How I ruined my friend circle.

[Akko Chan]

So I had a pretty nice crew of friends. Let's call them Karen, Sarah, Nathan, James and Amanda. (Not their real names).

Karen was the first to go. Karen and I were friends for a about a year. She and I used to do everything together but she had a problem. She was a pure attention seeker. Karen would go around finding guys to latch onto constantly and often times I would stay over at her college apartment after a night out drinking she would bring men home. Icky.

Karen also was completely focused on herself, she did suffer from mental health problems and I would do my best to support her but as time went on it became a real toll on my own mental health. I began slipping in my studies just like her and I felt our friendship had started to become toxic. So I asked her to meet for a DMC. She refused. 5 times. Each time telling me she didn't want my help or "my type of help".

I got sick of this and I started hanging around with Sarah. Sarah was a total pothead and she had a pretty big friend circle that I was excited to start getting to know. Sarah convinced me to get away from Karen and her toxicity. Because Sarah knew about things Karen had done in the past to other people.

So it took a while, the idea of dropping a friend took me a long time and it was made harder as Karen and I had planned on going on a college trip together. We agreed I would stay on good terms with Karen until the trip was over after that I would drop her.

I had a lot of anger built up and frustration at this point. I had been upset with Karen for a couple of weeks and i couldn't hold it together and before the trip I lashed out at Karen telling her how I really felt. She didn't take it well. A few days later we flew out on our trip and we had an unspoken agreement to tolerate each other while we were out there. It wasn't too bad. But I had to commit to cutting ties with Karen.

When i returned after the trip my friendship with Sarah really took off we went on drives in my car together, Amanda and Nathan were there and the four of us hung out a lot. Not so much James, he stuck to the sidelines.

As time went on Sarah and I became really close. We often would share stories about our life and she and I would be there for emotional support.

On the other side Amanda and I also became close and one day we had an incident... We got a little too close and Amanda had a boyfriend. One night I stayed over at Amandas and we kissed. Twice in the evening and two times in the morning before i left. Yikes. We were adult about it though and agreed to take a step back with our friendship as it clearly was going in a dangerous direction all Gucci.

As time went on things seemed fine, Sarah and I still hung out loads and we went out for Halloween with the gang of us all (minus karen). Halloween wasn't good for me, I broke down into tears out of stress because I was still behind in college work.

My friends still had my back thank god. And i felt a lot better afterwards. But as time went on the next couple of weeks things started going weird. Sarah started getting stressed about her course in college. We all had her back and did what we could, Sarah also suffered from depression so it wasn't a good situation. I also hadn't fully recovered from my friendship with Karen and i realised I began exhibiting signs of depression too. Likely because as it turned out Karen, Sarah and Amanda all had depression and all of the support I tried to give to all of them, on top of tonne of insecurities I had about my obesity and my general self hatred I had put me in a really bad state.

So the next week Sarah started feeling better thanks to her boyfriend Ryan but she still seemed to have an attitude with me. I was completely stumped. We did everything together and I figured we were both 50/50 giving and taking in our emotional support. Though there were times i felt like I had to push my life into hers because she talked so much about her own life.

Well she was salty and on Friday she tells me that she was feeling miserable and the happiest she has felt lately wasn't spending time with me it was with her other friend Michelle who I never met. She gets on to me saying I'm naive and I need to learn to tougher. She says I don't fully understand her personality yet and I will learn in time. She was mad because I gave Tommy a lift to the train in my car (Tommy is a trans female to male who also had a brief fling with amanda).

We did agree to stop talking to Tommy not because he was trans but because he made Amanda feel uncomfortable as unlike me (who respectfully made distance with amanda after we kissed) Tommy continued to peruse Amanda trying to get her to cheat on her boyfriend.

I don't know if Sarah knew I kissed Amanda. (This is such a mess)

Sarah caught me off guard anyways as I had no idea she felt this way about me. She said I was using her too much for emotional support and I needed to back off. She said she floats from friend to friend never committing too long to one person.

She also had a habit of not only telling me to cut ties to Karen and Tommy but also another person I actually was friends with whose name was Jacinta. Sarah would also remind me of how comfortable she was with cutting ties to anyone she didn't get along with.

I was shocked anyways by how angry she was at me. But assured me things would be fine and she isn't cutting ties with me at all. She just wanted to basically say "we are too good friends so I'm going to not be so close to you anymore".

I in the moment was like "lol ok". Then went home, got drunk. Got happy then got angry then sent her lots of Snapchats telling her I'm sick of my life being controlled and I feel like I'm walking on egg shells afraid to be myself.

This went down really well. Amanda, Sarah and Nathan all left the group chat we were in together and cut ties with me while Tommy also cut ties with me shortly afterwards.

In the DLC you'll learn i also angered my other friend Megan who genuinely was using me as an emotional pillow because literally 90% of the conversations we had together were about Megan and her life. I know it sounds like it's one rule for me and another for Megan but I swear Megan really did just talk about herself. (Oh megan also had ptsd and depression too).I actually did lots of things for Sarah. I gave her car rides all the time, I gave her lifts to college and home again. I gave her lifts to town and I genuinely would sit there and listen to her talk for hours about her life.

So I told off Megan too and said she needs to move on with her life and stop going on about he ex and her injuries from the car accident that happened two years ago all the time and to stop talking about herself 24/7.

That also went well.

So in conclusion I lost: Karen, Sarah, Megan, Amanda, Nathan, Tommy, and possibly James but he's trying to stay out of it.

I've also lost connections to other people who were friends of Sarah and Amanda too. So friends of friends.

[Ponyeater]

I feel like they'd treat you differently if you were not obese and more attractive instead. Since your socio-economic value to other people is probably average or below, it means they toss you around more.
But these individuals in particular were a disturbed bunch - Exactly what I'd expect from bi-sexuals. In my experience bi-sexual people are always the least stable and predictable.

No trolling by the way. I'm strongly convinced sexuality has huge effects on personality, mostly for the worse.

Are you in college? It sounds like you're in college. Try to get normal hetero friends. If they're women they will still be backstabby, but not this degree I think.

[ThatzYoAzz]

So what, you got problems...welcome to the club...no one really cares...its much easier to be a selfish piece of sh*t than to man up and tell ppl how you feel...kinda like "dropping" your friend after this trip your waiting on...man up tell her to F off! Dude you sound like the guy who sliced open his finger whining to the guy who NO ARM that your boo boo hurts

[AdahnGorion]

Początkowo opublikowane przez MikeBob2013:

People hurt. Friendships hurt. The surest way to avoid getting hurt is to avoid getting tangled up with people beyond the point where you smile at them and say 'hello' or 'good morning' in the store, or out on the street.

There are downsides to this: loneliness, periodic depression, boredom. But for me, the comfort and security of knowing that my existence will remain stable and disappointment-free for as long as I abstain from people and friendships beats back the darkness of any related downsides.

I love people. I truly do. The most rewarding and important things in life come from people, but I've been burned too many times: I'm actually happier in my solitude; I love people the most 'from a distance.'

These days, the best kind of relationship to be shared with others is the one where you all go away when I power down my computer before going back to watch the evening news.

XO XO XO

Life is the joyless quest for joy.

[abcd]

Copypasta or not...

Hard to judge your relationship with Karen, considering how much of it seems to have been formed out of Sarah's opinions.

Amanda will probably marry the guy and keep doing the same ♥♥♥♥.

Sarah's crap about naivete is to blame you for her being an emotional vampire and a narcissistic control freak.

You literally told Megan what Sarah told you. That entire line of reasoning is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. If you don't want to hear about their life that's fine. You don't need to be an ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and tell them to "just get over" being in a car wreck. Just ask them to stop talking instead and walk away if they don't; much less ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Tommy just wanted to be part of the group, and had an opportunity to get 'in' by joining them in rejecting you.

You also keep viewing yourself through Sarah's lens, even down to blaming yourself for a still-intact friend group rejecting you.

Maybe Karen will take you back if you stop judging her?

something something pillbottle.

[Xero_Daxter]

I never had to read that much since “Green Eggs and Ham”.

Can someone get audible for what OP said?

[AdahnGorion]

Początkowo opublikowane przez Xero_Daxter:

I never had to read that much since “Green Eggs and Ham”.

Can someone get audible for what OP said?

I gave up very fast. I will wait for the book to come out next June instead. No reason to read it before you have it all. Albeit the emotional teen life is strictly for research.

[Akko Chan]

Update:

Today "jason" spoke to me and invited me over to a table were lots of my friend of friends were sitting. He asked if I was the one Sarah fell out with and I told him I was. I explained my side of the story and he felt as though the adult thing to do was to simply talk to everyone and get their side.

So far I've spoken to Amanda and she explained that she had no idea what happened. She just knew I was drunk and being rude. She knew I fell out with Sarah and Megan but not much else. Amanda and I seem to be on good terms but we're gonna talk more about it later.

While Nathan was there too along with Tommy neither of them really spoke to me except for some small chat.

Jason really helped reassure me and I'm super greatful because otherwise I would just have assumed they all hated me and I would have kept avoiding them out of fear.

[Angel]

Początkowo opublikowane przez Power Panther:

Moral of the story: don't be friends with people with mental illness

I have to agree with that... Those people are emotionally/mentally draining others and I wish to keep my own sanity.

Początkowo opublikowane przez ★ Jotarina ★:

This is why I make it a point to not be someone else's therapist. I have enough problems of my own, they can keep their problems to their actual therapists, thanks.

^ Also, this.

[Табушка]

Początkowo opublikowane przez iP:

Amanda will probably marry the guy and keep doing the same ♥♥♥♥..

Every time Amanda does it she goes "oops I did it again..."

But anyway, I expected that Jason and the taxi driver / therapist would be reunited in the sequel. My prediction is that they will once again return and avenge the tyrannical triumvirate of Sarah, Nathan and Amanda. They will pay for their betrayal and sinful lifestyle, and once they are dethroned the Taxi Driver and Jason will live happily ever after. She will give daily rides to Jason and give emotional talk to him along the way and Jason will do what Jason does (the story didn't really clarify what exactly Jason does yet). A beautiful end to a beautiful high school story.

[AdahnGorion]

Początkowo opublikowane przez Akko Chan:

Update:
Snip

If you write enough for a book, I will publish it.. I am not joking.

[Z]

Początkowo opublikowane przez 𝓂𝒶𝓎𝒶:

so im not the only one who has lost everyone, my friends call me "the lone wanderer" well if any of them existed in the first place

It's okay. Most importantly, don't lose yourself. Love yourself.

[Qlone]

All I heard was 'Hit me, Karen, hit me. And don't stop hitting me'”

[alicerinz]

Too long didn't read.

But you made an effort. I got bored after 4th paragraph, but it wasnt overly unpleasant to read.

I give this tl;dr/epic games store

[36564176]

at least you had friends

[Vectif]

My friend circles come and go, I've had several until staying with one which is the one I have currently. From the leftovers of past friend groups I made my own, and here we are now. Having fun and happy, so, life goes on basically.