I'm going to beat Satan and I need your help

[Yavin Shikanoko]

Yes that's right I want to fight Satan with my own paws. I will destroy him, I can't explain how but I will I have been training all my life in melee combat and with multiple weapons, my plan is to reach the hell gate some Soviet scientist drilled years ago, I'm fully prepared and I have all the gear to accomplish my mission all by myself.

Why I need your help then you may ask? Well first of all reaching Satan is harder than you may think. First of all the portal uses euclidian math to triangulate your position in hell so drilling another place on earth to reach Satan or even hell is a hit or miss since you don't know where are you going to land since I haven't ventured that much into hell.

Anyway returned to my initial topic, I need your help and anyone dumb or brave enough to follow me in my mission.

Right now the closes path to reach Satan's palace is through the Baphomet gorge.

Team A
Will need an ATV that can cross lava and with enough ammunition to kill hordes and hordes of demons, that will create a distraction for the palace guards.

An M1 ABRAMS or any equivalent tank to destroy any rock blocking the path for the ATV

Team B
They will guard the entrance and drill as much as they can so we can get a MIG 29 squadron and an A10 I have in my hangar

Team C
They will follow me to infiltrate Satan's palace, we will need silenced rifles. We will go through the sewers, just follow me archangel Gabriel revealed to me the Satan's palace blueprints

Me
I'm going to fight Satan myself

Once he is dead Team C will set C4 charges along the palace and specially at the altar in the main room.

Team B, from your position you will be able to see the palace fall that's you signal to flee

Team A, if you drilled wide enough for the jets to get in jump into them and destroy as much as you can, Satan doesn't have AA artillery

Once everything is done we leave hell and seal the gate once for all.

We may never come back so take this as a one way ticket. We will attack on Halloween since it's a day off in hell so we will have less guards.

[GlaceonChireiden]

Are you mentally ok

[MinionJoe]

Originally posted by Yabin Koyōte ( ꈍwꈍ):

An M1 ABRAMS or any equivalent tank to destroy any rock blocking the path for the ATV

There's your problem, right there. Tanks are designed to destroy other tanks, not destroying rocks.

What you need is one of these:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_engineering_vehicle

If you have to have something based off of the M1 chassis, look at the Grizzly:

https://www.militaryfactory.com/armor/detail.php?armor_id=937

There was only one prototype built though.

[Rio]

I'm not going to help.

[ṼṏẌṏḭḊ]

Sorry, Yabin. I'm on team Santa.

[saranacX]

I bet OP's room smells like the dank stuff.

[Affronter]

Satan is just a misunderstood entity with social issues. He requires help with a mental health therapist, not a be-all-and-end-all battle.

[Grynn]

No thanks. Satan has been pretty chill with me.

[////]

start a fundraiser.

[76561198356019466]

On South Park Satan had a boxing match with Jesus.
Early in the fight Satan took a dive and it was later found out he had bet all his money on Jesus, so he made a fortune.

[Basarab Laiota]

i killed satan in Project Warlock woth rockets

[sleeps]

ok

recite the throne verse. now

[GlaceonChireiden]

Originally posted by ⛧Coeur du diable⛧:

You can't beat me, I'm aku,

Are you a talking mask that loses to a possibly-mentally-insane bandicoot

[sleeps]

idy why they named him aku. it make my head hurt. aku literally means "me" in malay and is always thrown alot XD

[Q-T_3.14.exe]

Originally posted by floofball:

idy why they named him aku. it make my head hurt. aku literally means "me" in malay and is always thrown alot XD

Aku is a man's name here, heck that's what we call Donald Duck.

[Yavin Shikanoko]

Originally posted by MinionJoe:

Originally posted by Yabin Koyōte ( ꈍwꈍ):

An M1 ABRAMS or any equivalent tank to destroy any rock blocking the path for the ATV

There's your problem, right there. Tanks are designed to destroy other tanks, not destroying rocks.

What you need is one of these:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Military_engineering_vehicle

If you have to have something based off of the M1 chassis, look at the Grizzly:

https://www.militaryfactory.com/armor/detail.php?armor_id=937

There was only one prototype built though.

Nice suggestion definitely gonna add one to the mission

Originally posted by saranacGator:

I bet OP's room smells like the dank stuff. :ws_peace:

I have been 11 months sober, no alcohol and no drugs besides my medications