Is sex really like the main thing about relationships to most people?

[Shodan]

I literally couldn't care less 99.99% of the time and that's the last reason why I want to have a girlfriend. I'm starting to feel like I'm completely naive and out of touch, like it's an incredibly common, casual thing and as normal as a handshake, also the biggest purpose of being in a relationship, even. I really hope this isn't the case or I'm ♥♥♥♥♥♥... figuratively.

[Rio]

Romance died when pair bonding died. The more people your with, the harder it is to pair bond, because you think of all you used to have with everyone else.

[OoOoOoooOOoOoorgle]

Escrito originalmente por Jaded:

People these days have lost touch with romance because the world we live in now is all about getting things cheap and quick. We're so privileged that we suffer from it.
For example, many people get addicted to games and watching videos online. Yet it makes people unhappy, they get their enjoyment so easily that it can't be enjoyed anymore.
Another example is food. Many people are fat and are yet wasteful with food. They develop food addictions, yet are still unhappy.
Same goes for sex. Hook-up culture is a curse that has gone out of hand because of how easily it is to get what you want. It's not about love anymore, it's simply about having a easy way to achieve sex. Just watch porn or find someone online near you who is also in the mood.
Sex-positive people have been tainting society. It starts with people advocating for sexual freedom first, and then it goes out of hand like those others we have to deal with now.
Men start sexually harassing women think it's okay, women start selling their bodies like they have no dignity left.
But oversexualization was always a problem, it's just easier to act on those feelings now.

Pretty much agree with all of this. Terms like "sex-positive" are chronically misused and meaningless these days. Most of the time they're misappropriated by people who are not sex-positive, rather sex-fixated.


But I do think much of it is also informed by our culturally bipolar treatment of sex. For young people it is usually represented as "forbidden" - which of course only makes young folk want it more (just like drugs, alcohol, etc). Then you have the flipside of media culture, where audiences have practically come to require sex's presence within their entertainment, or they can't enjoy it (I'm lookin' at you, nude/porn mods). But the mind-♥♥♥♥ doesn't stop there, because then elsewhere it'll be scrubbed or kept out of media completely, even when there is a good reason to include it contextually, as if sex itself never existed. It's like we culturally cannot decide if we're okay with it or not. Don't even get me started on ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ like "abstinence education" programs. Oh and add increasingly easy access to pornography via technology, and it's even worse and even muddier, again.

When someone is exposed to all of that back-to-back-to-back starting from an early age, it's no wonder people are so confused that they fall back on their basest hedonic animal instincts. Many are basically driven mad by this, which I think is part of why they end up constantly hurling themselves at anyone and everyone who agrees to touch them. Or, in the very worst cases, at people who didn't agree.


I think if we were capable of acknowledging and talking about sex without going way overboard one way or the other, people would have a more healthy view of it and know how and when to keep it within a reasonable context.

It has different levels of importance to different people, and that's fine, but it really should never be a core deciding factor in whether two people pursue a relationship or not. There are so many much more important factors that go into making a relationship strong, but it's true that these days it does seem like nobody knows (or won't acknowledge) that.

[Wolf Ticket]

Don't despair.....the right man is out there for you.

[=(^ ^)=]

Escrito originalmente por Jaded:

Escrito originalmente por =(^ ^)=:

Indeed. A relation without sex is a waste of time.

Not everyone wants sex, so this depends on the person. If you think every relationship solely relies on sex, you're kind close-minded. Some of us just like love instead of unfiltered lust.

Lmao.

[Auckes]

Escrito originalmente por Irene ❤:

It's really no big deal. Couples do it less to none in the long run. In the test of time in relationship commitment, sex has little to no value.

If you feel it's something big and important, you're just being manipulated by others who have desires.

If couples do it less, then that is a big deal. That means it's either one partner does not spark the fancy of the other, the "middle age crisis", or they use outside partners to get some.

Also, remember that passing the test of time, rarely requires to pass it with "good grades". Just like a "marathon" or something, VS quick burst of a single run. Genuinely long-lasting relationships, require extraordinary individuals. Those are pretty rare to come by out there, in life.

[Xero_Daxter]

It's part of it. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship if I ain't getting any, know what I mean?

[Uncle Sam]

Escrito originalmente por Jaded:

People these days have lost touch with romance because the world we live in now is all about getting things cheap and quick. We're so privileged that we suffer from it.
For example, many people get addicted to games and watching videos online. Yet it makes people unhappy, they get their enjoyment so easily that it can't be enjoyed anymore.
Another example is food. Many people are fat and are yet wasteful with food. They develop food addictions, yet are still unhappy.
Same goes for sex. Hook-up culture is a curse that has gone out of hand because of how easily it is to get what you want. It's not about love anymore, it's simply about having a easy way to achieve sex. Just watch porn or find someone online near you who is also in the mood.
Sex-positive people have been tainting society. It starts with people advocating for sexual freedom first, and then it goes out of hand like those others we have to deal with now.
Men start sexually harassing women think it's okay, women start selling their bodies like they have no dignity left.
But oversexualization was always a problem, it's just easier to act on those feelings now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TvvTacquttk
Bingo, agreed!

Also what you're talking about reminds me of the rat utopia experiment to a lesser degree. Given the erratic behaviour, the prone to addiction behaviour, the loneliness crisis, the mental health crisis, the relantionship crisis, among many other factors going on in several countries across the globe.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NgGLFozNM2o

[Holografix]

Having a low libido or being disinterested in sexual activity shouldn't mean you start a thread about how people with high libidos or different orientations are bad for society.

get a clue.

[xAlphaStarOmegax]

Look around; unfortunately, it's popular to sleep with as many people as you can. So to many people, it is the main thing. To me, no. As a Christian, I remained a virgin until marriage, and so did my Christian partner (caregiver). I was 23; he was 31.

[Siluva]

Because that's how relationship is sold to people nowaday : another consummable product.
Take, consumme, throw it away, pick another one, repeat.

Long term run, solid boundings, deep feelings and such mean nothing.

Sex is part of a relationship, but sex isn't a relationship.

[Acetyl]

Escrito originalmente por permanent name:

Creating artificial barriers to sex in order to inflate its value and make people hornier.

Thus building large systems which have sexual sublimation and transmutation at their "energetic" core. Management of libido. On the - of the X axis you have sublimation, ranging from the path of least resistance (flipping sex drive into aggression, outsourcing the sex drive to powerful figures, organizations) to full sublimation. On the + there is hypersexual behavior, weaponization and commoditization of sex. On the + Y axis there is directing libido to its more natural channels of outlet (Brave New World). On the -, nullification of the libido (The Giver).

Organization, systematization, instrumentalization. Weave the threads into the hearts and minds, the world pulls and plucks away. Like musical instruments, or puppets. You don't create water, you find a spring, make a well, build an aqueduct. Anything that still exists did something that worked and dissolved everything that didn't work. Either that or it was a product of opportunity, and formed a behavioral sink the organism is incapable of escaping from.

[Tsubame ⭐]

For many people it is, and I would imagine it would be at least a very important part of the relationship, especially if you expect it to progress to anything serious, rather than being just "a very good friend" instead.

[L1qu1dator]

Escrito originalmente por 💀 Sub Rosa 💀:

It's the main thing about most of male-female interaction. Why tf would I ever talk to a female if I have no desire to have sex with her? It's a waste of time.

It's really sad to think that that guy's point of view is quite common

[Vakers]

Escrito originalmente por Jaded:

People these days have lost touch with romance because the world we live in now is all about getting things cheap and quick. We're so privileged that we suffer from it.
For example, many people get addicted to games and watching videos online. Yet it makes people unhappy, they get their enjoyment so easily that it can't be enjoyed anymore.
Another example is food. Many people are fat and are yet wasteful with food. They develop food addictions, yet are still unhappy.
Same goes for sex. Hook-up culture is a curse that has gone out of hand because of how easily it is to get what you want. It's not about love anymore, it's simply about having a easy way to achieve sex. Just watch porn or find someone online near you who is also in the mood.
Sex-positive people have been tainting society. It starts with people advocating for sexual freedom first, and then it goes out of hand like those others we have to deal with now.
Men start sexually harassing women think it's okay, women start selling their bodies like they have no dignity left.
But oversexualization was always a problem, it's just easier to act on those feelings now.

You should try having a woman step on your testicles, or perhaps let her breastfeed you. You will rethink your opinion in this post.

[Shodan]

Escrito originalmente por Varus:

Escrito originalmente por Jaded:

People these days have lost touch with romance because the world we live in now is all about getting things cheap and quick. We're so privileged that we suffer from it.
For example, many people get addicted to games and watching videos online. Yet it makes people unhappy, they get their enjoyment so easily that it can't be enjoyed anymore.
Another example is food. Many people are fat and are yet wasteful with food. They develop food addictions, yet are still unhappy.
Same goes for sex. Hook-up culture is a curse that has gone out of hand because of how easily it is to get what you want. It's not about love anymore, it's simply about having a easy way to achieve sex. Just watch porn or find someone online near you who is also in the mood.
Sex-positive people have been tainting society. It starts with people advocating for sexual freedom first, and then it goes out of hand like those others we have to deal with now.
Men start sexually harassing women think it's okay, women start selling their bodies like they have no dignity left.
But oversexualization was always a problem, it's just easier to act on those feelings now.

You should try having a woman step on your testicles, or perhaps let her breastfeed you. You will rethink your opinion in this post.

She actually is a woman.