Ancient rome should never have fallen

[Clyan]

Everything after ancient rome sucked and still sucks.

First we got the western roman empire which already was much less appealing. And after the formidable constantinople had fallen they straight up went into the middle ages, where everything smelled like horse crap and people wore dirty and boring cloths. Knights were the only cool thing, but even that is questionable because without their helmets you could see their retarded haircuts. The vast majority of people were poor, and royalty started giving birth to ugly ass children. Not to forget they went super hard on monotheism.

Somewhere in the late middle ages the renaissance started, closely followed by the age of discovery. That's basically where people tried to go from huga buga to boogie woogie, but miserably failed. It was a bit of everything, they tried to go back to ancient greek and rome and at the same time tried inventing tanks, helicopters and stuff like that. Michelangelo was a smart and fancy dude, but overall you could already see that human kind had gone wrong somewhere entirely and was deteriorating into an inferior post monkey.

Eventually the modern ages came along. That's basically where magic, mistery and fantasy were wiped out for good. Except religion. Tho most interesting religions were long gone by that time. The Ages of revolution got rid of most monarchs and supposedly gave power to the plebs. The industrial revolution went ultra spazztastic and completely changed the world into a smoke covered, depressive pile of dog feces. Trains, cars and eventually aeroplanes started existing, polluting everything. Today we're living in the post modern age, but really it's just the modern age with extra crap like computers, iphones, segways, electric dildos and even worse art.

We failed guys. Ancient rome should never have fallen.

[Fajita Jim]

Messaggio originale di Marius:

I am more interested in the downfall and last struggles of the UK. From a few clans, to Britannica, to a few kingdoms spanning two islands, to 4 kingdoms, to 2 kingdoms, to one united kingdom, to world leader, to one united kingdom again and now its last breathes till it fallls apart in 3 or 4 nations. What a ride

I think the Brits call that "A jolly pleasant evening."

[Jack]

Messaggio originale di Candyy ♡:

I honestly wont miss ancient rome

Rly didnt like how they treated slave

Yeah... they should have treated their SLAVES nicer.

[Γαῖα]

Creation and collapse seem to go hand in hand. Perhaps the enormity of its scales eventually leads to it becoming stretched and thus thin in many areas.
This in turn leads to small groups breaking away to form smaller communes and so on till the cycle repeats be it through force or election.

[midnite rule]

Messaggio originale di Marius:

I am more interested in the downfall and last struggles of the UK. From a few clans, to Britannica, to a few kingdoms spanning two islands, to 4 kingdoms, to 2 kingdoms, to one united kingdom, to world leader, to one united kingdom again and now its last breathes till it fallls apart in 3 or 4 nations. What a ride

meh

[Marius]

Messaggio originale di midnite rule:

Messaggio originale di Marius:

I am more interested in the downfall and last struggles of the UK. From a few clans, to Britannica, to a few kingdoms spanning two islands, to 4 kingdoms, to 2 kingdoms, to one united kingdom, to world leader, to one united kingdom again and now its last breathes till it fallls apart in 3 or 4 nations. What a ride

meh

Probably going to mehh, yes.

[Sam]

Yeah, history! You're not talking about Sydne Rome, aren't you? No. Let's take a look at your bold hypothesis then.

Messaggio originale di Clyan:

Everything after ancient rome sucked and still sucks.

Alright, that's your opinion. It's a bold topic statement for sure. Let's see how you develop it.

Messaggio originale di Clyan:

First we got the western roman empire which already was much less appealing. And after the formidable constantinople had fallen they straight up went into the middle ages, where everything smelled like horse crap and people wore dirty and boring cloths. Knights were the only cool thing, but even that is questionable because without their helmets you could see their retarded haircuts. The vast majority of people were poor, and royalty started giving birth to ugly ass children. Not to forget they went super hard on monotheism.

I haven't heard for decades about the good old notion of translatio imperii, the westward movement of the empires. You've forgot a few though: Mesopotamia, Egypt and Greece, if we only choose the canonical ones. And I've already got my first question: compared to which one was the Roman Empire less appealing? Considering that the Renaissance started in the first half of the 14th century with Brunelleschi in Italy and that Constantinople only fell in 1453, I think it's again a bold statement to link its fall with the beginning of the middle ages. Are you by any chance teaching history classes at an American High School?

Let us consider your claim that everything smelled like horse crap. Always be careful when using exaggerations like that: hyperbole may sound like Super Bowl, but it's not really a good idea. There were cows, sheep, pigs and all sorts of other lifestock that smelled terribly. The Great Stink wasn't an invention of our modern times. To assume that people only wore dirty and boring clothes is again a logical fallacy. Some people didn't wear any clothes at all while others wore pretty fancy, elaborate stuff, and even long before mommy did the laundering people were able to wash or change their clothes.

Knights were the only cool thing? You're piling topic statement on topic statement without any elaboration or illustration. Dude, don't do that. If you say that knights were the hot ♥♥♥♥, you should stick to it. Have you ever heard of Jean le Maingre, called Boucicault? Compared to that guy, Steven Seagal looks like a little schoolgirl, and I bet Boucicault even had the cooler hair cut as well.

Your claim that the vast majority of people were poor is partially right, but you can say the same about the Roman Empire or any other epoch in the history of mankind. However, your claim about the ugliness of royal offspring simply lacks proof. The last point in your introductory paragraph is espcially problematic. I hate those dangling modifiers! Who is they? The vast majority of people, royalty or their ugly children? Let us consider for a short moment that Nicene Christianiy was declared as Roman state religion in the Edict of Thessalonica in 380, 96 years before Odoacer deposed the last Roman emperor. Thus, even the Romans "went super hard on monotheism" in the end.

Messaggio originale di Clyan:

Somewhere in the late middle ages the renaissance started, closely followed by the age of discovery. That's basically where people tried to go from huga buga to boogie woogie, but miserably failed. It was a bit of everything, they tried to go back to ancient greek and rome and at the same time tried inventing tanks, helicopters and stuff like that. Michelangelo was a smart and fancy dude, but overall you could already see that human kind had gone wrong somewhere entirely and was deteriorating into an inferior post monkey.

I could say that this paragraph is brilliant, a pure stroke of genius, but it has a few flaws as well. I like the passage about huga buga and boogie woogie: that's pretty nice. You seem to confuse Michelangelo and da Vinci though: the first painted the Sistine Chapel, the latter is the guy with all those fancy inventions, essentially a Renaissance Kevin Spacey who had to flee Florence before he got his balls cut off for raping one of his pupils. I see that you're a fellow proponent of Cultural Pessimism, but you shouldn't be too harsh on that poor monkey.

Messaggio originale di Clyan:

Eventually the modern ages came along. That's basically where magic, mistery and fantasy were wiped out for good. Except religion. Tho most interesting religions were long gone by that time. The Ages of revolution got rid of most monarchs and supposedly gave power to the plebs. The industrial revolution went ultra spazztastic and completely changed the world into a smoke covered, depressive pile of dog feces. Trains, cars and eventually aeroplanes started existing, polluting everything. Today we're living in the post modern age, but really it's just the modern age with extra crap like computers, iphones, segways, electric dildos and even worse art.

Be careful here: magic, or magick, as the really cool kids say, is closely related to our modern age. Just take Eliphas Levi, MacGregor Mathers, Aleister Crowley, or Siegfried and Roy, for example. The same goes for mystery and fantasy. The modern age even saw the rise of some extremely interesting religions such as Rastafari, Pastafarianism, or my personal favourite, Anton LaVey's funky bunch of merry Satanists. Your claim about the Ages of Revolution is also pretty simplified: of course we should take into account the American Revolutionary War and the French Revolution which, seen against the larger canvas of European monarchies, didn't really have that great impact. The Russian Revolution has to be seen in the context of WWI and should be treated separately. You end your paragraph again with a very subjective statement about the inevitable downfall of cultural achievements in Postmodernism, but what about such superb cultural achievements such as TikTok, Instagram or Burger King? I'm also of the firm belief that the Romans would have loved electric dildos.

Messaggio originale di Clyan:

We failed guys. Ancient rome should never have fallen.

Nah, dude. It could have been much worse.

[Little Miss Terror]

Why are people taking this seriously?

[Sam]

Why aren't people reading that nonsense before they confuse trolling with taking something seriously?

[Little Miss Terror]

Messaggio originale di Sam:

Why aren't people reading that nonsense before they confuse trolling with taking something seriously?

I wasn't referring to you specifically.

Also, why would I read a 1000+ word comment made on a joke thread?

[Z i o ⚡]

They drank themselves to failure with their special lead silverware and drinkware.

[Ⓥenom Ⓢnake 🐍]

But... but... I agree with op. Rome shouldn't have fallen.

...

It should have imploded and then burned so thoroughly that the ashes rained across all of europe!

Oh... Wait... that did happen! Yay!

[Sam]

Messaggio originale di Roseate, Her Thighness:

I wasn't referring to you specifically.

Also, why would I read a 1000+ word comment made on a joke thread?

Nobody forces you to read it, my dear. I just answered the OP's version of Moby ♥♥♥♥ with my own version of War and Peace: two trolls trolling for the sake of trolling. I'm not so sure if anybody here is taking this thread seriously though. We may seem like a bunch of morons to intellectuals passing by, but I'm not so sure if we're really that dumb.

[Magma Dragoon]

Messaggio originale di Marius:

I am more interested in the downfall and last struggles of the UK. From a few clans, to Britannica, to a few kingdoms spanning two islands, to 4 kingdoms, to 2 kingdoms, to one united kingdom, to world leader, to one united kingdom again and now its last breathes till it fallls apart in 3 or 4 nations. What a ride

Welsh could have had it all if they weren't obsessed with Roman politics. Hopefully they've learned their lesson and are prepared to seize power in the next dark age.

[Sam]

Wait! Steam censors Moby ♥♥♥♥? That's just perfect.

[Little Miss Terror]

Messaggio originale di Sam:

Messaggio originale di Roseate, Her Thighness:

I wasn't referring to you specifically.

Also, why would I read a 1000+ word comment made on a joke thread?

Nobody forces you to read it, my dear. I just answered the OP's version of Moby ♥♥♥♥ with my own version of War and Peace: two trolls trolling for the sake of trolling. I'm not so sure if anybody here is taking this thread seriously though. We may seem like a bunch of morons to intellectuals passing by, but I'm not so sure if we're really that dumb.

My inquiry was not why people don't realise that the thread is a joke, under the assumption that they don't; my inquiry was why people are taking responding seriously, even if the responses are not serious, under the assumption that those replying do actually know the thread is a joke.