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Np at all, best of luck to you! :)
In my own case, I have the same thing, I can play to games, but only high quality ones, only the best for my tastes. Because the average game don't bring me anything exciting anymore. And I'm way more concious today of the value of the time I spended into gaming before and how it can be used for more usefull things.
I am but after this message i'll unsubscribe considering it's 2 years old but an update i can do.
drawing, painting, writing, reading, listening to music and just zoning out, meditating, etc.
I can't marathon game like I used to. I mean, I still can, but it takes a lot out of me. I think I'm one of those gamers that tenses their muscles a lot for not much of justification other than I will aim better, but I'm going to be sore as hell after a few hours.
I know this is old but the video game industry is hollow now they produce horrible titles and expect top dollar, very few games even worth investing time in these days.
I now own such a computer but my interest in gaming (and everything else) has waned.
I have to force myself to start up a game and play for more than 15 minutes. It feels more like a chore than a past time sometimes. Same thing with watching movies.
Life is a slow journey onward to decrepitude and ahnedonia.
I have no family here. My dad moved us when I was 12. My dad and mom asked if my sister and I if we wanted to move. At that point in my life, I was in 7 through 12 school. It was my first year in 7th grade. I was one of the few white kids in a primarily black school. I was bullied in a couple of classes. On the flip side I had some kids that I got a long with which made it tolerable. There were many instances of bulling. Mostly making fun of me or playing a small prank on me. The bulling I couldn't deal with well was the physical stuff. I had always been a quiet kid around people or teachers I didn't know well. So, when I was stabbed in the back neck every day with a penicil in history class, I never said anything. In Gym I was mocked for my lack of abilities in sports and my deodorant was constantly being stolen.
So of course I wanted to move. So, we did. At first it was ok then my social awkwardness was going on. People would try to talk to me but at that point the moving, the being bullied, puberty I wasn't sure who was pretending to be nice and who was generally trying to be nice. I basically shut down. There were a couple bulling instances, nothing physically.
A year after I graduated my sister moved to a different state (she was older than me by 3 years). I think she kept me grounded and was my social outlet. She and I always lived together until she moved away. So, video games, movies and reading are mostly what I did. I met people through jobs and AOL (that kind of ages me a bit). However, after all of the people I met, girls I dated, friends I ended up making throughout my teens and 20s.... they all moved. I literally mean every person I ever met, dated, made friends with no longer lives remotely close to me. My dad suddenly passed away in 2011, after that my mom moved back to her hometown. So, I was basically abandoned.
Now I am a house husband. Not by choice mind you. I had job a finally loved. For 6 years (which is the longest job I ever had [primarily because I got bored often]) I was a person that worked with adults with mental disabilities. Another social outlet per says Of course, it's against the rules to hang out with these people outside of working hours. Other co-workers I never met because everyone had their own people to take care of and mostly no over lapping. The only time I saw my coworkers were at quarterly meetings or some type of mandatory training.
When covid hit, I stayed home with my daughter which was 3 at the time. her mother was overly protective before this happed. So, this made everything way worse. She no longer trusted any family member of hers to watch her. I stayed home. For 6 months we never left the house. After that I would take her to parks for her to play outside. It hurt me to see her get so scared when another kid got too close, because of what her mom told her. She was basically conditioned to be scared of other children. Finally, we got masks and at that point she was 4 and still would be nervous around children but I would have to say, you got your mask on remember?
When she started school, I finally thought there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I was no longer bound to her for the whole day. for 7ish hours a day I was free. I thought for sure I could start working again. So, I reapplied for my old job. They didn't like my availability. The simple fact that I had to be at the school for pick up at 2:45, that I could not work weekends, holidays, or any other day that my kid either didn't have school was sick. I applied for other similar jobs and many different jobs. They all had the same answer. So, I thought maybe a stay-at-home job might suit me. The one that I felt was reputable needed a dedicated room for my computer. An office if you will for where I would only work. Didn't matter if no one was home, they required a room solely dedicated to work. I inherited a 1940s home, very small rooms but I am grateful. Needless to say, there wasn't a room I could use for just a workspace. The house has an unfinished basement, the main floor has 2 bedrooms. One for my daughter and one for me.
Every once in a while I will apply for random jobs. I never really get a response. When I do, they usually say our shifts start at X and end at Y. if you can't be there from those times, we can't hire you. No flexibility at all. My previous job was extremely flexible and that's why i was shocked when i wasn't hired back.
So here I am 8 to 3 just sitting at home. All I can do is play video games and watch tv. I have no other outlets really. I never really wanted to be a father, but it happened because her mom wanted a kid so bad. Now I am the primary caregiver. I rarely have adult conversations, and I just feel my time at home is wasted. I don't know what to do.