Is sex really like the main thing about relationships to most people?

[Shodan]

I literally couldn't care less 99.99% of the time and that's the last reason why I want to have a girlfriend. I'm starting to feel like I'm completely naive and out of touch, like it's an incredibly common, casual thing and as normal as a handshake, also the biggest purpose of being in a relationship, even. I really hope this isn't the case or I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥... figuratively.

[Netaris]

Opprinnelig skrevet av GunsForBucks:

I am pretty sure if he states that with "I have always considered.." that they are just stating their opinion on it and he can deem them whatever he likes to himself. Actually they are saying people should just be themselves so I don't get why you seem offended at all.

Unless I am confused of course, wouldn't be the first or probably the last time

I value honesty and courage above all and you need to be honest and brave to assume your primal parts in a society so plagued by puritans today. I prefer peoples being strange but themselves than being hypocrits. I don't have time to lose with fictionnal characters builded to be good looking in society, they're boring anyway. I also consider that religions, political ideologies and social pressure corrupt individuals, I prefer when they free themselves from such influences.

That's why I like japaneses, who are way more liberated than us on the subject and who produce really weird things as a result sometimes ... But at least, that's not boring.

[Not Big Surprise]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Ad Victoriam !:

Opprinnelig skrevet av GunsForBucks:

I am pretty sure if he states that with "I have always considered.." that they are just stating their opinion on it and he can deem them whatever he likes to himself. Actually they are saying people should just be themselves so I don't get why you seem offended at all.

Unless I am confused of course, wouldn't be the first or probably the last time

I value honesty and courage above all and you need to be honest and brave to assume your primal parts in a society so plagued by puritans today. I prefer peoples being strange but themselves than being hypocrits. I don't have time to lose with fictionnal characters builded to be good looking in society, they're boring anyway. I also consider that religions, political ideologies and social pressure corrupt individuals, I prefer when they free themselves from such influences.

That's why I like japaneses, who are way more liberated than us on the subject and who produce really weird things as a result sometimes ... But at least, that's not boring.

you say all this, and yet you act like a puritan who'd see people being themselves in a relationship as a "perversion", or treat sex work as "a loss of dignity"

[Netaris]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Erin:

Opprinnelig skrevet av Ad Victoriam !:

The very mean of male / female relationships is to reproduce

I couldn't disagree more, in the modern world we no longer enter relationships solely to have kids

Well, it stay the main objective and the very reason why we have sexual organs to begin with. Our bodies are litterally made around that very concept of surviving and reproducing and contrary to our actual ideologies, it's not something that gonna dissapear. It stay true at all periods and in all places on earth, it's "universal".

We lie a lot, but not when we're honest about that. Is recreative sex bad ? No, of course not. But I consider that a relationship that doesn't bring any child to the world is a failed one. We not builded for sterile relationships, the very meaning of sex is to spread our genes.

[Netaris]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Not Big Surprise:

you say all this, and yet you act like a puritan who'd see people being themselves in a relationship as a "perversion", or treat sex work as "a loss of dignity"

A perversion is when something deviate from it's initial goal or meaning. The very goal of male / female relationship is to reproduce. So yes, sterile sex is a perversion, not in a religious way, but in a biological way at least. I don't say it as an insult, it's more of an observation, peoples do what they want with their body.

[GunsForBucks]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Ad Victoriam !:

Opprinnelig skrevet av Erin:

I couldn't disagree more, in the modern world we no longer enter relationships solely to have kids

Well, it stay the main objective and the very reason why we have sexual organs to begin with. Our bodies are litterally made around that very concept of surviving and reproducing and contrary to our actual ideologies, it's not something that gonna dissapear. It stay true at all periods and in all places on earth, it's "universal".

We lie a lot, but not when we're honest about that. Is recreative sex bad ? No, of course not. But I consider that a relationship that doesn't bring any child to the world is a failed one. We not builded for sterile relationships, the very meaning of sex is to spread our genes.

To be fair there are things that do reproduce asexually but they don't have sex organs.

[Netaris]

Opprinnelig skrevet av GunsForBucks:

To be fair there are things that do reproduce asexually but they don't have sex organs.

Indeed, but we are humans, that's not how we do things.

[ʙᴜɴ.ᴇ]

not for me.

I don't focus on that at all in a relationship.

I look for companionship, someone I can love and trust and have fun with whilst living through life. Sex to me will only be something I gotta do when the time comes to start a family.

[Not Big Surprise]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Ad Victoriam !:

Opprinnelig skrevet av Erin:

I couldn't disagree more, in the modern world we no longer enter relationships solely to have kids

Well, it stay the main objective and the very reason why we have sexual organs to begin with. Our bodies are litterally made around that very concept of surviving and reproducing and contrary to our actual ideologies, it's not something that gonna dissapear. It stay true at all periods and in all places on earth, it's "universal".

We lie a lot, but not when we're honest about that. Is recreative sex bad ? No, of course not. But I consider that a relationship that doesn't bring any child to the world is a failed one. We not builded for sterile relationships, the very meaning of sex is to spread our genes.

there is no main objective
and the only failed relationship is one where abuse is present

we are not our bodies, we are not our species, we are individuals with our own ambitions and goals, and you can't pretend like a relationship is a failure just because they have no kids

or what, do relationships end when menopause hits? where do infertile people fit into this retrograde worldview?

[spughetti]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Ad Victoriam !:

Well, it stay the main objective and the very reason why we have sexual organs to begin with. Our bodies are litterally made around that very concept of surviving and reproducing and contrary to our actual ideologies, it's not something that gonna dissapear. It stay true at all periods and in all places on earth, it's "universal".

We lie a lot, but not when we're honest about that. Is recreative sex bad ? No, of course not. But I consider that a relationship that doesn't bring any child to the world is a failed one. We not builded for sterile relationships, the very meaning of sex is to spread our genes.

I don't want to have kids, and I definitely won't be able to by the time I get into a relationship. I will not, and cannot get into a relationship with the intention of having a biological child. The only reason for me to have sex is to build a bond with someone or to have an orgasm.

The only "main objective" is what we want to achieve as individuals, not what mother nature wants us to do.

[Not Big Surprise]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Ad Victoriam !:

Opprinnelig skrevet av Not Big Surprise:

you say all this, and yet you act like a puritan who'd see people being themselves in a relationship as a "perversion", or treat sex work as "a loss of dignity"

A perversion is when something deviate from it's initial goal or meaning. The very goal of male / female relationship is to reproduce. So yes, sterile sex is a perversion, not in a religious way, but in a biological way at least. I don't say it as an insult, it's more of an observation, peoples do what they want with their body.

there is no goal
your entire view of "perversion" hinges on the assumption that things have some inherent biological purpose we must follow, when in reality the idea of "purpose" doesn't even make sense without intelligent life like ourselves

purpose doesn't precede us, we give purpose to things

[Netaris]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Not Big Surprise:

there is no main objective
and the only failed relationship is one where abuse is present

we are not our bodies, we are not our species, we are individuals with our own ambitions and goals, and you can't pretend like a relationship is a failure just because they have no kids

or what, do relationships end when menopause hits? where do infertile people fit into this retrograde worldview?

Well, menopause prevent from reaching the main goal again, that's why you want to have childrens before that. And later you continue to enjoy doing agreable things the same as before, nothing wrong with that. And yes, infertile peoples are by definition peoples unable to reproduce naturally, so they're unable to reach the main goal to contribute to our evolutionary process.

Anyway, biology isn't retrogarde, it's just raw reality, without anything to sweeten it or to make it more romantic. That's why it's valuable, because it's something that is always true about humans, no matter the period or the place. What's retrograde is to think that we can put morals above realities, to think that our wishes matter more than the reality itself.

Opprinnelig skrevet av Not Big Surprise:

purpose doesn't precede us, we give purpose to things

Indeed, I agree with that and that's why I've decided to use my will to reinforce my instincts instead of fighting them like most peoples do. My purpose is to accomplish what's my body is made for : performance, survival, reproduction, etc. To exploit my potential fully, in a society were unhealthy habits are encouraged.

Opprinnelig skrevet av Erin:

I don't want to have kids, and I definitely won't be able to by the time I get into a relationship. I will not, and cannot get into a relationship with the intention of having a biological child. The only reason for me to have sex is to build a bond with someone or to have an orgasm.

The only "main objective" is what we want to achieve as individuals, not what mother nature wants us to do.

Well, you do what you want with your body. But my goal is to become the best human being possible, not in moral, because I dont value that, but at least physically. I do a lot of sport, mainly climbing as it's a very good way to reinforce arms, agility and balance. Because, being fat is a pervertion too from my point of view, our body is made to move, not to sit all day long on a chair. Same for our brain, it's made to create things, to do calculations, orientation, etc. My goal is to become the healthiest possible in an unhealthy society. With good results so far.

[sleeps]

this is worse than i expected

[Shodan]

I don't think there's a correct answer to what's been going on in the recent comments, just different viewpoints, so you're all not getting anywhere with this. Just saying. I mean, the whole thread is like that, but it feels like you all are trying to prove something that can't be proven.

[sleeps]

if you don't agree with conservative then sure go on but hating and consider them the worst people is the reason why we never get along with it.

[Netaris]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Shodan:

I don't think there's a correct answer to what's been going on in the recent comments, just different viewpoints, so you're all not getting anywhere with this. Just saying. I mean, the whole thread is like that, but it feels like you all are trying to prove something that can't be proven.

There isn't any of course, but the discussion itself is interresting. The best discussions are when peoples disagree, when everyone agree, there is no discussion at all, it's only validation.