So question, did you decide who you are?, or did someone else tell you who you are?

[Edward Von Worms]

my identity is a little fractured sometimes, because of the above, i like to think i am who i want to be but then i see others in me, it's a strange feeling almost like we are forever bound to each other. i can never truly be an independent entity? or if you can how?

[Ragnaroni]

Professor eredeti hozzászólása:

Ragnaroni eredeti hozzászólása:

That's one thing I've noticed, people say everything they do is ironic because they're afraid of being judged or something. They aren't authentic anymore

Authentic is multi purpose, it only depends on how we individually identify ourselves & judge others. To me it is a particular understanding in relation to the OP topic & the way we might all evaluate our own identity very differently.

I am sure that for many others, including you & i, have a much deeper understanding that places some type of reverence for our very own existence & comfortably reconciles the very purpose of being alive.

I agree. I'd say I'm comfortable with the way I am and I am willing to show the world, therefore I am authentic. (If i didn't understand your reply do keep in mind i just had several hours of classes lmao!)

[76561198278961361]

Professor eredeti hozzászólása:

brisket <3 (she/her) eredeti hozzászólása:

i am who i am, and i no longer let the expectations of others limit who i can be

Well said, it comes with the understanding that as a self sustaining individual, you are the creator of your own destiny.:)

now if only i would dare presenting as a girl irl instead of sticking to what others expect of me, that would be swell

[Professor]

brisket <3 (she/her) eredeti hozzászólása:

Professor eredeti hozzászólása:

Well said, it comes with the understanding that as a self sustaining individual, you are the creator of your own destiny.:)

now if only i would dare presenting as a girl irl instead of sticking to what others expect of me, that would be swell

You can identify with anything you want to, as long as it is your very own personal decision & you are absolutely sure it will be an inseparable part of you forever. It shouldn't matter what other people expect or think, because if it does then there is a doubt.

[76561198278961361]

Professor eredeti hozzászólása:

brisket <3 (she/her) eredeti hozzászólása:

now if only i would dare presenting as a girl irl instead of sticking to what others expect of me, that would be swell

You can identify with anything you want to, as long as it is your very own personal decision & you are absolutely sure it will be an inseparable part of you forever. It shouldn't matter what other people expect or think. because if it does then there is a doubt.

i already know i'm a girl for sure, it's just that virtually nobody in my irl circles would accept that, and i'm not strong enough to overcome the way most people would react
i was already too weak to handle my parents' reaction

it's not a matter of doubt coming from within, it's a matter of fear coming from outside factors

[Bomb Shot]

I choose to be my own boss.
Because I want to be a big boss.

[Professor]

Jade Strawberries eredeti hozzászólása:

Professor eredeti hozzászólása:

Well said, it comes with the understanding that as a self sustaining individual, you are the creator of your own destiny.:)

This is false.

Sometimes, things are out of your control. A trauma will turn you into something who you are not, thus causing further damage once you realize it.
While the time we're living in is more accepting than the last, people are still actively judging others for unjustified reasons and still fighting against the rights of the oppressed.

Yes, there are people who blame others for their own mistakes. But there are many people who are actually in such situations. I won't go around invalidating those people's experiences because a few people lie about it.

Regardless of circumstance, we act & react just like nature intended. It does not mean we are not responsible for our own choices & decisions. In the end we conduct our lives in accordance to our own abilities, whether positive or negative, it makes no difference.

The point is that they are our own, if I was hit by a vehicle & could never walk again, sure I would blame the driver for a while, but if i am to move forward with my new condition I must eventually take responsibility for my own life. I wouldn't be one to remain stuck in the past by blaming something or someone else.

[Professor]

76561198278961361 eredeti hozzászólása:

it's not a matter of doubt coming from within, it's a matter of fear coming from outside factors

We have no control over other peoples words or actions. We are only responsible for how we ourselves interpret them, as it is me who decides how it makes me feel.

[76561198278961361]

Professor eredeti hozzászólása:

brisket <3 eredeti hozzászólása:

it's not a matter of doubt coming from within, it's a matter of fear coming from outside factors

We have no control over other peoples words or actions. We are only responsible for how we ourselves interpret them, as it is me who decides how it makes me feel.

that doesn't really make a difference, though
what others may think, say, or do, still influences us and the actions we take

if i don't do something because i'm afraid of how others will react, that doesn't mean i don't want to do it, it just means i don't want to deal with other people's reactions
which, might i add, would more than likely not be justified

[Xero_Daxter]

When I was a baby I had no idea of anything until my parents told me.

“Your name is dax. You will serve under my command until you turn 18 aka 18 earth rotations around the sun. I will feed you, teach you, and care for you. Once that time comes you will be set free to venture off on your own. Just know that we will still be watching over you unconditionally.”

[Professor]

Professor eredeti hozzászólása:

We have no control over other peoples words or actions. We are only responsible for how we ourselves interpret them, as it is me who decides how it makes me feel.

76561198278961361 eredeti hozzászólása:

that doesn't really make a difference, though
what others may think, say, or do, still influences us and the actions we take

if i don't do something because i'm afraid of how others will react, that doesn't mean i don't want to do it, it just means i don't want to deal with other people's reactions
which, might i add, would more than likely not be justified

I can see what you are getting at, but on the one hand you say others influence you, then you say you don't want to deal with other peoples actions or reactions. The only point i am trying to make is that we do have some level of control. In this case it would be deciding to act/react or not.

I guess the other issue would be the sort of acceptance we receive, are we looking for other peoples approval or can we be fully satisfied with our very own unshakeable perspective?

[Rumpelcrutchskin]

Sometimes you don`t get to choose.

[76561198278961361]

Professor eredeti hozzászólása:

Professor eredeti hozzászólása:

We have no control over other peoples words or actions. We are only responsible for how we ourselves interpret them, as it is me who decides how it makes me feel.

brisket <3:76561198278961361 eredeti hozzászólása:

that doesn't really make a difference, though
what others may think, say, or do, still influences us and the actions we take

if i don't do something because i'm afraid of how others will react, that doesn't mean i don't want to do it, it just means i don't want to deal with other people's reactions
which, might i add, would more than likely not be justified

I can see what you are getting at, but on the one hand you say others influence you, then you say you don't want to deal with other peoples actions or reactions. The only point i am trying to make is that we do have some level of control.

in theory yes, but on practice the beliefs, expectations and ideas of others can limit the things we can feasibly dare doing, and this doesn't invalidate one's own ideas and desires in any way

I guess the other issue would be the sort of acceptance we receive, are we looking for other peoples approval or can we be fully satisfied with our very own unshakeable perspective?

i don't need other people's acceptance to know who i am, but it's not hard to imagine it'd be hard to live that way if everyone around you rejects that, is it?

[Squingus]

Sparky mark phillips eredeti hozzászólása:

my identity is a little fractured sometimes, because of the above, i like to think i am who i want to be but then i see others in me, it's a strange feeling almost like we are forever bound to each other. i can never truly be an independent entity? or if you can how?

I decide who I am

[Professor]

76561198278961361 eredeti hozzászólása:

in theory yes, but on practice the beliefs, expectations and ideas of others can limit the things we can feasibly dare doing, and this doesn't invalidate one's own ideas and desires in any way

i don't need other people's acceptance to know who i am, but it's not hard to imagine it'd be hard to live that way if everyone around you rejects that, is it?

Yes all very good points. Maybe its just me, as I can only assume that everybody understands we are solely responsible for our own choices & decisions. I am not talking about external circumstances that are out of our control rather those actions & reactions that we ourselves decide to make or not.

I understand it would be hard to live, when those around you reject who you are. But again it sounds like some type of self conditioning when faced with other peoples differing opinions that are so challenging to our very own ideals. Let me put it this way, if i don't like the colour red, it is not the colours fault, I am to blame for how I feel not necessarily others.

I agree with you that it should never invalidate one's own ideas & desires in any way, but this should also provide self fulfilling ways, to not be swayed by other peoples, beliefs, expectations & ideas. Difficult perhaps but maybe worry less of others opinions & only concentrate on your own happiness.

[76561198278961361]

Professor eredeti hozzászólása:

76561198278961361 eredeti hozzászólása:

in theory yes, but on practice the beliefs, expectations and ideas of others can limit the things we can feasibly dare doing, and this doesn't invalidate one's own ideas and desires in any way

i don't need other people's acceptance to know who i am, but it's not hard to imagine it'd be hard to live that way if everyone around you rejects that, is it?

Yes all very good points. Maybe its just me, as I can only assume that everybody understands we are solely responsible for our own choices & decisions. I am not talking about external circumstances that are out of our control rather those actions & reactions that we ourselves decide to make or not.

I understand it would be hard to live, when those around you reject who you are. But again it sounds like some type of self conditioning when faced with other peoples differing opinions that are so challenging to our very own ideals. Let me put it this way, if i don't like the colour red, it is not the colours fault, I am to blame for how I feel not necessarily others.

I agree with you that it should never invalidate one's own ideas & desires in any way, but this should also provide self fulfilling ways, to not be swayed by other peoples, beliefs, expectations & ideas. Difficult perhaps but maybe worry less of others opinions & only concentrate on your own happiness.

kinda hard not to worry about it when my livelihood depends on people who wouldn't accept who i am

hopefully college will be more accepting