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Almost none of the users are looking for any of the right things for any of the right reasons. Add to that the companies are constantly trying to find new ways to force subscriptions on their entire user base.
The absolute worst of capitalism, poor communication, and unrealistic expectations, all combined, all at once.
Eventually, preferably sooner than later, one of you will have to move from where you're comfortable. And that's scary. And getting back if things go south is tough.
Uh... long enough xD
I don't really know, but we're measuring in years, for absolute sure. I think there may have been a point in time that it was okay, as I've heard some positive stories. But I haven't seen any contemporary indication of viability, or of trends improving, only deteriorating.
It could also be "a regional thing," but my experience has been extremely disappointing and overall 'monoculture.'
I know, it feels like the 'rock and a hard place' conundrum sometimes, doesn't it?
I don't want a relationship that revolves around the culture of substance abuse (overall bar culture is not about drinking, it's about abusing drinking, let's be honest). But I also don't want something that evolves out of that 'social media style' superficiality. Which is the primary means and manner of communication and interaction on every single online dating service. Because it's familiar! Which is pretty off-putting in its own right...
Every long-term online dating user I've met has basically presented like a very jaded person. Some I met on an app, and even ended up in a few very stimulating conversations about that jaded-ness... which was fun, in a weirdly depressing way. Still never led anywhere.
I think the problem with even the most well-meaning service (if such exists) is that... it's just not the right "format." It's not a productive strategy for getting to know and understanding someone, only for creating very brief flings that really have no chance to go anywhere no matter how much the two people lie to themselves that it does.
I'm not convinced that "the right way" exists in society at all, today. I think if anything people have to figure out how to make it for themselves. And more often than not that seems like expecting/hoping to just wander into the right coincidence.
Oh, and to clarify "monoculture" - which I should have up-front - every user thinks they're doing it their own, special way, but after enough interactions, honestly, almost everyone you run into on those sites runs down the same checklist of actions. I'm sure I did, too, without realizing. The systems "train" you to do so, simply as a matter of course based on what is and isn't possible there.
Have I ever thought of it? Absolutely not. Probably because I've never liked an online friend in that way, but if I did I'd never consider edating. I'd rather date someone in person.