AMERICAN CHEESE IS NOT REAL CHEESE! WAKE UP PEOPLE!

[Choccy]

Wtf is wrong with people, american cheese is not real cheese. Have you even looked at the abomination called american 'cheese' slices? It looks like a synthetic yellow square. IDK why people eat them.

Even worse, fast food chains put them in their burgers and shill that plastic as real cheese. Its outrageous. If every cheese in the world goes extinct and only american cheese is left as the only 'cheese', id rather go vegan. The only thing I hate more than vegan food is american cheese, and thats telling something.

There is a fast food joint a few blocks away from my workplace. It didnt sell the best food in the world, but I was serviceable, you know a sandwich to ease those crunch hours pain. I always had a grilled cheese sandwich, with real cheese (I checked), but one day I went to the place, ordered a sandwich and to my horror, saw the guy pull out, AMERICAN CHEESE wtf is wrong with you, why would you ruin something so perfect. I couldnt ask him to cancel my order, because by the time I composed myself the sandwich was already on the grill.

So, I took my order and did a walk of shame back to my office. I opened my package and saw my corrupted sandwich. Oh how perfect you were before the evil corporate tortured, teared and corrupted your soul. I looked at it with pity, the sandwich looked back. I dont speak sandwich but at that point, I felt connected to that sandwich at a spiritual level, I felt its sorrow, all its ups and downs, its memories both good and bad. Suddenly I felt the sandwich's presence, his tortured cries echoing in my skull, as if asking me to end his suffering. I didnt want to do it, but I had no other choice, I cant leave the sandwich to suffer, not like this. The universe choose me for this, this is my destiny, to save its poor soul from an eternity of torment. I had to do it.

Teary eyed, I bit into the sandwich, begging him for forgiveness on behalf of humanity for what we have done to it. The taste of american cheese hit my tongue, the neurons in my brain fired up, my body wanted to reject that abomination straight away, but I held on. I swallowed. A burning pain erupted all along me esophagus, my stomach rumbled and grumbled, my stomach acid boiling like the lava from the deepest pits of hell, but I held on. My stomach twisted and turned, as If it wanted to punish me for my insolence. How could I have done such act? What was it thinking? It asked. But I knew, I deserved it. I bought that sandwich to such existence, and I alone shall end it. I will not let the sandwich suffer with american cheese as its heart. Hours of grueling pain late, it was done. I have repented for my sins. But Iam not done yet. I must keep such barbarity from happening.

It the collective fault of all the humanity which have allowed american cheese to fester and grow in out world. I call out to each and every one of you. Join my crusade against the heretic american cheese masquerading as real cheese. Boycott it, spread awareness among your friends and family. Do not let this heresy grow any further.

WE. MUST. STOP. AMERICAN. CHEESE.

[kbiz]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Ad Victoriam !:

We have more than 300 different cheeses here, we watch you eating your yellow toxic paste with disgust and pity.

Enjoy the french superiority : https://www.pinterest.fr/pin/476889048017505553/

Nice topographical map of France.

Yeah, France is the cheese capital of the world. I like how there is one cheese from Corsica too.

Just had some garlic and herb boursin on a sesame baguette earlier.

[GhostyOsty]

It's not cheese because it doesn't even melt.

[Netaris]

Opprinnelig skrevet av kbiz:

Nice topographical map of France.

Yeah, France is the cheese capital of the world. I like how there is one cheese from Corsica too.

Just had some garlic and herb boursin on a sesame baguette earlier.

There is a lot more than that in reality, only the more famous are listed obviously. ^^

Boursin is a recent one, it was created in the 50s or something like that in normandy, my native region. I prefer the traditionnal camembert (we can trace it back in France History to the 1550s) but yep, boursin is good too. 400 years of difference between the two.

[Tsubame ⭐]

I am not a big fan of American cheedar slices by themselves either; that being said, they go well with burgers or poutine fries.

[kbiz]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Ad Victoriam !:

Opprinnelig skrevet av kbiz:

Nice topographical map of France.

Yeah, France is the cheese capital of the world. I like how there is one cheese from Corsica too.

Just had some garlic and herb boursin on a sesame baguette earlier.

There is a lot more than that in reality, only the more famous are listed obviously. ^^

Boursin is a recent one, it was created in the 50s or something like that in normandy, my native region. I prefer the traditionnal camembert (we can trace it back in France History to the 1550s) but yep, boursin is good too. 400 years of difference between the two.

Nice area. I was surprised to find out that Mont Saint Michel was never conquered ever.

I'm a big fan of brie too - both baked and regular. St Agur, gorgonzola (oops, Italian)... Basically, I love cheese and assume it all comes from France.

American cheese doesn't compare. Although America can make some good cheese in various areas - like Wisconsin and Oregon

[Pieshaman]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Ad Victoriam !:

Opprinnelig skrevet av kbiz:

Nice topographical map of France.

Yeah, France is the cheese capital of the world. I like how there is one cheese from Corsica too.

Just had some garlic and herb boursin on a sesame baguette earlier.

There is a lot more than that in reality, only the more famous are listed obviously. ^^

Boursin is a recent one, it was created in the 50s or something like that in normandy, my native region. I prefer the traditionnal camembert (we can trace it back in France History to the 1550s) but yep, boursin is good too. 400 years of difference between the two.

really? what kind of frenchman are you to even compare a real cheese with a lowlife factory product.
I heard stories of people disappear and never been heard of again, because they called boursin a cheese.
I go collect your body for the museum and put a sign next to it : The only frenchman that called boursin "good"
They not even sell boursin at a proper french cheese market. It's supposed to go to us dutch people that were born without good taste.

[gugnihr]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Choccy:

Opprinnelig skrevet av gugnihr:

Real cheese is as disgusting as the worst quality "fake" cheese if you ask me.

The only kind of cheese I can tolerate is "good quality fake cheese"... at least the ones I'm used to.

You shall wander earth till the end of times because even the deepest pits of hell will not take you in for what you've just said.

Let's be honest, you know that there is no more space in hell because it's already full of those sinners who like to eat rotten milk and the stuff that grows in it :P

Also: "how can I become immortal?" "Do not eat cheese" "Ok, thanks :)"

[Auraplayer (Stir Crazy)]

Much like how porn is not a substitute on the real sweaty thing, so is my view on American cheese; sure, it's not the cheese of the cultured, but that doesn't stop me from enjoying the consumption of it.

[twoxsp]

It doesn't taste that good either I don't think, but it's really not that monsterous of a food. Weird, but it's won't kill you.

[Devsman]

I never have been able to get an answer on why American cheese isn't cheese, but it's vile and horrible either way.

Opprinnelig skrevet av Q-T_3.14.exe:

If it's not cheese, why is it called cheese?

Checkmate, irredentists!

It's generally not, actually. Most brands of American cheese use some obfuscation nonsense to not call itself cheese in the text that people actually read.

"Kraft singles," for example.

And if you do look close at the tiny text, there will be a laundry list of "kinda sorta but not really lol" adjectives around the word "cheese."

[Enterprofilenamehere]

It's okay on burgers or sandwiches, but cheddar is vastly superior in most situations where processed cheese is used.

[SMIFFY]

I like Maasdam on burgers, melts nicely and doesn't overpower the taste of the burger.

[Netaris]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Pieshaman:

really? what kind of frenchman are you to even compare a real cheese with a lowlife factory product.
I heard stories of people disappear and never been heard of again, because they called boursin a cheese.
I go collect your body for the museum and put a sign next to it : The only frenchman that called boursin "good"
They not even sell boursin at a proper french cheese market. It's supposed to go to us dutch people that were born without good taste.

I'm really happy that you love our industrial products (still better than the murican yellow toxic paste) and I thanks you for the money you give us to allow us to buy real cheese on our markets.

:3

[Pieshaman]

Opprinnelig skrevet av Ad Victoriam !:

Opprinnelig skrevet av Pieshaman:

really? what kind of frenchman are you to even compare a real cheese with a lowlife factory product.
I heard stories of people disappear and never been heard of again, because they called boursin a cheese.
I go collect your body for the museum and put a sign next to it : The only frenchman that called boursin "good"
They not even sell boursin at a proper french cheese market. It's supposed to go to us dutch people that were born without good taste.

I'm really happy that you love our industrial products (still better than the murican yellow toxic paste) and I thanks you for the money you give us to allow us to buy real cheese on our markets.

:3

There is a dutch tv show about food and on one of the episodes they go to france and take all these "french" cheeses we have like boursin and they show it to cheese vendors at a market and they all look to them like they came from another planet

[Choccy]

Opprinnelig skrevet av twoxsp:

It doesn't taste that good either I don't think, but it's really not that monsterous of a food. Weird, but it's won't kill you.

It will destroy your soul. Make you a slave of the fake cheese.