Bad joke thread. Post your bad jokes here.

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Faster With Feeling Jun 7, 2023 @ 7:05pm

Post jokes that are bad, maybe funny sometimes but overall they must be bad jokes. I shall start with a classic..

Don't trust the atoms, they make up everything

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Showing 46-60 of 66 comments

Kobs Jun 9, 2023 @ 3:31am

Pull my finger

#46

Psychlapse Jun 9, 2023 @ 4:42am

For non-uk types: b&q is a hardware store that used to be known for its iconic uniform that included a bright orange polo shirt. Decking is both outdoor wooden flooring and slang for knocking someone on their ass.

I went into a b&q last week and go thrown out. I went into the gardening area, and this bloke with an orange shirt on came up to me and said "you want decking?" So I got the first hit in.

#47

Grimmz Jun 9, 2023 @ 4:45am

as my last wish i want you to put me in chili, then eat me so i can tear that ass up one more time.

#48

Xero_Daxter Jun 9, 2023 @ 5:10am

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Why are you crying?

#49

Masque Jun 9, 2023 @ 6:50am

Originally posted by ᚨᛞᚡᛖᚱᛋᚨᚱᛃ:
A bear walks into a bar and eats a blonde. He asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry sir, we don't serve addicts here." The bear says "What are you talking about?" The bartender says "That was a bar ♥♥♥♥♥ you ate."

A priest goes on a hike in the woods. Suddenly he's being chased by a bear. The priest prays to God asking him to convert the bear. And so He converts the bear to Christianity. Then the bear catches up to the priest. The bear says, "Thank you Lord for this meal I am about to eat."

A doe walks out of a bar and says "I can't believe I blew ten bucks in there."

#50

saranacX Jun 9, 2023 @ 6:59am

Originally posted by Masque:
Originally posted by ᚨᛞᚡᛖᚱᛋᚨᚱᛃ:
A bear walks into a bar and eats a blonde. He asks the bartender for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry sir, we don't serve addicts here." The bear says "What are you talking about?" The bartender says "That was a bar ♥♥♥♥♥ you ate."

A priest goes on a hike in the woods. Suddenly he's being chased by a bear. The priest prays to God asking him to convert the bear. And so He converts the bear to Christianity. Then the bear catches up to the priest. The bear says, "Thank you Lord for this meal I am about to eat."

A doe walks out of a bar and says "I can't believe I blew ten bucks in there."

This gets awarded.

#51

Q-T_3.14.exe Jun 9, 2023 @ 7:05am

I blind man walks into a bar. He didn't see it coming when it hit him.

#52

❤ Sly Succubus ❤ Jun 9, 2023 @ 9:38am

Where does the Chess player go to buy new pieces?
The Pawn Shop

#53

dobrowol Jun 9, 2023 @ 9:56am

Where do elephants store their clothes? In their trunks.
What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.

#54

Chaosolous Jun 9, 2023 @ 9:59am

I dropped a window into an incinerator and it was a real pane in the ash to get out.

#55

saranacX Jun 9, 2023 @ 10:00am

Originally posted by Nepgineer Gaming:
Where does the Chess player go to buy new pieces?
The Pawn Shop

Oh this reminds me. I've said it a million times before but I'll say it again.

What did the German chess teacher say to his student when he asked him if a queen is worth 10 pawns?

NEIN!

#56

Masque Jun 9, 2023 @ 10:11am

Q: Why don't you ever see an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?
A: Because they're so *good* at it.

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: So they can hide in cherry trees.

#57

saranacX Jun 9, 2023 @ 10:17am

Originally posted by Masque:
Q: Why don't you ever see an elephant hiding in a cherry tree?
A: Because they're so *good* at it.

Q: Why do elephants paint their toenails red?
A: So they can hide in cherry trees.

Confucius say: Dumb man climbs tree to get cherry, wise man spreads limbs.

#58