Anyone know some funny jokes?

[Carlos Chircop]

Can't think of one...Share some pls

[LAMBENT LΣVIATHAN]

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
He's all right now .

[grounded in reality]

origin sales.

[Shasow]

There was once a man
He always wore a blue hat and a green sweatshirt
He walked into a store
But not quickly, you see
He walked very slowly into this one store
The store, being open 24/7, tolerated his slowness
He walked all around the store in his blue hat and green sweatshirt
He was looking for something
Something of special value
He kept searching for it in this store
The store became suspicious of his slow actions
And they questioned him
But he did not answer
Instead, he showed them
He showed them a picture
A picture of a shovel
A shovel with a face painted on it
This was no ordinary shovel, you see
It was a special shovel
The man in the blue hat and green sweatshirt's special shovel
The clerk at the store said "No",
They didn't have the shovel
This made the man in the blue hat and green sweatshirt sad
And so, he went to exit the store
But before he was able to exit the store,
A woman with a red hat and orange sweatshirt walked into the store
She walked into the store very slowly
And the man saw her
And his heart thumped
She was carrying a shovel with a face painted on it
Yes, this was the shovel the man was looking for
But, he suddenly realized
Maybe it wasn't the shovel he was looking for
Maybe it was the woman
The woman in the red hat and orange sweatshirt
Nope.
The man pulled out a gun from under his green sweatshirt
And shot the woman and the store clerk.
He took the shovel and ran back home.
All while dressed in a blue hat and green sweatshirt
The end.

[Laptop]

As I threw my Boomerang I began to wonder how it always managed to turn around in flight...

...and then it hit me.

[em]

What did the rude prism say to the light beam that smacked into him?

Get bent!

[Daydream Uzume]

What do you call a computer that sings? A DELL! (Adele)

[Mr Keefy]

A man man goes into hospital to have a vasectomy and the Doctor shows up a little worried and says.

Dr: "Iam very sorry sir, we got your chart mixed up with someone else and instead of the vasectomy you have had a full sex change operation"

Man: "you are joking?"

Dr: "we don't have a sense of humour in this hospital, no I am not"

Man: "so you mean to tell me I will never get another erection?"

Dr: "of course you can but it wont be yours"

[Mr. Stockington]

What did the lion eat for dinner? The mane course.

[Gilmore]

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.

[chiefputsilao✖️ping]

how do you know there's a fool in a cockfighting arena? someone brought a duck

how do you know the fights in the cockfighting arena were rigged by a a crime syndicate?the duck won

[Gilmore]

What do you call a pig with three eyes? a piiig

[chiefputsilao✖️ping]

taken from:

http://www.chucknorrisjokes.net/

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

When the boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.

[MEOWMEOWMAN]

Maya wins.

[TheAnonymousGoat]

Socialisation, hahahaha

Ok heres a really good joke:
What is black and white and red all over A penguin with a knife in its back

[chiefputsilao✖️ping]

i once ask my doctor how much he bill his patient.
he said per question and asked what my second question is.