What’s your favourite red flag in dating?

[osama bin laden]

[Gtkp_]

Messaggio originale di horse whinnies:

Messaggio originale di Gtkp_:

As soon as someone uses the words "validate" or "mental health" or really any psychological term that's being propped up nowadays

Anyone that uses the word "nowadays" in this context is a red flag to me. It's a symptom of bitterness towards those that are different, and being incapable of adapting to the times/growing out of behaviours they learnt in the playground.

It seems like you've found yourself in what I said, or you're getting strung up on one word and missing the whole point of my comment. When people use those sentences often I get the impression that they're the type of person that's irresponsible or just ineffectual about dealing with their problems.
I'm not saying that person IS like that, that's not what red flags are.

[Gtkp_]

Messaggio originale di Space is the Place:

Personally I don´t see red flags on a first date, knowing someone it´s not an instant thing, you don´t talk for 5 minutes and suddenly know everything about that person. Plus, on a first impressions date, it´s completely normal for people to get nervous and misexpress themselves or probably try to sell themselves way to high or way to low depending on their levels of selfsteem.

For me red flags start to appear after some time when the two people relax and start to show their true colors, and the two biggest I have experienced are:

-The other person has a Tinder profile and after a month of dating they still have it on. "It´s for the lols"... yeah, sure. For me it sounds like they don´t think too highly of our chances and are weighting options with pictures of other guys.

-The other person always has "the worst luck with dating". SOmetimes they will have several long term relationships in the past with horrible partners that would threat them like dog sh**t, to the point you start to question why did they stood on that relationship for so long if it was so bad? And how is it that in their stories they are always the victim? Like someone said previously on this thread, it makes me think no matter how I threat them, they will talk the same about me. And this actually happened to me recently and it´s quite surreal how this type of people bend the true to make you look like an absolute monster.

Messaggio originale di horse whinnies:

Anyone that uses the word "nowadays" in this context is a red flag to me. It's a symptom of bitterness towards those that are different, and being incapable of adapting to the times/growing out of behaviours they learnt in the playground.

+1, Human´s life span is so short that it honestly sounds pathetic when someone speaks as if they were 500 years old and seen the world change in so many ways that they can´t even recognize it anymore. Languages evolve, getting mad about it it´s, just like you said, a bitter attitude.

Refer to my last comment. It seems that you've missed what I've been saying.

[Tonepoet]

Messaggio originale di JustSomeLego:

Wait, what do you mean "favorite red flag"
Aren't red flags bad? Why do you have a favorite, one that you like the most?
Is this a "Now hear me out" situation???

Red flag is just sports related slang for a warning sign. Having a good, effective and reliable warning can help you decide not to pursue a bad relationship, so you can like them for all of the trouble you save when you recognize it..

[emcarlsen (she/her)]

The misguided belief my plans regarding my genitals is a topic someone else gets to bring up on a first date, and expect a second, much less to ever get to see them.

[Space is the Place]

Messaggio originale di emcarlsen:

The misguided belief my plans regarding my genitals is a topic someone else gets to bring up on a first date, and expect a second, much less to ever get to see them.

Creepos will be creeping. That being said, the good thing about that kind of behaviour is that you already know from the go that´s a relationship not worth even for friendship.

[Unexpected]

not sure i'd call it a favourite, but the one that makes me run away is the perception of jealousy, control or envy over what i am doing in my personal time

[Q-T_3.14.exe]

Messaggio originale di emcarlsen:

The misguided belief my plans regarding my genitals is a topic someone else gets to bring up on a first date, and expect a second, much less to ever get to see them.

WDYM?

[Ulfrinn]

Dyed hair has become one for me, not for the look, but for the mentality I find that generally goes with it. Tattoos are okay though, if their mind is in the right place.

[Netaris]

Messaggio originale di Ehhhh?:

Not splitting the check and no showcase of putting their money on the line for you. It's not about lack of chivalry or that you're too broke to pay. It's a matter of respect and investment, if a date isn't willing to get some skin in the game for you, then it's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ flop.

Yep, that one I have too, I don't care about chivalry and so on. A relationship is builded by two peoples, not one. If only one make the efforts for the very first meeting, it start poorly for the future couple it will result in. If she's stopped by something as harmless as splitting the addition, it talk volume about how much she want to invest in the relationship. As the smallest first show of good will is already too much.

This and tattoos / piercings, that kind of body modifications. If you rely on that, it may mean several things and all are bad signs. It may be because you want to mimic criminals and prostitute, what mean they're your models, what's a big no-no. Or because you have no clue it's linked to that, what show a total lack of understanding of what these are (group recognition signs). In some countries, peoples are killed because of a tattoo belonging to a gang they weren't supposed to wear as a non-member. Or it show how insecure these peoples are with the body they had at first, as they feel the need to modify it to feel good about themselves. What's not a good sign either. I see no good reason to have those, only bad ones.

[King Of Lolis]

I dont date but i lose interest in anyone whos not into anime and dosent care about fashion

[Q-T_3.14.exe]

Messaggio originale di King Of Lolis:

I dont date but i lose interest in anyone whos not into anime and dosent care about fashion

Dress like a JoJo character?

[King Of Lolis]

Messaggio originale di Q-T_3.14.exe:

Messaggio originale di King Of Lolis:

I dont date but i lose interest in anyone whos not into anime and dosent care about fashion

Dress like a JoJo character?

Any style is fine as long as you dont dress like common joe or wear addidas 🤮

And ironically i do wear a Giorno hoodie and anime shirts
But i also take good care of my long beautiful Lancelot hair along with my rings and necklaces

I take pride in my looks

[Marius]

When they don't want to have coitus after seeing eachother for a while, lets say 1 month or two. Learned that the hard way. But too soon is also a red flag. Had a couple of times it was after a first meetup, then the whole relationship is based on that. Kinda annoying when you get bored.

[Sir Seanicus, Esq.]

Doesn't like Limp Bizkit.

[[horse whinnies]]

Messaggio originale di Gtkp_:

Messaggio originale di horse whinnies:

Anyone that uses the word "nowadays" in this context is a red flag to me. It's a symptom of bitterness towards those that are different, and being incapable of adapting to the times/growing out of behaviours they learnt in the playground.

It seems like you've found yourself in what I said, or you're getting strung up on one word and missing the whole point of my comment. When people use those sentences often I get the impression that they're the type of person that's irresponsible or just ineffectual about dealing with their problems.
I'm not saying that person IS like that, that's not what red flags are.

I haven't seen myself in what you said. It's entirely possible for someone to disagree with what you're saying and not see themselves in it.

I think you're not very good at saying what you mean. Both me and the other person seem to have misunderstood you, and your second reply didn't make it any clearer either. Let's see.

You implied that "mental health" is a current buzzword, that it is "propped up nowadays". This is a red flag to me because it shows lack of empathy or care for mental health and I have no doubt your distaste for it is a symptom of bigger traits that I wouldn't like about you further down the line. That's what a red flag is. You are displaying red flags, to me. You either deal with that, ignore it, or try to argue I didn't understand your post but you haven't managed to change my mind about it. Like other person said, you're not 500 years old. "nowadays" is always used in conjunction with something gross, and shows, like I already stated, a bitterness about how times have changed and you're upset that you can no longer say certain things or behave in certain ways.

I also believe it to be a good thing that people are talking about mental health more. Talking about it means we can spot it earlier and be more equipped to deal with it as a society.