How to cope when your sister gets married?

[I'm_Tired]

Sister and I are close as siblings. We grew up and rely on each other for support together.

It hurts me knowing she won't be home with us (me and parent) anymore.

She won't be the same (?) after having a new life with her soon to be husband that I refuse to get along except the occasional forced greets just for the "appearance" to avoid my pissing parents off.

I'm not sure I can cope knowing she won't be home and her room will be empty, it just doesn't feel right.

[Shiro♌]

Originally posted by Leitwolf:

Originally posted by Shiro♌:

What?
I can read, it takes four to six years to graduate.
If we assume that just elementary school and highschool do take thirteen years, you're already at your age of twenties and you do gotta get to the college, making it a range of ~24 - 26 years.
So, yes, one does kinda study „until thirties“, and let's not talk about how they don't even get hired because they do lack the experiences within the field they have studied for.
They'd rather hire less educated people, with more experiences, resulting in having to pay them less because they don't deserve as much due to their education level.

Good for you that you've been lucky enough to be financially stable so early, but this generation isn't so lucky, and so you shouldn't projecting your experiences onto them because we do no longer live in the times when and where living was affordable if you've taken a part job while studying.
Thirties is very much acceptable, as one has to make money for it in the first place.. And even if the person has managed to graduate from college while studying the medicine, it's gonna take them over six years to make enough to afford a house.
Sure, paying a rent would be of an option, but that doesn't get people who don't earn as much as doctors do anywhere, taking in mind the global inflation and how expensive even food and electricity bills have gotten in the past three years.

I haven't taken a look at OP's profile because I do very much doubt, it'd have helped me to gather some more insight and understand his situation.
I'd need to know some personal informations, and there's no way I'm asking for something I don't even care about and get into their privacy.

Lets agree to disagree.

OP is out anyway. I doubt he wants serious help but affirmation

If that's how you wish to approach this discussion, I'm not gonna argue or pressure you to keep discussing it. It's your call, and I'm gonna respect that.

Rather than expecting to receive help, OP has more likely looked for some opinions of how'd other people view such a situation, so he'd know how do other people behave when it comes to such events.

[Majestic Turkey]

Your sister is not your friend.

Your role is to be a good uncle and produce cousins for her children to play with.

[☮ne✟rue𝓢ax☯n]

I've got 2 older sisters. I don't recall having to cope when they got married. Other than their surnames, they didn't change, they are still my same old sisters.

They left home before they were married.

The fact that you don't like the soon to be husband, sounds like a you problem. I didn't always overly like my sisters boyfriends, but not really my problem, as I'm not the one who would be getting cosy with him.

Go out and find yourself another woman who you can rely on and get support from. The "support" is even better when you are not related.

[Q-T_3.14.exe]

Originally posted by ☮ne✟rue𝓢ax☯n:

I've got 2 older sisters. I don't recall having to cope when they got married. Other than their surnames, they didn't change, they are still my same old sisters.

Same here. They are the same and they visit me sometimes.

Originally posted by Majestic Turkey:

Your sister is not your friend.

Your role is to be a good uncle and produce cousins for her children to play with.

That is a boring role...

[Nekoborg]

Originally posted by Sleepy:

How to cope when your sister gets married?
Sister and I are close as siblings. We grew up and rely on each other for support together.

It hurts me knowing she won't be home with us (me and parent) anymore.

She won't be the same (?) after having a new life with her soon to be husband that I refuse to get along except the occasional forced greets just for the "appearance" to avoid my pissing parents off.

I'm not sure I can cope knowing she won't be home and her room will be empty, it just doesn't feel right.

By getting married yourself

[xAlphaStarOmegax]

That's the sad part of life: everything changes; nothing ever stays the same. I had a brother that I thought I was close to, but he has a weird fetish for women who are older than him and is very controlling. Well, he is dating some lady now who has pulled him away from friends and family. He doesn't talk to me because of her, and for the longest time, it really hurt me and made me depressed. Now, I am no longer really saddened by it. I am just disappointed that when he would say that he loved me, none of it was really true. Love isn't a noun; it's a verb; it's what you do. Words are cheap; actions speak louder. I forgive him and other family members who have mistreated me, but I will never forget.

[Xautos]

My sister got married to a man almost old enough to be her father (that's fine, my family members like big age gaps between partners and even i'm attracted to much younger women), they have several youngsters running around now. I was close with my sister growing up at one point but she changed in a few weeks when she visited relatives just shortly before her teenage years and since then we have become estranged.

So when she married someone else, i was never invited to the event and neither did i know of her first pregnancy until she was about 7 months in, i didn't know of her other kids until was told years later.

so what if she married someone else? i could care less! that's her choice and i'm glad she found someone to be with and have children with as well. I don't like her husband, he's an actual idiot. i'm not saying that as an insult, i'm saying it for what it actually means. Without my sister to push back on the worst of his ideas, my sister would be as doomed as he is, deep in debt, borrowing heavily off everyone while some how making enough money to go to disneyland in Florida.

[Nekoborg]

Originally posted by xAlphaStarOmegax:

That's the sad part of life: everything changes; nothing ever stays the same. I had a brother that I thought I was close to, but he has a weird fetish for women who are older than him and is very controlling. Well, he is dating some lady now who has pulled him away from friends and family. He doesn't talk to me because of her, and for the longest time, it really hurt me and made me depressed. Now, I am no longer really saddened by it. I am just disappointed that when he would say that he loved me, none of it was really true. Love isn't a noun; it's a verb; it's what you do. Words are cheap; actions speak louder. I forgive him and other family members who have mistreated me, but I will never forget.

If she makes your brother feel REAL GOOD then there is no reason not to support him.

Why not find someone that makes you happy and feel REAL GOOD too?

[xAlphaStarOmegax]

Originally posted by Leitwolf:

Originally posted by xAlphaStarOmegax:

That's the sad part of life: everything changes; nothing ever stays the same. I had a brother that I thought I was close to, but he has a weird fetish for women who are older than him and is very controlling. Well, he is dating some lady now who has pulled him away from friends and family. He doesn't talk to me because of her, and for the longest time, it really hurt me and made me depressed. Now, I am no longer really saddened by it. I am just disappointed that when he would say that he loved me, none of it was really true. Love isn't a noun; it's a verb; it's what you do. Words are cheap; actions speak louder. I forgive him and other family members who have mistreated me, but I will never forget.

Actually love can also be a noun. Especially when it is described as "an intense feeling of deep affection.".

Some people can love, but not show it.

My point is that love without some form of action is meaningless. For instance, I can tell someone who is hungry and freezing on the streets to be warmed and filled and then go on my merry way, but are my words going to change anything if there's no action behind them?

[Xautos]

Originally posted by Sleepy:

I'm not sure I can cope knowing she won't be home and her room will be empty, it just doesn't feel right.

spare a thought for your parents, when you leave home they have to deal with the empty nest syndrome. they'll want to remain in close contact with you and your sister be there to hug both of you every so often, know what you are doing and if you will do enough to remember tham and include them in your life.

All their hopes and dreams rest within you and your sister, they want to be there for all those major feats in your personal lives. first girlfriend, having your girlfriend meet the parents, getting married, first child.. all that stuff they want to be part of. So when you think about your sister and how you can't cope with it, your parents will have it tougher.

[JEZEBEL]

can we talk in private sleeps like can i message you dont want to say what i was gonna so everyone can see it?