it got, to the point I was hearing psychosis voices in my head.

I managed to recover but since those days I've held a bleak take on life, I'm not as sour as I sound, I enjoy being around others and having fun, but after also seeing the nearly bottomless pit of disrepair, I've come to terms with both my own mortality and how held together this world is.

Sounds insane because honestly when I think on it, my own depression resulting in a new outlook on this planet that displays its real face makes me feel more cynical then joyful yet people say I've become more happy around others. *shrug*

oh ya, their solution to everything is to tell you to just forget about it and if you refuse to ignore the obvious issues facing you they destroy your life to give you something to worry about...

you know, rather than being concerned with the issues of how everything is ****ed up...

On one hand I'm not to sure how you'd handle voices in ones head, its a strange situation because its like waking up and knowing your surrounded by 15+ people who are speaking to you alone, no one can hear or see them, save you who can only hear them and you swear every now and then that they mess with your body in a strange way. Like I won't call myself crazy because I don't feel crazy but I was taking classes ironically in human health, specifically the brain and I know the talltail signs of psychosis rather well.

It did reach a stage for a full 3 months when they had me on the edge of it all, I seriously was found once attempting to hide because of apparent murders coming after me, thats the stage I got to. I have recovered, every now and then I swear I hear one or two voices but the lingering effects of psychosis are one of the longest lasting ones of depression or so I've found, disruptive mood swings have long since parted from me along with other issues.

I don't recall at what point I started holding a bleak look on the world, which is my point that I do not hold one on life. Yes I hold a bleak look on humanity but life itself I do not see as an issue, its odd to me that I know the differences at all..

[Sam]

Цитата допису Sly Succubus:

I don't recall at what point I started holding a bleak look on the world, which is my point that I do not hold one on life. Yes I hold a bleak look on humanity but life itself I do not see as an issue, its odd to me that I know the differences at all..

I think most of us know the differences. When we got professional help, we were told so much crap that we seem to know it all by now. But this isn't necessarily a help. Are you still on medication?

[❤ Sly Succubus ❤]

Цитата допису Sam:

Цитата допису Sly Succubus:

I don't recall at what point I started holding a bleak look on the world, which is my point that I do not hold one on life. Yes I hold a bleak look on humanity but life itself I do not see as an issue, its odd to me that I know the differences at all..

I think most of us know the differences. When we got professional help, we were told so much crap that we seem to know it all by now. But this isn't necessarily a help. Are you still on medication?

Not at all, 2 years clean of it now but it may just be a lingering effect.

[kingjames488]

Цитата допису Sly Succubus:

Цитата допису kingjames488:

oh ya, their solution to everything is to tell you to just forget about it and if you refuse to ignore the obvious issues facing you they destroy your life to give you something to worry about...

you know, rather than being concerned with the issues of how everything is ****ed up...

On one hand I'm not to sure how you'd handle voices in ones head, its a strange situation because its like waking up and knowing your surrounded by 15+ people who are speaking to you alone, no one can hear or see them, save you who can only hear them and you swear every now and then that they mess with your body in a strange way. Like I won't call myself crazy because I don't feel crazy but I was taking classes ironically in human health, specifically the brain and I know the talltail signs of psychosis rather well.

It did reach a stage for a full 3 months when they had me on the edge of it all, I seriously was found once attempting to hide because of apparent murders coming after me, thats the stage I got to. I have recovered, every now and then I swear I hear one or two voices but the lingering effects of psychosis are one of the longest lasting ones of depression or so I've found, disruptive mood swings have long since parted from me along with other issues.

I don't recall at what point I started holding a bleak look on the world, which is my point that I do not hold one on life. Yes I hold a bleak look on humanity but life itself I do not see as an issue, its odd to me that I know the differences at all..

I'm pretty sure star trek addressed that... and it's actually funny how TNG is better therapy than most so-called professionals because the characters almost seem to be designed to represent different aspects of humanity.

I think everyone hears voices to some level, you just have to learn to identify your voice from the many voices out there.

and you might try to say "well if you're schizophrenic you can't just do that" but there are cases of people simply deciding not to listen.

"who are you" is a question as old as the hills.

edit: and ya, the system had me on the edge of it not too long ago too... and they were largely the cause with their decades of gaslighting and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that culminated in them having me arrested on some hopped-up charges that were later thrown out of the courts.
don't trust the man.

[Tex]

Don't do it OP, no matter how bad life gets you down, there's always Pasta.

[Anophis]

Be safe man, it's normal to have down days but too much of it and yeah can be depression like others mention. Plus with things like the news and social media bombarding us with stressful stuff constantly it's easy to get overwhelmed without even realizing it.
Depression is BALLS, struggled with it for yeeears but life is good now

[XSGames]

It happens when you miss the sense of your life, it's normal, but you must fight that feeling

you were born to be happy, you're loved by God, you're unique, and life is a precious gift that's worth living 100% 💪

[kingjames488]

ya, it's all beyond hope... but you might as well see what comes tomorrow.

after all, if you end yourself the man wins.

[Acetyl]

Yep. It'll come and go in various ways throughout your life.